Have you interviewed your parents?

I didn’t “interview” them , but I did start asking them questions when they got into their late 70s. That is how I found out that my dad’s Uncle Jimmy and my dad’s grandmother had moved to Santa Monica around 1930. But my grandmother did not get along with her mother in law, and my grandmother also felt Uncle Jimmy encouraged my grandfather’s drinking, so Jimmy and his mother were not welcome at my grandmother’s.

I tried to get some similarstoreis from my mom, but her parents did not talk much about their lives before the moved to California.

Story-telling was something we did at the table all the time. After Sunday lunch, we would stay at the table listening to everyone’s stories. Grandparents, parents and uncles would tell what they remembered of their childhood, school, etc. I loved that. A lot of joking and laughter. My father was quiet and we were closer to my mom’s side of the family. My mother never missed a chance to tell me about her grandmother and all the trouble she, her brothers and sisters got into. If I were to interview them, I would ask more questions about the present because I want to know how they have managed to age so gracefully. What their secret is and what is key to continue life in such a positive way.

@Yeahright Some of the suggested questions were about what did your parents want for you, what did they learn from working, what did they learn that helped them the most in life, and other sorts of advise oriented questions. I’m planning on doing at least one more interview with a different angle the next time, maybe I will ask some of those.

Another set of questions asked if they dated someone before meeting each other who they have wondered about over the year, and other questions that I think can be uncomfortable that I don’t think I would ask. I know my mom dated a guy, or maybe was engaged or they talked about marriage before my dad. His family put pressure on him to break it off, because he was Catholic and my mom was Jewish. She was really heart broken from what I understand. Maybe I will ask her if she ever wondered what her life would have been like. I have no idea if my dad had a serious relationship before my mom. For now, I don’t feel inclined to ask about it.

As part of earning a particular Girl Scout badge, it required interviewing a living relative. I selected a grandmother. Since she lived several states away, I wrote a letter to her asking her to describe her youth.

The response was fascinating. She was born in the 1890s in a small town in Pennsylvania. Her father was the town medical doctor. Gram and her younger received special treatment due to their father’s status, like chips of ice to suck on from the “ice man” delivering blocks of ice for home ice boxes.

Her father caught TB from a patient and was advised to head southwest to a warmer, dryer climate. He left for New Mexico. After a long period of time, her mother packed up and took the girls, via train, to be with him.

Gram found the environmental and cultural change fascinating. While affiliating with people from “south of the border” was frowned upon, she and her sister ignored it.

The family eventually moved back to Pennsylvania. Gram continued her education. Her school roommate had a brother that she talked horribly about. When Gram finally met him, and despite the dire warnings, they fell in love and were married shortly after.

Gram wrote the letter in longhand, so Mom kindly typed it up for me (making it legible). I still have both. A copy has been passed on to my cousins and most of Gram’s great children.

@Pied_Pfeffer Wonderful to have the letter in her penmanship with so much information. I hope you received a badge for it. Such a great story. Thank you.

I never interviewed my parents but after they died and it was too late I wished I had. I have been researching my family history during lockdown and while I have found all the basic facts there are many questions I would like to ask them. My father used to talk about his experiences during World War 2 and my mother used to speak of her life in London before she married but I was young and didn’t pay much attention.

@flutherother I feel like that about my grandmother. I used to help her in the kitchen and she used to teach me how cook and shared stories. I can’t remember all of those and I wish I did. Miss my grandma!

I interviewed my mother’s eldest sister (18 years older) about family history. This aunt had grown up in the country of origin then moved to the U.S. as a young adult (my mom was born in the U.S.). She told us about relatives a few generations back who were mostly news to my mom and me. There was an unmarried great grandmother who ran several businesses in her town. She bore a few children by different men of her chosing and raised them herself. One of them was our ancestor.