If someone you work with organized an office holiday dinner at a restaurant, and the high cost was the reason you weren't attending, would you tell them it's due to the cost?

I would absolutely tell why, as nicely as I could, that my government paycheck (which is probably not extravagant to begin with) will be going to the holiday celebrations with my loved ones, not to see the people I see every day at that job.

I should have clarified it’s a large county with departmental offices in different cities, so employees from different cities would convene but don’t necessarily see each other on a daily basis – maybe they see each other only for meetings from the days of in person meetings.

I would tell the organizer, “Oh, sorry, but that’s a bit too much for me right now”.

Privately organized work parties end to run into these kinds of problems. Why isn’t the employer organizing something?

@zenvelo I’m not sure if the rule now with the pandemic is that large gatherings are not happening (like any large meetings). The department she works for has maybe 100 people, working in various locations around the County.

The union usually would be the organizer of a large, glamorous holiday party which is about 60 per person (subsidized by the union) and includes drinks, which is a great deal. That’s not happening this year and didn’t last year, either due to the pandemic. Over 500 would attend that one.

I think I would just say, “Sorry I won’t be able to make it this year.”

Yeah, I wouldn’t say the real reason either. I would just say I couldn’t make it and leave it at that. Due to the cost, there may be quite a few who won’t be able to make it.

The office party should be paid for by the company so I would go and not say anything.

I would flat out tell them. It doesn’t have to be about whether you can afford it or not. While the dollars and cents part are not an issue for me, I may not feel that shelling out that kind of money for this type of event is something I want to drop that amount on for a work function. If it were a family function, it might be different. I would still let them know if it was too crazy a cost.
On a similar topic I think the cost of restaurants is absurd and getting worse. I know this is about a gathering of people and an event, but I have troubles dropping large amounts of cash on meals I can make better at home myself. This was a dinner table conversation last night.
Recently some friends took me out for my Birthday at a place in the NYC area. I felt bad and was floored that a party of 4 dinner came to $700 including tip. I truly appreciated the time and gathering, but felt of touch of burden at the cost.

^You have good friends!

@chyna these are special friends that I would do anything for

I would tell them and wouldn’t go. Generally those are tedious unless you know eachother.

As @kritiper said, the company party should be fully paid by the employer. We get drink tickets for adult beverages, too, and the company handles the tip. Spouses are included, or a plus one.

What kind of cheap government entity is this? Geesh.

I would tell them, yes.
Not because they have any right to know, but to hint at them that they might want to consider the financial situation of everyone involved, before making plans like this.
Luckily, during our company dinners, the boss pays for everything.

I would not tell them the reason.
When I was doing my unpaid internship for teaching, the principal kind of got on me, saying the other girls wondered why I never went to lunch with them. WTH?
I just said “I don’t eat lunch,” which was true.
I’m also wondering why the county isn’t paying for it…?

I’d just make up an excuse, as in feeling under the weather, don’ t want to get everyone sick. Five years from now, they’ll never know the difference.

I would tell them in front of others if possible. It’s not even about being able to afford it….......It’s too much for an office dinner for an office of people whose salaries are varied. If it’s for the firm partners, fine.

I would tell them bluntly the cost was too much for that type of event.

Before Corona, when I was still having a job, I hardly ever attended these kind of get-together’s.
Even though they were paid for I didn’t go.
I saw these faces every day; it never made sense to me why I would add more shared time with them.
Did I already say that I suffered from social anxiety?
That didn’t help either.

I would not have any problem stating if it were too expensive for me (or, in other words, not feeling it’s worth it).

I don’t know why I wouldn’t just say frankly that it’s out of my price range.

I would be tempted to add “Why should I pay $100 to see you at dinner when I can see you every day for free?” (It’s only free in a manner of speaking, but it’s to make a point.) I probably wouldn’t, though.

In group events like this where you’re not moving around freely to socialize, how much you enjoy the event is going to be heavily affected by who sits next to you and across from you. If you get trapped at one end by the guy who swipes your lunches from the breakroom fridge and the woman who snaps gum in the cubicle next to you, it’s going to be a long lunch. “And I just paid $100 for that??”

It came to me as a blinding revelation one year late in my career that there are people who actually like these things and that’s why they plan them. The thought was stunning. They were always a form of torture to me.

I would absolutely tell them that I couldn’t afford it, and remind them that now is a very bad time to be holding any kind of party, due to the ongoing pandemic. The idea of being in a group of people, unmasked (for eating) for any length of time, to me, is unthinkable.

Also, I’ve never been “invited” to a holiday party thrown by my place of employment where I was expected to foot the bill. Those types of parties were always considered to be a bonus, or a gift from the company.

Sound like a great excuse not to go. I hated to go to work place parties even when they were for free.

Is she sure it doesn’t include tax and tip? That would be odd to me that tax and tip are not included for a per person party price.

I would probably say why, but I might present it as I think it’s a high price overall to ask people to pay for a dinner, not just that I can’t afford it this year. Actually, even if I could afford it, I just might not want to pay it, or be annoyed about paying such a high price.

I guess $70 isn’t crazy high if it is a three or four course meal at a nice place, including soft drinks (does it include soft drinks?) and tea and coffee, but probably way too much food for me to eat in one evening. I just prefer to choose a more moderate priced meal if it’s for a large group who have to pay for themselves.

This is why I never go out on New Years for planned menus with a single price. Always crazy expensive. I got stuck one time unexpectedly paying $125 each for a meal on a “special” night out, and we were really annoyed. We paid for my husband and I and my SIL, because we knew she didn’t have the money. None of us knew what the price was going to be. If we had known we would not have gone.

As a side note: I really like that they aren’t including alcohol in the price.

I would be honest.

Looking at the menu, I can see how they came up with the price. My friend re-read the flyer and it does include a glass of wine.

https://viagaribaldiny.com/

I still think it’s too much for a work holiday party and I wouldn’t be willing to attend. I probably wouldn’t say anything about the reason why I wasn’t attending.

In the city that the restaurant is located, there are a lot of very good restaurants that will work with you if you are having a catered event, and give you a good price package with great food.

Looks nice. On the link it didn’t say if it’s a four course meal? Is it (1) antipasto, (2) pasta, (3) main entree, and (4) dessert and soft drinks drinks and a glass of wine for $70?

Are people buying the tickets and complaining about the price behind closed doors?

From the menu it looks like it easily could have been done for $45—$50 per person no alcohol included if they really wanted to do it there.