Why do people not answer the question asked?

Once in a while we all miss a bit (I did recently on a noodle Q, I was ignorant of the nature of a lot of noodles) but I know what you mean. It makes me nuts. “Question specific about Face Book use” always gets a couple of “I don’t use Face Book” posts. I always flag when I can, but it’s very frustrating.

People? My best friend is a people. I’m glad to know him and wouldn’t want him to be anything other than a people. Maybe if he were a dog, I could pet him and hug him more. It really disturbs me that so many people don’t like other people. They should be tarred and feathered.

I used to have a dog but he bit people so I had to give him away. His name was Frodo Baggins. I have a car that I named Bilbo Buggins.

I don’t really like cooking, either ~

I saw a comment once among a bunch of certifiably smart people, calling them “hard of reading.” I think it had to do with an inability to follow simple directions (like how to sign, fold, and mail their club ballot). The idea was that they thought they were too smart to have to read the directions—and then “If I can’t do it, it must be really hard.” Not if they’d read the directions.

I think we have a number of jellies who are so eager to be there fast with a know-it-all answer that they rush past the details (as well as the posts above theirs). This really annoys some of the rest of us.

Then we have the ones who, whether fast or slow, simply can’t be bothered to take in extra words. Maybe those are folks who are keen to have an audience rather than to be an audience.

And there’s always the one who has to find fault with the question or take issue with the premise. I’d like them to just SKIP the question if it doesn’t apply to them or if they have nothing to offer. It’s not as if every polling-type question actually requires an answer from everyone. No one regards our comments as a statistical sampling. And we’re not in a private face-to-face conversation where some response is a matter of social obligation.

Those jellies will even answer a question with screening language up front:
“Parents, do you…?”   “I’m not a parent.”
“If you’ve had a broken arm, did you…?”   “I’ve never had a broken arm.”
“When you were dating in high school…”   “I didn’t date in high school.”

I also think some people treat the “Just for You” section as meaning they’re expected to answer. Then we see “I don’t know why this question was directed to me. I have never set my shoes on fire in the oven.”

Sad to say, @chyna, there have been various attempts over time to cure this exasperating habit. You probably remember some of them. I don’t think it’s going away. Your target audience probably won’t read the details here, or will think they don’t apply to them. It’s a lot like trying to herd jellyfish. As usual, we will just put up with it for the sake of congeniality, even if we simply have to growl now and then.

Although it’s not a social website, it does have social aspects to it and so it’s hard to control how people answer. I tend to enjoy when conversations here take a meandering path, which is why I almost always post questions in Social and not General. Sometimes it’s amusing, sometimes I learn something I hadn’t intended, sometimes it’s annoying, but it is Fluther and I roll with it.

I’m probably a little guilty of this and I apologize. Something in the question or answers will trigger a memory or thought and sometimes I feel I just have to share it because it’s funny or interesting, and it’s usually related in some way to the Q or A’s. Trust me, I’ve written or begun plenty of posts that I’ve ended up simply deleting. And I answered only 1 of my 3 ‘just for you’ questions, mostly because I figured they were a mistake. ;)

btw, I love reading some of the stories/comments that may be a little off-topic.

I think it behooves the OP to put ‘serious answers only’ or something specific-which seems to work fairly well.
Otherwise you just look like a dick for being rude.

@KNOWITALL that’s why questions are often put into general.

And frankly, the examples that @chyna and @Jeruba cite shouldn’t need more explanation.

@Jeruba Then we have the ones who, whether fast or slow, simply can’t be bothered to take in extra words. Maybe those are folks who are keen to have an audience rather than to be an audience.

If you check out their profile, you will notice that some of the people like that are spammers, or at least someone with a product/service wanting to share with the world. They either try to sound like legitimate users to avoid the big Sea King or simply want people to notice their existence, and subsequently click on their profiles. As a result, they don’t pay much attention to the question past the surface or they simply don’t know what to say but they just have to say something because… you know, that precious engagement point. Their goal is simply to get to to notice them, and they also have the pressure of posting as much as possible. That’s why their answers are almost always so low-quality, whether they are answering the question or not.

From my observation, they are the one who are the most responsible for the kind of lackluster answers this question is pointing out. Currently I notice at least one user who follows this pattern. They claim to be some kind of artist/writer/something, and have a bunch of links on their profile for different products/services. And sure enough, their answers are one sentence long on average.

So yeah, you cab say those people are more interested in having an audience, literally.

*get you to, not get to to
* can, not cab

@smudges I enjoy stories/comments that may be off-topic but can actually add something to the conversation too. And don’t feel bad, at least you are making an effort to contribute to the conversation ;)

I think this question is referring more to those people who don’t put any efforts into their posts, like the on-sentence-long posters I mention up there.

