Would you get upset if your child's school made them eat something they didn't want to eat?

Would you force an adult to eat something they didn’t want to eat?

If I went to eat somewhere, and didn’t like what was served, I would complain or not eat it. I wouldn’t expect people to start tricking me or cajoling me into eating something I didn’t want or liked.

The same sort of dignity and respect should be extended to children.

Exactly @Kropotkin.

Mom used to tell the story of when they served spinach at.lunch in her elementary school. She hated spinach. the nuns forced her to eat some. She promptly blew chow all over the table.
They never made her eat spinach again.
GO MOM!!!

I do not support children being forced to eat something they don’t want to eat. My mom told me a story of being forced to eat spinach at the dinner table even though she would practically throw up every time. Consequently, my parents never forced me to eat anything I didn’t want to (I wasn’t much of a picky eater and I get that there are some extreme situations) but I certainly wouldn’t support a school forcing any student to eat anything. She shouldn’t have had to go to the point of saying she was allergic.

We have a saying in Germany: “Friss, Vogel, oder stirb.”
It translates to “Eat, bird, or die.”
You eat what you get served.

What’s wrong with not eating anything at all @ragingloli?

Oh she’s a sly one, Mr. Grinch
@Demosthenes. I’m sure she weighed her options in advance: 1) Say she doesn’t want it and hassle with being nagged, or 2) just say she’s allergic. NOBODY hassles kids to eat food they’re allergic to.
She chose door #2. Smart kid.

BTW…her Mom tends to hassle the kids to eat. I wish she wouldn’t.

Very upset. It’s abuse in my book.

@Dutchess_III The same happened to me in grade school and yes it was a nun that tried to MAKE me eat Prunes. Really!!!
Yeah, I ate one and lost it all over the lunchroom table. Way to go Sister Mary Elephant!!!!

Assholes!

It doesn’t sound like they did force her to eat it though – or am I missing something?

They didn’t. Mom answered my question today.

I agree it’s abuse @JLeslie.

I told Mom I knew I’ve been doing the right thing by not letting the kids see the banana part of my homemade banana bread batter. It even grosses ME out!

Yes. Like @JLeslie said, it’s abuse. In fact, forcing me to eat foods I didn’t like is one of the things that my abuser did to me as a child. And while it didn’t leave physical scars like some of the other things she did, it nevertheless stuck with me. I can still remember the kitchen table where she would leave whatever she planned to make me eat that day sitting out so that I knew it was coming the whole time.

I realize that’s an extreme case, but plenty of people have traumatic memories of forced eating (some of which have been shared above). I wouldn’t let something even close to that happen to my son. And woe to anyone who tries it while I’m not around.

@SavoirFaire…that’s just sick. I am so sorry. Makes me want to cry.

I went out of state once and arranged day care for my 4 year old son.
The day I came back I served green beans with dinner.
Little Chris pushed his plate away and said “Don’t even menshion green beans!”
I said “What? You like green beans!”
Well the babysitter had served green beans for lunch one day. For whatever reason Chris didn’t want them.
She made him sit at that table through the afternoon, until his dad came
It was months before he’d eat them again.
Bitch.

I totally agree with all of you that say it is abusive. Luckily, I was never forced to eat and my sons, one of whom was very picky, were not. You should definitely be able to control what is put in your body.

“Here! Try these jellied cow brains! Take a bite! TAKE A BITE!!”

I don’t have kids but I would like to think that not only would I be annoyed that the school did this, I would never do that to my hypothetical kids. My parents did that to me, and I was a very picky eater. So many dinners ended with me crying and made to sit in my seat until I ate my food. I never would, so I went to bed hungry and crying.
Fun dinner and evening had by all. ~

;(

Yes, they’d awaken the dragon in me, too. A school that thinks they need to overpower children in that way has serious problems.

Kids have to learn many things on their own. This minor incident is one of them. (The child sounds rather spoiled.)

