Did you do anything when you first got married to be a better spouse? Possibly NSFW.

Absolutely, same as you, plus a homecooked dinner each night. Exhausting. Now I’m just honest about a sandwich night or ordering out.
Making nice with my in-laws was my biggest challenge, as they were a bit overwhelming for an only child.

Nope.

Yes, (not married though).
When alone I can be a sloth, and a procrastinating one at that.
Whem I am together we do most everything together, in a kind of flow.
I only rarely cook dinner (also not when we are together).
In exchange I do heavy lifting and stuff.

I absolutely did that in house cleaning, laundry, and being handy around the house. I like those things and would do them anyway, but once married, I made them a responsibility — no matter how exhausted I was.

My wife did a similar thing with food shopping, cooking, and cleaning.

And we both pushed ourselves to do bills together.

Once my wife found me scrubbing the bathroom floor tile with a toothbrush, she immediately gave up on house cleaning and left that to me.

About a year later, she admitted that bills stress her out and left that to me (which is amazing since I’m not that great at it and it causes me tons of anxiety).

For my part, I still do handyman stuff, but WAY less and hire people to do it more for me. But it took me fifteen years to learn that lesson.

A little off topic (sorry, JL), but @cookieman, let me urge you from my present perspective to make sure she knows how to handle the bills, which ones you pay online and how, which are on auto-pay, how to access and manage financial accounts, when to expect property tax, and all the rest. If you become impaired or worse, that stressful time is a terrible moment for her to have to sort through it all and figure it out.

If she doesn’t want to sit down with you and go through it, write it down along with user IDs and passwords, and keep the list current. Also make sure she knows how to reach advisors she can trust.

@Jeruba: Absolutely. I’ve been working on an easy to follow spreadsheet with all pertinent info.

I did a lot of DIY, inside the house and out which I would never have done otherwise, at least not to the same extent.

I was fine with all domestic duties.
Testifying at his Captain’s mast was something I volunteered to do, but I was not pleased.

Watch their TV shows that I had no interest in.

Now we have shared shows and separate shows. Much better!

My husband got pissed when I suggested getting a 2nd TV for football season.

I would have thought he’d love that idea!

He saw it as an insult.

Hahaha