If a loved one that doesn’t live with you refuses to get a vaccine, do you avoid them?

I would tell my brother I’m concerned and suggest getting an antibody test. It’s not an extremely accurate way of evaluating immunity, but if his number is zero, he might think twice about interacting with the grandkids. If his number is very high, it might help you feel better.

I would tell my father to not come close to anyone that (he knows) is unvaccinated.
The parents of the grandchildren should, in my opinion, be aware of their father’s high risk.
There must be multiple other options for the kids to go around and about.

Delta is Covid, just a mutated form.

Around here: Don’t get vaccinated, don’t get to be around family.

Your neices/nephews should make the kids get vaccinated today. I blame the parents; tell them that if their kids don’t get vaxxed the entire family will shun them. They would feel much worse if they kill one of the grandparents.

I would avoid them like the PLAGUE!

@rebbel I didn’t catch that the first time I read through. I don’t understand why the OP wrote covid OR Delta. Delta is the C19 variant currently circulating in the highest numbers in the US.

Oops, yeah I meant Covid and its variants, Delta.

Not family, because they are all vaccinated, but friends — yes. We have two close friends who, along with their children, refuse to get vaccinated. We are avoiding them currently.

This puts your brother in a terrible position, as the grandkids parents could, in a huff, deny him any visitation. I am so sorry he has to go through this. I think, however, for the sake of his FIL he needs to stop doing these things.

And really, I know what you meant by “Covid or Delta”. “Covid” referring to the original strain, and “Delta” referring to the Delta Variant.

It’s tough but I’d take precautions like masking and making the kids decontaminate. Has anyone sat the kids down and explained why the vaccines are needed and the risk to your brother, etc.. ?

Keeping grandparents away is not something I will ever recommend though. Most would literally die for those kids willingly anyway.

A loved one? I would see them, but I’d be masked up.

@KNOWITALL Literally die maybe, but most likely in a scenario where there’s (almost) no way out.
Here it’s different; the ignorance of the child(ren) and grandchildren is putting the grandpa in potential mortal danger.
This is a scenario that can very simple and for no costs be avoided.
Grandpa doesn’t need to give up his life.
Literally or otherwise.

A friend of mine wouldn’t let her son come home from college before vaccinations were available. Everyone has their own level of caution they take. I just think we can’t decide for someone else, so I don’t recommend compulsively reminding family That you think they are making a bad decision. I don’t think the OP is doing that.

I have an acquaintance who is writing letters to her DIL telling her she should get vaccinated and the DIL has told her to stop, but she is looking for more ways to convince the DIL. I think she needs to stop. I suggested the antibody test to her too. I told her to ask her son to suggest it to his wife. Her situation is the DIL had COVID and believes she is immune. I think there is a good chance she is.

@chyna I assumed you knew Delta was covid, that’s why I wasn’t understanding how you worded it. Just a typo as I thought. Some people where I live suddenly are way more nervous again because of Delta, so I wasn’t sure if your concern is heightened with the Delta variant now circulating.

You are correct, I am more worried about the Delta variation at this time. My best friend that is a visiting nurse in Florida who is vaccinated just told me she tested positive and will be quarantined for 2 weeks. So far it’s a mild case, but she is there all alone and I worry about her.
I know, worrying about all the people I love won’t help them.

@chyna I’m aware of a lot of breakthrough cases here. I don’t feel like we have accurate data for it. Hopefully, your friend is better in a short time.

Well, if your brother is vaccinated, his chances of dying from Covid are reduced.

@rebbel All I’m saying is after 1.5 years of Covid, not seeing family still is not an option for many people. Mental health is just as important as physical.
Hopefully they can be convinced.

Well I’m vaccinated, plus I had it in Feb of 2020, so I just hope it keeps me safe.
Neither my son nor his wife are vaccinated. However they had a serious family medical emergency so we were over there every day last week.
I still wear a mask in public.

My aunt and cousin along with her children were supposed to visit my parents today from out of state on the way to their vacation. My cousin only has 1 shot (as a teacher it was required for her job), so my parents politely uninvited them.

It is OK to say no to unvaccinated folks. If they don’t want to take the risk of vaccine harm, we don’t want to take the risk of them bringing Covid.

I am avoiding my anti-vax nephew. He is an over the top conspiracy nut and I do not want to be around him.
There’s no point discussing anything with a sack of rocks.

Yes. My husband’s uncle is a flighty, fickle guy who believes everything that Joseph Mercola says and writes. Uncle has been convinced that the vaccine will result in debilitating, perhaps fatal, outcomes.

This man isn’t invited to do anything with my husband’s extended family. Last month, there was a birthday party for his own sister, whom he loves deeply, and he was told that he couldn’t attend. Yet, he’s fine with his choices.

My sister’s husband refuses to get vaccinated. My sister not only has Crohn’s but is pre-cancer. I still go visit her because I love her and want to see her. I am never that physically close to him.

@anniereborn: His decision feels like abuse given his knowledge of her diagnosis.

@cookieman I agree. The man is an ass. None of us like him. We haven’t for a long time.

If they were really a loved one, I’d get close enough to affectionately kick their ass.

But then I’d keep my distance – And let them know exactly why.

All except medically frail person in our family are vaccinated. I avoid her as much as possible.

Many people responded that the brother (grandpa) shouldn’t see the kids or that the family shouldn’t be allowed to see the kids. The OP stated that the grandpa loves his kids and won’t stop seeing them. The issue here, then, is what to do about grandpa wanting to see his grandkids.

It’s not clear from the OP whether or not grandpa is vaccinated.

