If dogs were able to author stories, what would your pet write about you?

Treats and snacks.

She tries. She nice. Sometimes she mean and I have to figure out why.

My puppers died earlier this year but she would have said that she had me wrapped around her paw.
“When mum yells at me, I run to my kennel and give her the sad eyes. Mum feels bad and gives me a snakk for yelling. I not allowed on couch. As soon as mum leaves, I get on the couch. She don’t know.”

My old dog would write about how obvious it was that I wanted and needed a girlfriend!
I wouldn’t need to read THAT.

My older Maltese would write a memoir about how she is the most beautiful creature in the land and so much smarter than everyone else. She would devote a chapter to the general wonderfulness of all Maltese. She would also spend time bemoaning the tragic turn her otherwise charmed life took when she was forced to have a “sister” — something called a ‘Doodle’.

The Doodle, for her book, would write it all in crayon. In fact, it would be a coloring book all about hugs, nose kisses, and (of course) her amazing sister, whom she worships.

I love her, but I hate everybody else. In fact, I think I’ll bite them all.

“He always came home looking worried. No one else greeted him at the door, and tried to make him feel better. That was my job.”

I had forgotten everything, but once as I slept in my basket with my nose protruding carelessly over the edge of heaven, I smelt his scent drift up from the world and I remembered.

“My human doesn’t know me yet, even more so, I think I am not even born yet.
In a couple of years we will meet (he’ll look for me) and we will be all together (probably his girlfriend too, and god forbid, that ginger creature that (thinks he) is the Prince of the household).
They already love me, I feel that.
I’ll love them! ”

I did so good and behaved when the kids were here the other day. I LOVES kids. I especially like the one who gives me threats just for wagging my tail. He also makes a trail of treats like Hanzel and Gretel (I am well read doggo.) He also hides treats like Easter Eggs. I like him a LOT. But I didn’t jump on him, or the other kids, and take them down, which is my idea of fun. MOM actually gave me one lousy treat for that.

Here human, come back human, best dog gone codger in the West! Sung to the tune of “Old Yeller” theme. After they make a film out of his popular novel, “Old Codger”

When we go to our house where Dad is breaking things up, Mom blocks my ears when Dad starts sawing with a power saw.

Great answer to all. I just want to say that I loved reading all of your doggo stories. Gave me warm fuzzies in my heart. >}8^)

I wanna lick her face. Why won’t she let me lick her face? She only gives me her forehead. Fml