How much should I tell or not tell a prospective landlord?

My gut reaction is to tell the truth. I would explain the entire situation from being newly widowed to needing a place to sort out the truly necessary possessions. I would also be upfront about the time frame. Some landlords don’t mind short term renters, and some will absolutely rule you out immediately.

Before I did any of that, I would put this question to your realtor. They will be the best to advise you. They may also know a rental that will fit your needs.

Make sure they know your son maybe living there when you are not.

Be truthful !

After telling your story I’d be surprised if the landlord didn’t pay you to stay there. :-)
Tell the truth. It won’t hurt your chances a bit.

I hope you are moving to my area!

After further thought, I would like to add this seems an expensive way to determine what you really want to keep and what you can live without.

I know the task likely seems overwhelming since there are 50 years worth of accumulated possessions in such a large house. Culling through it must be a daunting idea.

Would it be possible to imagine a smaller living area in your present house? Move into only that area to see how it feels. You will have only those items you sensibly need, but the other things are close at hand should you discover an unknown need for an item.

If you do indeed move back East, the movers only need to take the items in the used rooms. Everything left behind would be taken care of by your realtor.

Renting is very expensive. It could cost you close to $20,000 for 6 months, including the moving expense, which you would have to pay again to make the final move.

It’s food for thought.

I think it’s best to be honest. I’ve rented many times and been the landlord.

If you just need a lease for 6 months they will already know it’s likely temporary. I would check if they will go month to month when the lease is up. Sometimes month to month they raise the rent $100—$300 a month, depending on your market and you would still need to give notice of your intention before the original lease is up. This will give you some flexibility for unforeseen circumstances.

Thanks for all comments so far. Very helpful.

Just to be clear, I’m not considering lying. But I don’t necessarily have to tell everything either. I don’t have to volunteer. I’m really asking if I should avoid mentioning any of those points unless I’m asked a direct question.

I don’t even know what a prospective landlord or agent is allowed to ask. The last time I rented an apartment was 1974, in Cambridge.

@Hawaii_Jake, it’s good to know some landlords don’t mind short-termers. I did ask my realtor. He says he sells houses and doesn’t have anything to do with rentals.

As for the matter of space to sort things, it’s worse than you think. If I could free up a section of my house to do this within my own walls, I wouldn’t be in such a spot. The puzzle really has no empty sixteenth square to slide the tiles into.

What I thought of earlier was moving keepers into a rented storage space, but that is the opposite of allowing me to try out living with a subset of what I’ve got. I’d be putting away everything I need to use. A temporary apartment lets me rehearse an actual living situation and correct mistakes I can’t fix at 3000 miles’ distance.

It’s about problem-solving with do-overs and not just storage space. Best idea I’ve come up with so far, and yes, it would be expensive, but I am trying to minimize regrets, and that’s worth something.

@Tropical_Willie, why should I make sure they know my son might be living there when I am not? What if I don’t?

@LuckyGuy, thanks, that was nice. I’m pretty well set on the Boston area, South Shore, which is where I grew up. From one South Bay to another.

@JLeslie, thanks for your warnings. I never would have thought of someone’s raising the rent month by month. What do you mean by “This will give you some flexibility for unforeseen circumstances.”? What will?

Be honest but don’t tell the landlord any more than they need to know. As long as you pay your rent on time, keep the place in order and don’t make too much noise, they should be content. If for, example, you say that you will only be staying a short time, they may be slow to make any necessary repairs.

@Jeruba Unforeseen, meaning if you need to extend the lease. If the landlord says he doesn’t do month to month then that might be a negative for you. Most landlords will do month to month, but that would mean he also could kick you out with short notice. I don’t know your state’s laws. Maybe 30 days notice when renting month to month.

The only time month to month has been a problem in Florida is when it’s a furnished rental and a landlord wants a tenant out for peak season.

Also, don’t think it has to be a 6 month lease or a year lease. Lease’s can be made for 5 months, 7 months, etc.

Another consideration, if you wind up needing a shorter stay than you are anticipating you could stay at a hotel like Residence Inn that has a full kitchen. If that’s a possibility I’ll tell you more about it.