I know many people with ADHD on a 10 word sentence that love to hijack a conversation. Narcissism is a real thing. If one can’t answer their question, isn’t it a good conversation opener to ask about Betty’s late husbands affair?
John love to hear himself talk about his pet clownfish that recently had a gender change.
Can’t we just all hold hands and sing Kumbaya

When it’s a subject that interests someone a flood of things comes to mind and sometimes the root of the question is misunderstood or simply overshadowed. (I’m certainly guilty there) Something else to consider is that many straightforward answers are very matter of fact and boring. By nature personal opinions and small divergences are more flavorful when we can all just google. When you see opinions of people who for example answer a question about kids but preface “I don’t have kids but…” that does not necessarily mean they don’t have something meaningful to say. When they really don’t have anything to offer it’s often good for the rest of us to see the contrast.

@Blackwater_Park: I love when someone says “I am not a teacher but…” or “I haven’t been to the Grand Canyon but my sister did and she said…..” and I don’t think that people that answer like that should be ashamed or asked not to respond.

Serious thought here—————> Can you imagine a fluther where every single person simply and literally just answered the question? How boring would that be? I know I wouldn’t stick around for long. Imagine….

Q: “Have you ever spilled the freshly roasted Thanksgiving turkey on the floor?”
A: “Yes.”

Q: “How many file drawers of papers do you have?”
A: “Two.”

Q: “Daycare workers and elementary school teachers, how are the young kids doing with mask mandates?”
A: “Pretty good.”

Just sayin’.

@jca2 My take in General is that if people specify they only want answers from certain categories like teachers or parents in their OP or details, I respect that and don’t answer if it doesn’t apply to me. There aren’t that many questions even in General that get that granular but some do.

@smudges I don’t think anyone was suggesting that.

But I do agree that you put it out there and you get what you get. However, if I am asking a specific question to a specific audience, I will flag off-topic or derailing posts.

@janbb I usually respect that, too, but just because someone doesn’t meet the category that the OP asks for doesn’t mean that they don’t have relevant information to answer the question.

@jca2 There’s a big difference between relevant information without experience and wild speculation with no insight whatsoever. Example type: “My dog is displaying these behaviors, what can I do?” Answer #1:”I don’t have dogs, but my bf consulted a trainer and that helped” beats the hell out of #2: “I’ve never been around dogs but I have tropical fish and they’ve never done that.”

Personally, I’m just fine with thread drift in Social. It’s part of the fun of Fluther. It used to be that just about any thread was going to wind up being about food. What I don’t like is responses that basically disrespect the OP and the question, especially in General.

Sure, it’s fair to say we don’t agree with a premise. If someone asked “When that invisible unicorn is in the room, what does its breath smell like?” we might well question the premise. But we don’t actually have to say anything. What’s the point? We can just move on.

But to take our own assumptions and biases and insist on pasting them on top of the OP’s assumptions and biases and then criticize the OP because they don’t match—what is the use of that?

Reading the details does seem to be a key, in any case. A lot of people don’t seem to do that. Doing so would make things nicer all the way around.

Unlike other Q&A message boards, Fluther closely resembles face-to-face conversations.

If you’re speaking with a friend or acquaintance and ask, “What’s your favorite type of tea?,” the person might reply, “I don’t like tea.” Fluther’s such a small, cozy community where people are comfortable with each other, I think Jellies often respond in similar manners. The replies might look odd or seem unhelpful when posted, but I’ve always believed that’s the reason.

It’s fun how Fluther threads can meander all over the universe, often departing far from the original question. Again, that’s how IRL conversations will wander.

@Love_my_doggie: Here’s another example that piggybacks on what you described. Someone says what’s your favorite type of tea? A response might be “I don’t like tea but I do like ______” and then it takes the path of “what is that” and “where do you get it” or “what does it taste like?” or “my grandfather is from Argentina and that’s what they drink there.” That’s how we learn about each other and learn about different things that maybe we wouldn’t have heard of otherwise.

Charming assessments, but isn’t that why we have a General and a Social section? And it is not really like an IRL convo, no one interrupts and you can take as much time as you need to edit and change and clarify.
Social can be the student union with people strewn around at different tables, casually conversing on different subjects. It’s just a little weird to wander over and change a subject from what’s already being discussed, but, yeah, okay, we get that people do it.
But General is more like a subject specific seminar, where it’s just rude, distracting, and a waste of time, to try and interject off-topic comments into the conversation.

My guess would be that if anything in General is considered off topic, either the mods would delete it or the OP or others could flag it for mods’ consideration. Other than that, like I said above, social media is hard to control how people answer. I know there are some question and answer sites where the answers have to be very rigidly in accordance with the question.

I think I know the question you’re talking about.

It wasn’t about me, but I answered it.

Questions that aren’t about me are usually boring, so I said something about myself to make it more interesting.

I once cooked a turkey for a guy who rode a unicorn. His breath smelled like tea, but he wouldn’t date me so I broke his arm. Then I had sex with his parents to get over him.

They didn’t care that I was a narcissist because I’m a good listener. You have to pay attention when people have questions. Especially when they’re asking about me.

I hope this helps.

You’re welcome.