How do I resolve this extremely difficult situation with Muslim parents?
How do I resolve this extremely difficult situation with Muslim parents?
I am 31 years old and I am muslim. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 4 years now who is a hindu. She is willing to convert to my religion. I told her not to convert for the sake of marriage but only if you believe in the religion and then we can get married. I am the only child and my parents are not accepting her. They have never met her and still dont care if she is willing to convert. My father is the problem as he does not want any other culture or converts in our family. He says he has seen it before and it never works out in the end. I do not have a good relationship with my father but i do not want to hurt my parents. I just want everyone to be happy and get along. Im scared that if it doesnt work out then they will say i told you so and i will be disowned and left alone like i have been growing up. I’ve tried asking my friends fathers to speak to him since they have gone through the same thing and i have also tried asking local priests to talk to my dad but he is so stubborn he does not allow them to speak and stands by his points. I have been stuck in this position for the last 3 years and can’t seem to move forward. What do i do?
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6 Answers
Ultimately, this really isn’t about Islam, it’s about a stubborn father who is unwilling to listen to the feelings of his child. If you love this woman and she loves you, then marry her. Devote your life to being a good husband and father.
”...Im scared that if it doesnt work out…”
Make it work out. Work hard to make it work out. Marriages take work and effort to succeed. Talk to your girlfriend beforehand about problems and how you will solve them. Work as a team together to support each other and your kids.
Do you think he differing religions will be a problem for you guys?
You’re 31 years old and have thrown 3 years of your life away worrying about your father’s approval of the woman you love? I congratulate you on your realization that your girlfriend should not adopt your religion as a matter of convenience. Ask your father if he would prefer a lifetime of your resentment at his depriving you of the love of your life.
I have no advice. I want to say that you’re likely to receive only answers from an American cultural point of view here.
What if it doesn’t work out?
Well what if it does work out and she is the love of your life?
Put a time limit on this relationship give it another 6 months or a year to decide.
Its when all doubts are gone then make your move to become independent of parents approval.
However I realize that its easy for one on the other side of the world to make this decision, as we do not know of your customs and so on.
You are 31 and old enough to make up your own mind. Good luck!
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