What would you change on/to a cow so that it would become a life threatening dangerous animal?

Attitude. They’re already big, they already have hard hoofiies and pointy stuff on their heads, just let them know how ill-used they’ve been by humans. Piss ‘em off.

Any reason you want to weaponize cows, @rebbel?

Male cows are already a life-threatening, dangerous animal. If you don’t believe me, stroll through Pamplona in July.

They already are. They emit methane from their posteriors, which little by little adds to global warming.

One single thing? Make it a meat eater. We’re all in immediate mortal danger then….forget about peaceful meadow walks, if cows become meat eaters, our homes won’t be safe because they already don’t fear humans, are used to living amongst us in our habitat and most importantly, they have the numbers to just stampede right through us and our houses.

I’ve lived around cows and bulls long enough to know that they can get pretty aggressive when they are agitated. A meat eating cow is scary to imagine, to be honest.

The same upgrade that Kano got

Cows are already dangerous. There were probably more people killed in the UK last year by cows than were killed in the US by bears.

Upturned, hooked horns.

Hormones imbalance might change the cows placid nature.

Ability to communicate clearly to one another and the brain capacity/IQ of the smartest human. Oh yeh and some shark like teeth.

@Lightlyseared Cows or bulls?

@elbanditoroso The flamable methane from cows actually emits from their mouths.
I suppose equiping them with a pilot light would creat a flame breathing bovine.

@janbb cows. Bulls aren’t usually a problem. Generally walkers who are unfamiliar with general countryside etiquette but smart enough to steer clear of the one with giant horns.

You could implant an RPG in it’s butt…

Personally, @kritiper, I would tend to avoid a Role Playing Game that involved a cow’s butt. :-P

Your idea is funny and silly, but the truth is cows really can kill. If you think they can’t, you haven’t spent much time on a cattle ranch. (I spent my childhood on my grandfather’s cattle ranch, so I know.)

Any large animal can maim and destroy. I was taught from an early age how to stay safe, and even have some fun with them.

I still want to know @rebbel wants to weaponize cows.

Why is this question making me think of Monty Python?

Illustration of @filmfann ‘s idea

I once knew a family whose little child, a girl about seven years old, was terrified of cows at night. Evidently heard or imagined the ‘mooing; sound.

There was no reasoning with her that cows could not enter the house and that they were not dangerous, So she was given a stuffed animal, a raccoon I think, because she was able to be convinced that cows were afraid of raccoons and would not come in her bedroom.

Cannot edit anymore. The stuffed animal was not a raccoon but a hedgehog.

Apparently @rebbel is out weaponizing cows and hasn’t come back to this question.

You can also teach them Kung Fu

I would give cows the knowledge that they will be beefburgers by the end of the year.

Are we talking about beef cows or dairy/milk cows???

This whole question is udderly ridiculous!

^^^ I cud hardly wait for the first thread pun. And now you will try to milk it for all it is worth.

Whether to stay on this thread or not puts me on the horns of a dilemma.

And please no cheesy puns. Don’t try to butter me up,

This whole thread has put me in a bad moo-d.

^^ You two have made me properly cowed. I think I’ll have to write about this in my dairy tonight!

My husband’s hand was crushed by a cow when he worked as a farmhand. He had to have his wedding band cut off because his hand was so swollen.

@janbb Please be kine’d

@zenvelo That pun was simply bovine!

Mooove a long here nothing to see.

~My uncle broke his arm drinking milk. The cow fell on him.

I always thought a car horn that sounded like a cow, saying “Moooo-oove” would be a novelty.

Cows don’t fart methane?? Do cow farts stink??

One quick way to make a cow violent is not to milk it for two weeks.

Cows don’t “fart” at all. They poop, but bovines don’t pass gas the way many other animals do,

Use a virus.

I’ve herd that once the puns start, they butter not stop ‘til the cows come home.

To the OP: I went on a hike yesterday and looked a cow in the eyes. We both knew she could take me if she chose to… though teeth and claws like a mountain lion or bear would certainly make her job easier.

Able to walk/run on their hind legs, their udders shooting milk with impunity.
Oh & camo markings!

@canidmajor Yes, RPG could be a role playing game, but to go along with the OP’s question, I was thinking more along the lines of a Rocket Propelled Grenade. But you knew that. Right??

@kritiper , actually I did, I was messin’ with you. :-)