For you personally, what do you consider to be too much touching/getting touched?

These days, even a handshake is too much.
Though you are free to shove your hand down my secondary esophagus.

I try not to touch another person, unless necessary. Perhaps it’s from years of diversity training from work, where they taught us that another person may be physically or emotionally sensitive to it. After all, do you know what’s happening on in their life?

The two that I desire to avoid are: 1. Being petted. Please do not run your hand repeatedly down my arm or back as if I’m a pet. 2. Kissing me on the lips. That is reserved for my SO only.

Not for health reasons but for invading my personal space. Pretty much any touching by a male does that.
Glad I don’t have to deal so much with that any more.

Pre-COVID, I was a big hugger. I appreciate hugs. Any other kind of touching I don’t like — except from my wife. Even then, if I’m tired or hot, I’m like “getawayfromme…”

I’m comfortable with all touch from friends and family, definately a hugger, but strangers not all.
Except my face, that is off limits. Too many cheek-grabbing church ladies in my youth, I suppose.

A male coworker used to do the neck rub, without permission, and we had a conversation after the second time. Good guy but hard pass.

I do not like being touched by a dude. I was groped in the buttocks by a guy and I hated it. Women touching me is usually ok, but they run the risk of sending me the wrong single.

I do not like being touched at all. So any touching is too much. Every new job I have ever had, all 3, I have made it clear within the first week that I don’t like to be touched. Most people have honored this quirk. I did have a visiting doctor at our hospital try to hug me. I knocked his glasses off.

Never been much of a touchy feely huggee type person. I do fist bumps now days in lieu of a hand shake, other wise keep out of my space. Please. Of course that doesn’t extend to my wife or grand children.

Your question is a good one however it makes me sad. Every word you said is correct about physical contact. I grew up in a different time. I’m Itallian, we kissed all the time. I have always been one who will touch someone’s arm when talking to the person or sharing a laugh. It’s, too me, showing “I’m listening,” “I’m here”,” I’m with you.”. I never thought life would be like it is today. Are we afraid of each other? Or I we simply afraid. I don’t understand.

I’m more of a receiver of touch than a giver. That is, with strangers I won’t do more than a handshake and with friends, I will hug them but even then I’m rarely the one to initiate the hug (in addition to the high-five or fist bump). But from friends and family I am comfortable with a lot. Growing up I was very small and that seemed to make people want to touch me more lol. I had a friend in middle and high school who used to like to pick me up. I never minded any of that. Just as long as it’s not inappropriate (i.e. unwanted sexual touching, which I have experienced, mostly at parties and bars when I was in college).

I’m a male who worked in several hospitals dominated by women for 38 years. I never intentionally touched any female coworker or nurse. There was quit a bit of touching while dealing with patients. Also I never said anything of a sexual nature including sexual innuendos or flirting. I wanted to keep my job so I had to endure all of that from female coworkers and nurses including un wanted touching and kissing. Some women were experts at sexual innuendos. I just pretended not to understand. They probably thought I was a nerd. HA!

@gondwanalon I hear ya bud. Some women think it is only men who do that, but some females can be just as bad. And when you’re caught off guard it can be a bad scene, when you get home and have lipstick on your collar. And you’re guilty until proven innocent.

I think there might be a bit of a double standard here. Of course women don’t like being pawed by men, I get it. And men are much more guilty of that than women, I get that too. But my issue is that some women think we are all horndogs who want to jump in the bed with any woman who comes down the pike, and that you should be thrilled to death if they make advances toward you. Uh, no. And if they take it on themselves to be the aggressor, somehow we’re supposed to get all hot and bothered and carry them off to our man cave. If you object in any way, you are either a grouch ass of gay. No I am neither. Just keep your hands to yourself please. I respect you, I expect the same in return. I’ve known some ladies in the past who just can’t seem to grasp that concept.

In my family touch was, and still is, another kind of communication. I learned to appreciate it when words failed to carry enough of the joy or sadness in the moment. But outside family and intimate friends we all have & need some kind of boundaries.

So what are mine? I’m female, and not ugly so I accept that sometimes men (and women) will make physical contact either consciously or unconciously as a way bonding or difusing tension. I’m also a girljock who grew up playing sports and got used to all the body language & rituals that go along with it. So I’m okay with touching hands, pats on the back, high fives, an occaisional hand on my shoulder, etc. It just doesn’t bother me if it’s brief and fits the mood & context. BUT – frankly speaking I’m also a sexual person who enjoys intamacy with people I’m attracted to and trust. And I don’t think that makes me a slut, it makes me an adult.

Really that’s my standard: Treat me like an adult, and like a human being. I’m not a toy. Respect that I’m not always feeling what you feel. I’m flattered when people notice my hair but it’s not public property. When in doubt ask. Just ask.

And be nice. It’s almost a quaint attitude lately, but it matters a lot.

