Do you want negative or positive comments from anyone about your Qs & As to be in PM?

…I can’t imagine a comment or a question etc., about any of my questions or answers (no matter how negative), that I want posted in a private space. I want it all in the open. Is there anything wrong with that?

I want all comments related to the thread in the thread. I have had people harass me in PMs because they don’t like what I say in a thread, and that is all it is, harassment. If you can’t say it on the open thread, don’t say it.

The only exception would be from a nice person who wants to tell me that I have an awful typo or something.

you have an awful typo @canidmajor. :)

@Dutchess_III Not any more! :-)

By the way there is a please give reason/s in the detail.
My reason is that no one can misquote anyone, or no one can write “I was misquoted” etc.

Yes, positive and negative.

There is just no reason to put in in a private space for me, even if to let someone know, or get informed of a typo. If it is about the content of a question or an answer then I can’t see why it needs to be said in private,

Gossip I prefer to hear in a PM.
Remarks concerning answer(s) to (a) question(s) in the thread(s).

Compliments are public, corrections are private. Basic etiquette.

“When correcting an adult or child in public, the person remembers the embarrassment they felt more than the “correct answer” to what they were corrected for.”

Some people choose to be corrected in public.

@flo I’ve had a few PM’s about your questions and phrasing, but in future, instead of explaining myself, I will tell them to post openly so you can get honest feedback. :)

Many people get offended when you correct them in public.

I like positive stuff in my PM’s. No need to make negative comments when I can just not get any “Great Answers” lurve.

How about just don’t be a dick? If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

@KNOWITALL See I have to search for those PMs. How does one do that? On a thread, if you want to reread verify something no problem you just search the question where someone said x y z and there you are. That,s another reason.

@kritiper This is about negative comments more than positive, since who doesn’t like to be praised in public, I guess. Do you prefer negative comments in private or in public?

@Stache But there’s just helpful negative and completely jerky or whatever else one calls it, negative. Either way I like it in public.

…Although ideally there would be none of the jerky kind at all anywhere.

@flo I like to be polite and kind, that’s how I was raised, so I prefer PM’s.
If someone chooses to not use good manners with me, I’ll reciprocate in kind.

I will be curious to see how you feel in a year, if you start getting personal comments in open forum about your questions or verbiage. I suppose we shall see.

To search in PM’s you simply pull up the other person’s account and hit message. Your previous messages will appear in order, but you cannot search them.

@KNOWITALL When I’m in your page, I hit Message and I see all your recent exchanges with other people.

@KNOWITALL You can hold me to it forever by the way not just a year. This I know for sure.

You can only see exchanges between Jellies in messages if they choose to make them public. It defaults to private, tho, and you can’t see those.

@flo Yes, it’s the sender’s choice to be private or public, but on my part they are almost always private. I’m a bit careful with random’s on the internet, my friends are different.

Like @Dutchess for instance, we’ve met, we have a relationship based on a decade of fluthering and we’re in states that border each other. So my conversations with her are not up for public perusal, on my part anyway. If she chooses to put it out there publicly, that’s her choice, but I’d hope she’d let me know.

@KNOWITALL All hitting Message does is take me to the message box,it doesn’t do anything else.

@flo You have to act like you’re sending me a message, on my profile. Then you can see the messages you’ve sent to me. Make sense?

@KNOWITALL 1) Ok, so there has been a miscommunication then. I was not referring to any personal exchange. My typo etc. are not at all personal to me.
2)Even if we bring up politeness, kindness and manners, (as in your post) that doesn’t change anything for me, I still want it all in the open.

@KNOWITALL I see, I thought all I have to do is hit message. Ok, thanks.

@flo Good luck.

If I make a post public of course I’d let the recipient know! That’s just good manners.
One exception is if I congratulated them on 5 or 10K.

@KNOWITALL Have you read my post before last?

@flo Yes, I did.

You mean sanitized for my protection? Hmmm… no. Keep it real.

Posting any question in a public forum invites all kinds of responses, good and bad. It’s part of public discourse, on the interwebs and in real life. I’m a big girl and I know the rules.

I think honest disagreement can add depth to a discussion as long as there’s some rational basis for it. And even when a reply may be off base, others who comment will call it out and bring things back in line. At it’s best the process is self-correcting.

Actually though, most of the time no one bothers to PM me with their thoughts on anything. I mean…nothing. Maybe everyone is secretly disgusted with my questions & comments. Maybe they’re flooding the mods with complaints. They could be planning to hunt me down & carry out an intervention.

But if that’s what’s going on please don’t PM me. I love surprises.

@JLoon Yes. esp. your
’‘I think honest disagreement can add depth to a discussion as long as there’s some rational basis for it. And even when a reply may be off base, others who comment will call it out and bring things back in line. At it’s best the process is self-correcting,’’* I mean that’s supposed to be the whole feature of a Q&A etc. sites

@KNOWITALL Please see the latest OP in Meta (regarding the ’‘Message’’ tab in PM,

For me it depends on the type of criticism. If it’s a correction of spelling, I’d rather not hear it at all, it’s going to be too late to correct it.

If it’s political in nature, I don’t want to hear that either. You (whoever, not you specifically, @flo ) can’t change my political opinion any more than I can change yours.

But if you have actual facts that I don’t know about, which prove my answer wrong, I’d like to hear those and I would prefer that they are in the thread. It’s important that incorrect information is corrected in a place where other people can see it.

I have replaced the second letter of the alphaedet (it is not working )with d

It would include for me , moderators saying anything adout my questions or answers. I can see the ones related to spelling errors not deing in the thread though since it would de doring There is nothing personal aout the Qs&As

@downtide I can’t see myself ever wanting to PM anyone aout political stuff. for example. I just post a question or just continue posting on the thread, not necessarily addressing anyone just aout the topic.
If I happen to know person x or y or z prefers to e PMed adout spelling, grammar kind of thing I guess I would PM them dut it’s highly unlikely, and other people who are way way too focused on spelling rather than content prodadly would have deaten me to it.

@flo….bang the crap out of your “b” key. Something is stuck in there. Or pop it off and look.

@flo If you are complaining about moderators PMing you about your questions or answers, that is their job. That is the way the site is structured so there is no point in complaining about it.

Wanting everyone to learn everything there is to learn sooner than later, at the same time is what anyone would want, if they want to end the pandemic etc.

@janbb So, your answer to the OP is that you want negative comments from anyone (even if there is nothing personal about the topic) in private.

@flo…. You ARE the OP. “OP” is short for “Original Poster.”

@flo I have no idea how you got that from anything I wrote. I find it practically impossible to understand how your mind works most of the time so I will stop engaging on this “OP.”