My unvaccinated uncle just passed from Covid today. Do you have any advice for supporting my mother?

I understand the concerns that your mother had in warning her relatives, but she had warned them and now its up to them to decide to vaccinate or bear the consequences.

She has done her part and perhaps at your Uncles Funeral it will become personal enough to persuade them emotionally to consider it.

All she can do is to state that she loves them regardless of their choices.

Condolances to the family, take care.

@Inspired_2write It’s my Mom’s brother that passed (not my dad). But I think that’s good advice. I don’t think she’s planning on going to Idaho for the funeral. Thank you for your kind response.

“I know this loss is devastating for her, and I’m not sure how to support her other than just listening and telling her how much I love her.”

I think you are doing the best you can for her. Being a caring loving son and listening to her are probably what she needs.

I’m very sorry for her and your loss. Perhaps the death of your uncle will wake the others up?

@gorillapaws
Just my perspective, glad that it helped in some small way. Your welcome.
I corrected my original post to reflect Uncle rather than Father.

It should shock some of them into getting the vaccine.

Just keep supporting yourself the way you have been.

One of the local Funeral Homes has videos of the service on their Facebook page. See if that is something that could be done for you and your mother (also others that can’t travel).

@Tropical_Willie That’s a great suggestion. I think they’re planning on having a zoom session for people who are out of town.

@gorillapaws, I am so sorry for your family’s loss, and the prospect of more. I think what you are doing is good, just be there with her, for her. Maybe share loving or humorous stories of him.
I really hope the others are spared.

I hope they are too. Please let us know if they have a change of heart.

[Mod says] Please don’t argue about the efficacy of the COVID vaccine on this thread. There’s plenty of space for that, but this question is about loss.

My aunt (the nurse) is now guilt-tripping my mother for not wanting to fly to Idaho for the funeral. She just sent my mom a Bible verse about not having fear if you believe in God/Jesus. My mom is devastated, but refuses to get on a plane right now (which my sister, my father and I all 100% agree with). She and my father are vaccinated, but my father is high risk for multiple reasons, and it doesn’t make sense to roll the dice.

I’m on the verge of calling my aunt and telling her to back-the-fuck-off. I love my aunt, but what she’s doing is (unintentionally) cruel. I’m worried that if I do make the phone call, I could hurt the family, but I’d rather my aunt be mad at me than have her continue to hurt my mother.

@gorillapaws I am glad your immediate family are all of a mind, that will be at least a small comfort to your mother.

You could rent a car and drive your mom to the funeral. If your mom is close with her siblings, it’s going to create far more problems in the long run if she doesn’t go to the funeral.

It sounds like you are doing everything possible. I completely agree that being available to listen to your mom is probably the best thing you can do.

As far as your aunt guilt tripping your mom for not flying out for the funeral, for real she should shut the fuck up! The chutzpah and ignorance is beyond belief! Are you sure she is guilting your mom? Or, could it be your aunt is just telling your mom all of the funeral information and your mom interprets it as pressure? Just being the devils advocate for a second in case possibly it’s a miscommunication. Only because it’s sad to see a family torn apart, especially when it’s family members interpreting intentions incorrectly.

I’d probably stifle myself for now and not say anything to your aunt unless she really is harassing your mom excessively. Your mom can tell her sister to stop it.

I hate to say they could all wind up with covid traveling to the funeral and being together. They obviously don’t take covid seriously enough and even if your mom went they will likely verbally scold her or give her looks if she wants to wear a mask or distance.