Does or should the man have a say, or responsibility, in carrying a fetus to term?

To a certain extent, yes. Then it’s on to The Maury Povich Show to determine who the real father is.

Generally it’s the woman’s choice legally to abort or not here in the US. Although some states like Tennessee are starting to move ahead on father’s rights.

If she has the child instead of aborting, most states now automatically sue the father for support, if the mother receives any support from the child from the state such as food stamps.

Also, if they were unmarried, even after blood tests or child support determination, the father still must pay an attorney to sue for custody or even visitation in many cases.

As far as my opinion on whether a ‘father’ should have any say in abortion itself, I’ve heard horrible stories from men and women both on that. Some men I’ve known cry like children when their girlfriends aborted against their will. Some like my own ‘father’ threatened my mother to abort or ‘else’.

Ultimately no.

A “say” as to whether or not she carries to term? No. Responsibility is a trickier Q. He can attempt to opt out of responsibility (financial and otherwise), if mutually acceptable contracts are drawn up, but such contracts, although considered by the courts, are not necessarily binding. If the court decides whether it is in the best interests of the child for the father to pay support or be involved, then he is obligated.

Should? Yes.

Reality: No. Because the woman is the one carrying the kid.

This has always been a sticky question. Yeah, we’ve all heard that it’s a woman’s body so its her choice. But if the baby is born, it’s suddenly the man’s responsibility for support, even without parental rights.
The way I see it is that both the man and the woman were present at time of conception so they both have responsibility. Therefore they both should have rights concerning the baby, even before it is born. What if the woman didn’t want the baby but the man did? Why not have the baby and let the man raise it? But that choice is not currently available to the man since it is the woman’s choice….period. Yes, that would require them actually knowing who the father is. Yes, that would require them actually talking about it. Yes, that would require them to act like adults.
If they can’t come to some conclusive answer to the issue, then the woman should get to choose. Or there could be a mediator type set up to decide the situation.

“Why not have the baby and let the man raise it?”
– Because of the pregnancy and birth process, which involve only the woman’s body, and her possible death or ever severe health and other impacts on her.

This, and the demonstrated selfish ignorance and apathy and denial and/or ill will of far too many men towards the women who carry their children, all indicate that it should be the woman’s sole choice.

And because I’m pretty sure you, and so many other old white men, vote with this entitled, patriarchal, mindset (”Yes that would require them actually knowing who the father is. Yes, that would require them actually talking about it. Yes, that would require them to act like adults.” @seawulf575, this is why we have issues like this.

The majority of women do not behave like stupid, ignorant children, and just how sad is it that you think so.

Agree with @Zaki and @canidmajor
The problem lies mainly with the kind of thinking that @seawulf demonstrates here. Too bad the world is not as black and white as it is to him.

@canidmajor I find it interesting you thought I was only talking about women. There were both a man and a woman present when the baby was born. They both made bad choices, they both showed irresponsibility, and generally, they both acted like stupid ignorant children. How does that fit into your narrow man-hating viewpoint?

@seawulf575 “That would require them actually knowing who the father is.” Sounds sexist and blaming the woman for sleeping around.

”There were both a man and a woman present when the baby was born. They both made bad choices, they both showed irresponsibility, and generally, they both acted like stupid ignorant children.”
This entire scenario that you describe, @seawulf575, is mentioned nowhere in the question or details.
No mention of the birth of a baby, no mention of bad choices, no mention of irresponsibility. Are you even on the correct question?

Huh. Does or should the man have a say or responsibility in carrying a fetus to term? “to term” implies birth of the baby. Responsibility could also hint at irresponsibility. Yep, I’m on the right question! What question are you on, since you disdain from discussing the actual finer points of this one?

My answer to the OP is that each situation is so different that there is no point trying to make a general rule. In cases where there is an ongoing relationship of caring, the man often will offer some help or take responsibility. In cases of one night stands or possible abusive relationships, it’s probably best to have nothing to do with the man even if he does bear responsibility. There is no one size that fits every situation and it should be a woman’s right to choose.

Just as a PS, I had a friend who adopted a baby in a private adoption from a woman in Texas. When the baby was 5 months old, the mother of the father, that is the grandmother of the baby, sued for custody and won. I’m not saying it’s wrong or right but it was heartbreaking for my friend.

Big difference between does and should. Two different questions.
Beyond that, why not?