If your friend shared good news, would you be happy for them?

How about neither?

Happy and helpful in their quest to liquidate that burdensome fortune! After all, what’s the satisfaction in hogging ALL the rain?

I’d be happy for them… It’s hard for me to even imagine being resentful of a friend sharing good news, including stock market windfalls. Why would someone resent their friends’ good fortune?

I’d be happy for them.

On the other hand, if I were the one making a killing in the stock market, I’d try to be sensitive in how I shared it with my friend if they were down on their luck.

Of course. Unless my friend’s good fortune came at my expense, her gain takes nothing away from me. Why shouldn’t I be happy for her?

It’s only natural to wish good fortune for oneself as well, and having it strike close by without reaching you sometimes feels unfair. But it’s not about fairness at all. That’s just an illusion. There’s no connection, even if it feels like a painful contrast.

I’ve probably given my friend birthday cards and other greeting cards and best wishes dozens of times over the years. I would be delighted to know that all my good wishes are coming true for her.

I would hope they would be diplomatic in how they broke the news and remembered that I was not as fortunate as they were. I could then be wholeheartedly happy for them.

As with anything of consequence in life, there is an art to “sharing the wealth”. I believe that is preferable to come into real money years after the tinge of noveau riche has worn away, and the lessons digested. You never want to surface with scads of money if you can avoid it.

I’d be happy for them and to be honest with myself, maybe envious, too.

Hopefully they’d not be gloating and boasting.

I have friends doing very well with financial and professional success and enviable family lives. I was always happy for them while I was in a long period of not doing well myself.

Probably because they are not spoiled by success. They grew up very well off, but aren’t focused on material comfort and wealth, they are oriented towards relationships with friends, kids, relatives etc.

Happy. Much better to hear good news than bad. At least of they made a fortune on the stock market, there’s no need for me to feel bummed and depressed.

@stanleybmanly I’m curious what you mean by your 2nd and 3rd sentences?

Let’s say that the amount of happiness that a good person would feel is 100 points.

If it’s a friend that I barely know, I would have 90 points of happiness. The -10 comes from not caring about them.

If it’s a friend that I’m close to then it’s one of two options:

If it’s a close friend that I don’t worry about (financially), then it’s 80 points. The -20 is jealousy but I’m still very happy for them.

If it’s a close friend that I do worry about (financially), then it’s 150 points. The +50 is selfishness because now I know that I won’t have to take care of them. I’m jumping up and down with glee, but ⅓ of that is for selfish reasons.

@capet, I have simply never thought of happiness in such terms before. Interesting but a little chilly.

@Jeruba Thanks, I am playing up the sociopathy for fun in that answer :)

o course, always glad that one has progressed.
If one progresses and is a humanitarian then that person could help numerous others through Foundations, Charites and Food Banks.
In the end we all gain eventually.
Money for just money sake is not productive.

Yes, of course.

Yes, being happy for the people I love or care about only enriches my life. What’s the point in being jealous? I get nothing for being jealous and it changes nothing for them except for making me a pretend friend. We all have good and bad times. Bad times are plenty, so enjoy the good times, even when it’s not about you. Life becomes more enjoyable that way.

^^Amen to that!