So. I'm still alive, and would love to try to answer any questions about my absence. If there's anyone,who is curious, about what I have experienced...

I don’t have questions, but I hope this is something you will recover from. It just sucks hugely to be very sick. <<<hugs>>>

<<hugs.>> Thanks.

Yes, please tell us what’s been going on with you. You’ve been absent for a while, I noticed. Are you getting better?

Glad to hear you are still alive. If you have a tale to tell I would like to hear it. I admit to being curious.

I’ve been wondering at your absence too. If you’d care to share, I’d like to hear.

I’m so sorry that you are ill. I have wondered where you’ve been. Hugs!

Just read the details from @KNOWITALL’s post, so I won’t make you repeat it — but I’m sorry to hear you are so ill and have been in and out of the hospital a lot, with some serious issue.

I hope everything comes through for you. Fingers wet much crossed.

My question is, do you have some good folks around you, IRL, for support? I hope so.

((HUGS))

So very sorry to read this, Grimmy! I hope you’re slowly on the mend and will get the transplant you need!

I’m really glad you’re alive. :D

So.
Around a year ago, I experienced the lives of people and animals very close to me. I had to euthanize my dog (16 years old,) whom I felt was the closest thing to a daughter that had. She She and I, were the only to survive 3 separate floods by hurricanes, which subsequently made me lose everything and become temporarily homeless.

And then people started dying. Young and old. People who I had known for years. People I loved. Something around six, or more people in what felt were in their prime health, or better. Including a suicide. Not the first young person I know, to have taken their own lives.

Killing my daughter, my feelings about how that happened. Hard to explain… Anyway. The emotional loses overcame my ability to cope. And I started drinking, heavily. Just as I was starting a new career , the pandemic landed me unemployed, and wondering the streets of my newly rented house’s neighborhood fueled by alcohol many nights. I found myself in some bad, dark places. Fought attempted muggers, cried myself to sleep, where I buried my daughter, in a local park. As quarantine set in. I drank more, and more.I was so frustrated and tired, that I drank myself into an ER, where I was diagnosed with end stage liver disease… In February, I was given 4–6 days to live, unless I changed my lifestyle, and talked to some people.
I spoke with three women, who had something to do with social services.
The next few weeks, were a blur, and included detox.( I have not touched alcohol in a year, or so…)

I then was aware I had broken many bones, both hands, broken ribs,and a multitude of injuries, from fighting people in the streets, and wondering around all night.
The last year or so, I have spent long periods of time in the ICU.
My grandmother died several months ago, and we were not able to see her, because of the pandemic. Around the same time, my friend’s 17 year old daughter was killed with three other young girls, in a violent car accident. The only thing left of her. was her head, one arm.

Anyways. Turns out, those 3 women I talked to with social services, decided to make it possible for me to get on an organ transplant list…

That’s about where I am now…
I am not ashamed of myself, so much, as being genuine. Largely because I hope that my story will potentially help someone else.

@cookieman . I do have a capable support group.

I am deeply sorry to hear about your mountainous losses and so sad that you are so sick. I’m glad you’re sober and wish you continued success at that. (I’ve been sober 22 years.) I pray you get the transplant very quickly.

In Hawaiian, we say, “Malama pono.” The words come from the heart and mean take good care.

Welcome back, unquestionably. May your life be more peaceful now.

I was just thinking over the weekend that I hadn’t seen your name in ages.

@MrGrimm888 Wow, congrats on sobriety, that’s amazing!!

I’m so glad you’re still with us, @MrGrimm888. I was asking about you months ago. Nobody knew.

You may not remember me because I only joined in July of last year, but I remember you, and when I saw your name under the awards on the right side, I thought, “MrGrimm is back! Where can I post that?!”

I’m so sorry to hear of the reasons for your absence and can commiserate on many of them. I’m so proud for you regarding your sobriety and can only imagine the hell you put yourself through to get there. I have 13 years, myself.

I’m not making light with this quote, just hoping for a smile. Stay close. You’re loved.

“Some days are like trying to fold fitted sheets…”― Nanette L. Avery

I missed you!!!! I hope you are okay right now!

Thanks for all the love and well wishes. I’m sorry for losing it…
@smudges . Good to hear. I don’t think I’ll ever drink again (if I survive this.)
It’s definitely been terrible way to slowly die, that defies my ability to articulate.
It’s also been a long journey. I have learned a lot.I came to a realization. I wasn’t afraid of dying, I was afraid of living.

When the lights came back on, I was made aware of all of my concerned loved ones still alive.
I now know that I have to survive or I’m just part of our collective problems. My behavior was not part of the healing process we all have been trying to cope with.

