How can I help my neighbor? Can you give me some advice on how I can help my neighbor in the situation that he is in?
My neighbor was talking to someone’s wife, and the wife told him that she is abused by her husband. My neighbor wanted to help her through her situation. My neighbor decided to tell a lot of people in our town that the wife’s husband is a woman beater. I live in a small town so word got around fast. He even attempted to persuade the wife to press charges against her husband. My neighbor spent his own money on a lawyer, but the wife never showed up to court. Now there are some people that think my neighbor is a lair. How can I help my neighbor? I live in US by the way.
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10 Answers
Are you living somewhere in Asia?
I live in the US by the way.
The neighbor should have minded his own business, as you should lest you get in trouble, too.
@somechick4321 right… It’s just that your story sounds suspiciously like something that could happen in a conservative Asian town.
Give their name and address to a women’s protection organization, such as WEAVE, and also provide a donation to help others.
What he did was dangerous. He could have gotten that woman killed.
Stay out of it.
This is how gossip spreads and become nasty. You can’t be sure what the wife said to your neighbour and you can’t be sure what his motives are in spreading the word that her husband is a wife beater. As everyone else has said your neighbour should keep out of it and it would be a mistake to get involved by helping him. That is what the police are for.
Domestic violence is complicated. The neighbor shouldn’t have told people. Why would you ask how to help him instead of the woman?
Offer safety and a place to stay, then let her decide to stay or leave.
I stayed until I was abused in front of other people, which humiliated me enough to be done. No one could have made me until I was done trying to fix him. Its tough.
What the neighbor should have done was talk to her (the abused wife) about going to a DV shelter. Gossiping about it to the entire town was stupid and nasty. Now if people think he’s a liar, that’s his problem. I wouldn’t be sympathetic to him.
As others have said, I’d advise that you stay out of it. Like @flutherother said…You can’t be sure what the wife said to your neighbour and you can’t be sure what his motives are in spreading the word that her husband is a wife beater.
Unfortunately, and I hate to even say this, there are also women who will say things for attention, or to play the victim so someone wants to rescue them, or due to psychological problems.
I hope the neighbor didn’t make her situation worse for her, but things could possibly go bad for you if you get involved.
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