@Jeruba You need to let the landlord know your son might be there, when you are not there. The landlord needs to know who is living there.

“Limits on guest stays. It’s common for landlords to limit overnight guests, such as allowing a guest for no more than ten days in any six-month period, with written approval required for longer stays. Landlords do this to keep long-term guests from gaining the status of full-fledged tenants who have not been screened or approved and who have not signed the lease or rental agreement.” – - – https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/renters-rights-book/chapter2-4.html

Your son may need to be approved by landlord. He may be required to sign the lease.

@Jeruba Then it’s the perfect idea. It’s an excellent solution to a quandary. One thing you might ask your realtor for is a referral to a realtor who deals in rentals. I mention this, because realtors often know landlords and would act as an advocate for you. I’m sure you’re capable of that. I’m only suggesting it if you think it would be helpful and not add more stress.

Again, thanks for such helpful replies and for reading all my words. Shrunken though it may be, Fluther still has a lot of strength and community resources, and I still value it a lot.

@omtatsat, that would be the right solution for some, but I have no desire to be a landlord or bear the responsibilities of being a landlord. I’m not even entirely sure I want to be a homeowner in my later years, but it beats having an unexpected rent increase or getting kicked out.

@LostInParadise, good point. I looked at a place today, and the landlord said if I wanted a shorter-term lease, the rent would have to be higher. These are things I’ve literally never had to think about.

@JLeslie, a Residence Inn is a good suggestion for an in-between period. In a pinch I could make do with a modest little hotel fridge and microwave, but there’s also all the stuff to store. I think I’ll save that problem for later.

@Tropical_Willie, oh, I see. I’ll have to think about how to couch that. I did tell the property owner I spoke to today that my son might stay with me part of the time, and he said fine, no problem, but I didn’t speak about his being there without me.

@Hawaii_Jake, that’s a good idea too. Thanks.

Thank you all.

Before I make a decision, I’m trying to raise all the considerations I can think of and keep the nasty surprises to a minimum. All around.

Characters on a quest usually know what the goal is and where they are right now, and then they have to figure out the next step, keeping direction in mind and dealing with obstacles as they come. They don’t necessarily have to figure out all the next steps in advance. But they do have helpers. What quest doesn’t involve helpers? You guys are guides on my quest.

Now if I just had a few magic potions and spells from Hogwarts and a pair of ruby slippers. And Samwise Gamgee.

One comment about Residence Inn it’s a standard refrigerator. It’s a full kitchen. I’ll hold any other comments if you actually consider it. Here’s some photos of the kitchens. https://www.marriott.com/search/hotelGalleryView.mi?propertyId=SJCPT&brandCode=RI&marshaCode=SJCPT

It’s kind of a weird thought, but the truth is that I haven’t really been alone in big-decision-making since 1969, when I was young enough to think I knew what I was doing and there was nothing that complicated about it. No wonder I’m a bit stiff and awkward at it now.

^^I’m glad I’m not the only one.

@Jeruba

“I have no desire to be a landlord or bear the responsibilities of being a landlord.”

ITA. Being a cross-country landlord seems like it would be such a PITA.

ITA? PITA?

@Hawaii_Jake

I was just goofing around with ambiguous but commonly used acronyms, which I admit can be annoying AF. ;-)

ITA=I Totally Agree
PITA=Pain In The Ass

Something to consider, for the sorting process, is to rent one of those shipping container pods instead of renting another home. Drop it on your driveway.
As you sort through stuff you can put keepers in the pod and throw everything else out.
When you have gone through all your stuff, the keepers are all in the pod and you’re ready to move wherever.

@dabbler That’s a good idea. I was thinking of another strategy. Rent a storage closet in a facility and put in it the stuff you don’t think you want but might. If you miss something during the six months of sorting, take it out and move it. But if you don’t miss it, junk it.

However, if part of the idea is to try out living in a smaller place as well, the short term rental is a good idea.

Do they do a police check ( records ) when you rent a place in USA

@omtatsat The owner decides whether they want to run a credit check or background check (police). Not all landlords do it.