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Whiskey's avatar

I am friends with someone who is nice to me but my friend group doesn't like them?

Asked by Whiskey (12points) November 8th, 2021

I am in high school and my friend group has recently kicked out a member(I’ll refer to them as z) because they think z is too problematic for them. The problem that is z has recently gotten closer with me and is kind and calm with me and I would feel way too bad and guilty to leave her for the others, she also doesn’t have friends outside of our group, but I fear if I stay with z my group might hate me. I don’t want to lose either of them, but I don’t know how to resolve this. What should I do?

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8 Answers

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

It’s difficult to give you thoughts, because we don’t know the details about why the group ostracized Z. We don’t know if they acted unfairly.

You have a very delicate balancing act to attempt. I wish you luck.

filmfann's avatar

It isn’t easy to maintain2 friend groups in school, but it can be done.

Jeruba's avatar

I would be loyal to the one who acts like a friend to me, and not to the ones who cast people out. Assuming, as @Hawaii_Jake says, that they didn’t have real cause for it.

What if you stuck to Z, and other people who admired your friendship were interested in joining you? Then you would have a new friend group.

raum's avatar

You wrote that Z is kind and calm with you.

Does that mean that Z is not kind or calm with your friend group?

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Do your own thinking, don’t follow the crowd. The crowd is often full of crap as a holiday turkey.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

Your friends are people you trust and whose opinions you respect. Have you asked yourself why your circle of friends has so vehemently rejected Z? You might also consider why Z has no friends except for you.

If Z is truly as kind and good as you’ve written, continue your relationship with her. You’ll just need to keep that friendship separate and apart from your friend group.

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