The only thing I would hope is she learns to feel she doesn’t need to lie, she can just say she doesn’t like whatever it is she doesn’t like. I know a lot of women who feel they need to lie to be taken seriously or to not get harassed, and they wind up telling a lot of fibs and white lies.

If I had my ideal situation, a teacher or someone on the school staff would tell her she doesn’t have to lie, she can tell the truth and it will be respected.

It’s not so much that I’m worried that she lied, it’s that I’m sick of our culture putting girls in that position and I worry about girls feeling empowered to tell the truth or simply say no for themselves.

Why does she sound spoiled
@kritiper? Are there foods you don’t like?

I was subjected to forced feeding for nearly all of my childhood. My parents didn’t even have any say on what they fed me. In fact, everyone was expected that they were feeding us good food. I was even shamed to believe that I was a spoilt child for not liking the food they gave me, and I believed it.

If it was the young me seeing this question, she would say your kid was spoilt for not liking that food, because I was served even worse food and I powered through them.

Oh, the reason why I had such a phobia for boiled fish was because of my forced feeding childhood. I only started to like some types of fish very, very recently.

My husband’s brother would eat almost anything as a child. Their sister was petite and pickier and tortured to eat foods she didn’t like and over fed to the point of vomiting almost daily for a while during her childhood. The worst of the force feeding was in school. Her mom told the nuns to make sure her daughter finished all of her lunch.

I tell this story to point out that someone like my BIL might not understand the trauma of being force fed because for him being forced to finish his food was not traumatic. So, someone like him might be more likely to view a picky eater as spoiled. I don’t think he personally would, but I’m just making a point.

If I had been forced fed I would have HATED my parents, and I don’t hate easily. I can’t imagine dreading meal time every day. I put it up there with any sort of physical abuse. They might as well have burned cigarettes on my skin for fun.

I know some parents have real trouble getting their kids to eat, but mostly kids eat when they are hungry and their hunger is sufficient.

I’d be upset if my daughter’s school forced her to eat something she didn’t want to. Fortunately, her school is not that way and fortunately, the school @Dutchess_III is asking about didn’t do it, either.

My cousin talks about how her father forced her to eat every pea on her plate, and to this day (she’s in her 60’s now) she hates peas. She said she would have to sit there for hours until she ate all the peas.

@jca2 Do you cousin’s parents now regret it? My MIL now regrets forcing her daughter to eat.

I think it was more the father who was dominant in the household and he’s deceased now, @JLeslie. I am not sure what her mother thinks about it.

They would do that but once.

I love peas but I never bothered serving any because the kid’s dad told them they were rabbit poop spray painted green. To this day none of my kids will eat peas.
Obviously there are people who think if the.kid doesn’t eat all their peas or green beans they’ll waste away from malnutrition.

Nah. It’s a control thing.

Of course it is about control.
Children need to be controlled.
They must be ruled over with an iron fist.
Little shits.
Und sind sie nicht willig, so brauch ich Gewalt.

@ragingloli So Deutsch

Whip out the Gürtel!

Yes, very. I was “forced” to try just a small portion of everything in preschool. There were no consequences attached if I didn’t, but the expectation was enough for some gagging and a lot of anxiety. I remember having to eat shredded carrots, and they just got more and more in my mouth. I still don’t like them, though I love most vegetables now.

Fortunately, my parents didn’t do anything like this at home. They got other things wrong, but as a formerly picky eater who now has a joyful appreciation and (I think) healthy relationship to food, I’m very grateful for their patience.

The entire culture around making children eat is ridiculous to me. So much trauma. Just let them be, serve healthy meals, and they will learn to enjoy the variety.

I think telling kids how much to eat can also be detrimental for them. I had a great-uncle who was forced to always clear his plate. He lost all sense of how much his body needs, and gained so much weight he could no longer walk. I realize that’s correlation, not necessarily causation – but it’s very obvious that many adults eat far too much or way too little, and I wonder if that is partly due to all the pressure applied in childhood.

Very good point. Some parents wrap all kinds of emotion around food—mostly negative. As adults people keep trying to do it the “right” way.