What would you do if you had command of a zombie army?

I hope my zombies are good at weeding and trenching garden beds, because my own are overgrown messes.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy everything about gardening. I simply don’t have any free hours during CPA Prime Time.

I would make them go online, buy merch, put it on, and then let them blend in in a MAGA rally.

I would rent them out to the Amazon warehouse. For minimum wage. Or have them pick fruits and vegetables.

I would use them to intimidate people into getting their COVID shot

I’d get a gas mask and oxygen supply.

Imagine the stench of an army of putrid flesh…

I would order them into a volcano.
An army of zombies, even if on my side, is terrifying, and they should be destroyed.

Overrun Russia.

They could be a good resource for money making. They are dead, so they aren’t afflicted by the petty things the living are: fatigue, sleep deprivation… They eat brains, but it’s mostly for pleasure and not for combating hunger. So I can make them work as hard as I want to, and occasionally give out brains as rewards. Soon enough I’ll be rich :D

It depends on their various qualities and weaknesses, probably particularly how stealthy and mobile they were, and where they started out.

If I can conjure them to appear anywhere, I’m sending them after megacorporate leadership, evil oligarchs, and/or whoever is doing damage to wildlife habitat and endangered species.

I’d have them pick up trash, sort recycling and plant trees. I also might use them to fuck with my friends and family. My wife likes to jump scare me. I’m pretty sure my zombie army would permanently resolve that issue: Game, Set, Match Gorilla!