I picked up a staphylococcus infection in my blood recently. That was defeated, as I was released from the hospital a couple days ago.
I put a lot of miles on my body, and I still have a long, unlikely recovery ahead. Sad, but true, I have done this to myself…

I only now can see the errors of my ways. If anyone needs to talk to someone, PM me, or bring it up to my attention. Mental health, depression, whatever, you ALL have a friend in me. No subject, is off limits, and I am very hard to offend….

Peace and love.
Grimm down, but not out…

Grimmy, I wish I could fashion you a happy life soup right now. All I can do is hope for the best and send good vibrations across the winds to you.

Many have been curious. Several people have contacted us with questions about you, and I’m very (very!) glad you’re back. Congratulations on getting sober, that’s an impressive achievement. I’m sorry you’re still suffering from losing your girl, though it’s understandable. I do have a question: are you getting psychological support for all the loss?

Sending you a hug. Life will get easier some day. Just continue to let yourself heal, okay?

@MrGrimm888 Thank you for reaching out to us. I have no questions to ask, just good wishes to send.

@MrGrimm888 You remind us that life is never guaranteed and what we have can be taken from us at any moment. Over the years a few of us have slipped away and will not return. You teetered on the very edge of life and then fought your way back. You are therefore a warning but also an inspiration.

I hope you find the peace you are looking for and you have my best wishes for the future.

Hi, Grimm! I consider you one of my Fluther brothers. You’ve been there for me numerous times and have always had my back. I’m very appreciative. I’m sorry to hear about your struggles. Please know you can reach out to me if you need an ear. <3

^Good to be back. Thanks again, for all the support.

@MrGrimm888 No reason to feel ashamed. We all have our issues and inner demons. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar. I admire you for being so frank and honest with people who, essentially, are strangers. You have more balls than I do, if I had been through all of that, I would more than likely put a gun to my head. Kudos, and I sincerely hope that things get better for you.

@MrGrimm888 Hey! It is so good to see you!
I had no idea you were being dealt such a crap hand. I thought you had just grown tired of the place and moved on.
Every time I saw weather happening in your area I thought of you and how you were doing with flooding and power issues.
Thanks for letting us know you are (sort of) ok.

How can we help?

^Hello old friend.
The crap hand, was my deal.

Your companionship and counsel, are all the help I need.
Thank you.

@Nomore_lockout . I fear nobody’s opinion, nor death. This thread was meant to help others perhaps, as well as inform my fellow jellies of my absence.

My heart and best wishes to you. Life can really fuck you up. I hope you are soon on the mend.

I have been so worried about you!
Do you need a liver, or has that been resolved for you?

I have a laundry list of medical issues myself, but I’m pretty sure my liver is good to go.

^Yes Patty. I need a new liver. But you keep yours. You need it. Trust me.

I do suggest that anyone who can, donate blood. As often as possible. I personally have received many liters of who blood, and blood products…..
I’ll probably need much more, if I get a viable donor….

Damn, Grimm. Hopefully Life will decide it’s thrown enough shit at you for awhile and ease the fuck up. Our collective tentacles are crossed for you and getting a viable transplant.

Oh Grimm! I was late to see this, but I have been thinking about you for a while. I was worrying the worst had happened to you, and I’m so glad that you are still here with us. Please keep us informed about your condition.

^In short. I had given up on life. I basically tried to take my own life. But. Just as it seemed my fate was sealed, I regained the abilities to walk, see, and clearly think.
The pain, and madness I’ve subjected myself to, by slowly recovering, seems be working. I spend my days exceeding my physical therapy goals, and returning my body to it’s former level. I intend on battling to whatever end…

Stay tough grimmy, but if it comes down to a lack of options, don’t be too proud to ask. It is a big decision to make, but friends should not have that taken from them.

^<<hugs>>

Dang, I’m not in Meta very often so I missed this. I’m so sorry to hear what has happened but I’m glad your still here and crawling out of the hole you found yourself in. Coming to terms and making peace with everything and everyone possible seems to be what this whole life thing is about. I’m glad your in that place and not where you were earlier. I have been known to imbibe a little myself but reading this I think I’m just going to give it up entirely. I have seen people fall down the same slope and few saw it coming. Good luck, we are here for you if you need anything.

^Thanks.

Thank you for sharing this with us.

Any updates on the transplant?

^Still waiting for return to the transplant list,following a staphylococcus infection. I’m through that, and anxiously waiting for reevaluation by the medical team. Then hopefully, I will be allowed to return to the list…

Love @MrGrimm888.

^Thanks Dutch..

@MrGrimm88 Thanks for sharing. Stay strong and keep on keeping on! We’re all pulling for you!

This thread was in November and December of 2021. Any news on a transplant? And of course, we always want to know how you’re doing. 8^)

Yeah, how are you doing lately??

I was just thinking about Grimm and if he is ok

WHERE IS HE???

I DONT KNOW

MAYBE HE’LL READ THIS AND ANSWER!!! being too silly