And just one more thing. When women are harassed they need to call it to someone’s attention, ASAP. Unfortunately, the longer they wait to report it, the harder it will be form some people to accept. Or to take action on. When I worked in safety at the hospital years ago, a woman came to me and reported an unwanted situation from one of the Security guys. I went to the Security Chief the next morning, and told him about it. He told me there was nothing he could do, because the guy in question had been fired for another issue several months previously. I told the lady I had tried to take action, but since the guy was no longer employed, it was out of my hands. She should have reported it when it happened. We tried hard to provide a safe and issue free environment for all of our staff, but we were not mind readers. And I never had a crystal ball I could gaze into when something like that happened. People need to COMMUNICATE.

This question stirs a lot of emotion in me.

I grew up in a culture where people are taught to be vary of anyone outside of our family. I was never taught how to hug or kiss. I grow up being awkward about it. On one hand I desire physical intimacy, on the other hand when I receive it I feel like I want to shove that person away from me.

That is also a reason why I felt really awkward around foreigners at one points. They were just too friendly to me. They made me feel extremely uncomfortable with their friendliness. But when I looked at my fellow countrymen I felt isolated.

I don’t even know what I want anymore.

I don’t touch others very often just the occasional hug with those closest to me. A hug conveys a lot of emotion but I find it becomes awkward if prolonged. Holding hands is nice and intimate but again it feels awkward to me after a while. The only exception was holding hands with my children when they were young. I never felt awkward then.

@Mimishu Aw big virtual hug.

@KNOWITALL Thank you. Virtual hug can be a good introduction to me :)

Generally, I like being hugged as a greeting and also a touch on the arm when talking with a friend but am being less touchy during the pandemic. I like holdings hand with a lover as long as it feels natural. I don’t want someone hanging on me all the time though or people I don’t know touching me or giving me neck rubs. A friend’s boyfriend once leaned in to kiss me and it landed on my lips – that creeped me out.

(((Hugs!))) @Mimishu1995

@Mimishu1995 I’ll just do a fist bump with ya, and we’ll both be comfortable. : )

How ‘bout a foot shake instead? :D

That’s kinky. Foot fetish, much?

I like hugs from friends and family. Bear hugs more than very tentative ones, but all are good. I’m also okay with hands on shoulders or my arms. Strangers should not touch me, and I like that we’re done with handshakes for now.

I seem to want a high amount of touch from my husband. I think we touch a lot, but it rarely seems enough. Maybe it’s because we do a lot of hugs and kisses, but not so much prolonged touching (back rubs, leaning in on the couch, or cuddling to fall asleep). That type is really important to me because it allows me to fully relax, but life is busy and our schedules don’t match up well right now.

Now I want a hug, and I will go get one.

Well it’s ok from a spouse, I mean what the hell. If you can’t love on each other what is the point? But strangers or acquaintances, nada. More so in this day and age, of Covid this and
Covid that, and then the Me Too movement. But my wife and I have even been known to drink after each other. I don’t worry about her germs. If wants she to do me in, she can pull a burning bed or Lizzy Borden number on me.

Dude. It’s like a tap with the foot.
We’re not talking Nickelodeon here. :P

With friends and family, we normally kiss each other hello and goodbye, and/or a hug. Not all friends do I hug or kiss hello and goodbye, but some that I don’t see too often, yes.

Now with the pandemic, that’s the same with most but I have one friend who I know is not into it (because of the pandemic) so we don’t do it.

I’m fine any time with handshakes for strangers.

My boss was elected to her job so it was not uncommon for me to kiss other officials hello. That ended after the shutdown, but before that, it was standard with the hello for it to be accompanied by a kiss on the cheek for some.

When standing for photos with people, in my personal life and at work, it is not uncommon for us to put our hands on each other’s waists.

For @chyna and @Mimishu1995, whom I lurve, but don’t like being touched IRL — ((VIRTUAL BEAR HUG))

Don’t like it unless we are super close. Only person I’m that comfy with is my boyfriend.

Has nothing to do with COVID just a general hatred of people. It scares the hell out of me too when I’m not expecting it

@raum

“How ‘bout a foot shake instead? :D”

That’s how soccer players greet each other when they’re holding their balls. ;-D

It’s also how dancers greet when they’re holding their Disco ball trophies.

When I was younger, I would cringe when someone hugged me. Even friends.

I also used to have a ton of guy friends and hitting each other was kind of the norm.

As I’ve gotten older, my sensory issues have mellowed and I’m down with hugs from certain people.

I also try to refrain from punching people in the arm. Apparently adults aren’t supposed to do that. :P

@Brian1946 Ha!

@snowberry @Nomore_lockout @cookieman I’m sorry if I appear unfriendly. It’s just that I’m just not familiar with physical contact. I appreciate all the hugs you can give me :)

You’re not unfriendly, just cautious and practical minded. As you should be. Fist bump is all good. : )

@Mimishu1995: I would never describe you as unfriendly, despite the tommy gun. ;^)

You be you.

Better not..she might make you an offer you can’t refuse..que Godfather theme.