My suggestion is to work on the kids’ parents to encourage them to encourage the kids to get vaccinated. Assuming the kids are under 18, the decision to vaccinate them is the parents’ decision, not the kids’ decision.

I would avoid the grandchildren until school is out and have them tested when they have Christmas break. Even if the parents get vaccinated there is still a chance of them getting the variant and passing it along to someone vaccinated because the Covid vaccine isn’t foolproof and even less helpful against the variant. Those at high risk can still get it. My father-in-law just got released from the hospital. He caught Delta and is still pretty sick at home. He was vaccinated. I’m sure without the shot he would’ve been dead but he is at high risk. Recent cancer survivor and 92 years old. My mother-in-law also caught it and remained sick at home. She didn’t get the high fever he got. So the vaccine seemed to help her better but she’s 82 and not as frail. Testing is pretty easy to get now. So the best thing is for them to be tested and practice safety measures when he is with them. Keeping distance and may just have them visit him outside on the porch with them both wearing masks and keeping their distance. And when doing indoor visits have them tested if they are going to be spending the night or go maskless indoors for family events if they don’t have time to quarantine before the visit.

News Story today:

Americans are creating their own vaccine mandates by cutting ties with the unvaccinated

Weston Blasi – MarketWatch

Americans are creating their own COVID-19 vaccine mandates. According to new data from The Harris Poll, at least 30% of Millennials or Gen Zers in the U.S. say they have cut ties with a friend, family member or acquaintance because they wouldn’t get the COVID-19 vaccine.

Stay Away!

I’m worried about them, but I’m still going to visit. I’m still going to hug them and take my mask off, because it’s been absolutely forever, and I need some family love, regardless.

I use the opportunity to connect and try and understand them, and let them know they are heard. I also pepper them with good reasons to get the shot.

At this point in the ordeal, I feel like what I miss by keeping my family away, outweighs the actual risk of contracting and spreading the virus.

It feels like we have a second pandemic that’s been going on longer. Loneliness is everywhere and it makes people irrational, sick and depressed. Keeping my tribe together is an important part of surviving this, and the shit to come.

Good points @Smashley.

IMHO, I side on being vigilant again on this variant and others to come.

While it is terribly difficult to open your safe pod up to others when you are vaccinated, you still can be a carrier.

I would come at this from a point of caring and empathy towards that person that is unvaccinated. They can have their own reasons to why they are not vaccinated so all you can do is hope they eventually do the right thing based on the science.

Huh. So love is conditional? You can’t love someone and express that love unless they do something you think they should? Interesting.

Hahaha, @seawulf575, how black-and-white you are! “Conditional” when referring to the the very real danger of @chyna’s brother potentially infecting and killing his badly compromised FIL?
Oh, wait, my bad. You don’t believe in the science of all this so you think the danger doesn’t really exist. I forgot that for a second.

My type of love is “conditional” when I refuse to let a drunk loved one drive.

@canidmajor Thank you. I was trying to figure out how to word my reply to seawulf, but you seem to have covered it very well.

Someone I know had a still born baby in her 8th month. Neither she nor her husband got vaccinated. They both got covid. She went into premature labor 4 days later.
They induced labor and she gave birth.

@seawulf575 As I stated in the question, the FIL is very high risk. He’s on dialysis and is suffering from Alzheimer’s. My brother has half responsibility for his care. Not that it matters, but FIL is not related to the grandkids. I didn’t want to get into all of it, but SIL is very upset over this, thus the reason for my question as to how people would handle this. And my brother’s kids have the vaccine, it’s the grandkids who don’t because of peer pressure.
Your comparison to a couple living together is a totally different situation. But I don’t want to argue, I wanted to know how other people would handle this.

@Dutchess_III That is so heart breaking.

Yes it is.
Stuart told me a neonatal nurse told him there has been a surge in preterm babies. The neonatal units are full.

@Dutchess_III Very sad. In Orlando doctors said they delivered some babies prematurely because the mother was in ICU. The babies were ok I think. I’m not sure if the national news picked it up. I have no idea if the mothers did ok or not.

She was not in the ICU. She was not hospitalized for Covid.

@Dutchess_III I wasn’t assuming she was, I was just adding more pregnancy covid stories.

If you brother is eligible to have the jab then I have to say that he is being very foolish if he does not have it and he should not take notice of others. It is his health and life and those of his relations and friends he should be considering.

The vaccine is not there simply to protect him it is also there to protect his loved ones, family and friends.

No matter how young he is if he catches the virus it is an terrible illness and it is always possible that he could die. The virus is not pleasant and irrespective of dying from it the virus itself is particularly nasty and the suffering is often immense.

If your brother picked up the grand child he MUST isolate and keep away from both the children and especially your brothers father. their health is as equally as important as your own.

I do not agree with any of you, stop telling people they must get the vaccine. Some of us that had COVID last year and were hospitalized and survived now have an immunity. But the not so reliable WHO has been all over the place on this. I still suffer from shortness of breath, memory issues & some loss of taste and some doctors do not recommend getting the shots while other demand everyone get it. The science community is not in agreement with this despite what you hear on the tv.

If you personally do not want contact with people it’s ok.

Get the vaccine @BobM.

@BobM There have been some reports of long haul symptoms going away after the vaccination. I don’t see why that would happen, but I personally know two people and Selma Hayek stated the same for herself. Might all be coincidence, but still interesting.

Studies are showing one shot after having covid is enough initially. That would be like a booster.

If I were you I’d get an antibody test periodically to see if your immunity is holding up.

I’m not a doctor.

I had Covid in Feb of 2020.
I tested for antibodies a year later. It was negative.