I want to cultivate a letting-go mind. What should I do?

For a while after my marriage ended, I attended a weekly Buddhist meet-up with a lecture and guided meditation. I’ve never yet become great at getting rid of my monkey mind and meditating but some of the lectures about emotional detachment and letting go of baggage, both actual and virtual, were very helpful to me. You might look for a group of that sort.

Also, perhaps hiring an assistant to help you go through the stuff stuff and sort things out into keep, throw out, and give away piles could be of use. Even if they could help in carrying some of the load away that would be great. I’m thinking of college student or domestic worker.

Don’t look here, get yourself a professional therapist.

You can do some of this yourself, by letting go. You know what the problem is, and you know how to solve it. Ultimately that’s what a therapist would help you with.

But since you know what to do, right now it’s about seriously doing it. Don’t overthink. Start with one less controlling action tomorrow. Two the next day. Work your way into it.

Practice the ‘practice of meditation’. It’s about focusing your mind and letting go of each thought that intrudes, and the next, and the next. Don’t worry about “doing it right” – there is no right way. Thoughts are going to intrude, that’s the nature of the mind. Even people who have been doing it for many years have intrusions. The goal may be to not have them, but the point is what you do with them when they come. That’s what trains your mind to let go.

Adopt a happy go lucky attitude. Always worked for me. If you feel a need to shed a few peeps from your life, just do it. It doesn’t take 10 volumes of Sigmund Freud. Five years from now they’ll never know the difference. What, me worry?

Daily meditation is the best thing to help you with this all around. It will settle your mind and emotions and will also give you a new attitude about material things in your life. You’ll simply know what to keep and what to get rid of.

There are myriad ways to meditate. You can search YouTube for guided meditations. You can read books about it. You can contact a local Buddhist group.

All the best to you.

I kept almost every assignment, test and brochure from grade 3. Mostly fits in four large boxes in my closet. I have lots of books that I can use for reference. Also I have furniture and clothing, technology and stuff.

It helps to watch the television series Horders in A&E or TLC. After watching a couple of show’s I am motivated to clean up my apartment and chuck out clutter.

It takes a lot of soul searching. The physical clutter is easy…if you look at something and realize you haven’t touched it (or looked at it in the context of some decoration) in 6 months, or maybe a year, it isn’t really that important. Some things have immense sentimental value, but that is different.

The attitudes, fears, etc are a different matter. You have to look honestly at all your attitudes, fears, emotions, etc and think about them deeply. If you are afraid of something, think about what it is that actually scares you. If you find yourself being angry or sad a lot, try to look at the times (things that are going on in your life or events that you have touched on) and see if there is a common thread there. Try to eliminate those things. For example, if watching the evening news always makes you feel blue, stop watching it.

You also have to have the understanding that all these things that constipate you mentally and emotionally are keeping you from actually enjoying life. Let’s say you are dreadfully shy. I used to be this way. You go to a party and have a hard time talking to new people or participating in the “fun” things. This shyness is usually some form of fear. You are afraid of what others will think of you, you are afraid you will make a fool of yourself, etc. You can consciously force yourself to interact. Speak up when you talk. Say hi to a stranger. Do something that has a high chance of making you look foolish. You will find that all your fears were baseless. Yes, some people will not like your views or will laugh when you do something foolish. You can’t control their reactions. And you can laugh along with them because it probably was funny. I they are bringing arrogance and ridicule if you do small things “wrong”, they have the problem, not you.

In the end, visualize what you want to be like and behave the way that will get you there. And you might just find that people you now believe will drop you, will actually be more drawn to you.