What is the worst thing that ever happened to you?

I suppose it was my father’s death, though it made me get serious about the girl who became my wife.
Then there was going through the hell of going to court. I will not go into details here, but it was quite humbling. It also made me realize how much abuse I could take, which was necessary when I went to war with the worst boss in the world.
Breaking up with my first serious girlfriend was horrible, but in the end I began protecting myself from people who were abusive.
My Mom’s death was brutal too. I was executor of her estate, which I never wanted to be. I had to enforce what she wanted, and ignore what I wanted.

I suppose every horrible thing had some positive points. Maybe that’s a lesson worth learning.

Probably growing up with a mother who has a mental illness (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) but refuses treatment.

My father’s death at 62 from cancer and my cousin’s suicide at 50 were terrible too.

Pain wise, testicular torsion. It was absolutely excruciating.

The worst thing that has happened to me emotionally is when my best friend burglarized my house in order to pay for drugs. Fortunately he’s currently drug free after going to rehab. But the entire experience worsened my OCD and anxiety.

I have had many negative things occur in my life. When I look at them, there is however always something that came out of that time or wouldn’t have existed had it not occured.
While this is a bit like Candide and Pangloss, it carries me well past those negative things.

So many things. But at each and every one of them, I remember thinking that “this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me”, yet as each new horrible thing happened, it got worse.
My dad died 46 years ago this week. I thought my world would end.
I was divorced in 1999 and again thought my world would end.
My mom died and then a brother. Horrible times to go through.
Then in 2017 I got very sick to the point that as the ambulance was taking me away, I told my brother that I knew I was going to die that night.
But I’ve made it through all things knowing that these incidents are minor compared to what many others go through.

My wedding day. Not my marriage, which is happy and going strong after 30 years, but just the wedding.

I didn’t want it; I was trying so hard to form a relationship with my dreadful in-laws, I went through with it; I spent my entire life’s savings on that event; I was miserable throughout.

The worst thing of all is that I let this happen to myself. That’s why I’m still angry after all these years; I can’t forgive myself for having been willingly bullied into doing something that was so wrong for me.

Oh, and those in-laws? They spent decades telling anyone who’d listen that they’d paid for the wedding.

The last six years of my marriage and then the divorce. It was bad, and I’m still not over it.

For me there are a few things that come to mind. Some of these clouds had a silver lining in various ways.

I lived in a building that had a major fire (due to a tenant’s stupidity) and although only the top floor of the building, the entire building became inhabitable due to water damage from the fire fighting. I ended up at my parents’ house for a few months and then got a new apartment but dealing with all my stuff and tenants’ meetings and dealing with living with my parents again was rough.

I was in a terrible car accident and had major fractures to my anikle and tore ligaments in my foot. That resulted in a year of physical therapy and surgery. It taught me a lesson about what chronic pain does to people. I still experience pain to this day, although not as bad as at first.

When my daughter was one year old, I was in the hospital for almost a month with Guillain Barre Syndrome. I couldn’t walk at all, and received medical help and intensive inpatient physical therapy. I was very lucky my mom was alive and well and took care of my daughter.

My mom had breast cancer which metastasized and she died about five years ago. That was very traumatic to have to deal with, as a family member, and to watch her decline. I couldn’t imagine my life without my mother but we all go on.

I feel like life takes us on a meandering path, some things are planned, some are unplanned, some are good, some are bad, but we try to learn from everything and we just have to deal with it and go on.

I’d have to say my parents comments and actions.
My dad refusing visitation at age 12 was very difficult, as I couldn’t grow up with my half-siblings. Mom had thoughtfully prepared me to be kind and respectful with his wife and got me excited about meeting my sibs. So it was hard to process and hurtful.

When I was 30 (30!) I had an anaphylactic reaction to something and began to suffocate and slowly stop breathing. I eventually had a cardiac arrest and my heart stopped for 45 seconds while in the ambulance. I was fortunate it happened in the ambulance with EMTs who knew what they were doing. Thank you Dick and Audrey! Audrey said she knew she was doing a bad job since the rig was moving at high speed. She told me she could hear and feel the crunching in my chest as she worked and how it eventually stopped crunching.
The recovery from the CPR, curare, intubation and time on a ventilator are the stuff of bad dreams.

^^^ @LuckyGuy I’m guessing that you had to flip a coin to choose between that experience and your “you have cancer” diagnosis.

^ @Love_my_doggie You know me well. I did have to think about it. Even though I fully recovered with no side effects I still figure the cardiac arrest was worse.
I truly lucked out in both cases.

Lucky guy!

^^^ He’s a Lucky Guy indeed, and aren’t we lucky to have him in our lives.

Loss of a loved one

Being a codependent of my ex’s Borderline Personality Disorder. Seeing what it did to my kids and myself in short order.

My dog got old and I had to put him down.

Falling through the ice in a fast moving river, and almost drowning.

I had just learned vectors in physics class and it helped me to get out of the calamity. I finally had a use for science.

Basically I went directly to the shore, and aimed for a good spot further down the riverbank. It worked, and I survived. Thanks to all of my teachers.

Developing chronic pain that interfered with having sex with my husband when we were in our 20’s. It caused me daily misery for years, the pain was constant all day. It affected my fertility, and I had to deal with idiot doctors for years too. It’s by far the saddest thing in my life. I feel like I spent years not able to be me, and there are remnants of it still today years later.

My time in high school. I was totally alone. I had no friend. I was basically ostracized by my classmates, and even some teachers. Everyone thought I had mental problems. My classmates treated me as if I wasn’t there. I was always at the rear in every class photos, you could hardly find me. Everything I had to say was shot down because everyone thought my ideas were stupid.

And the worst thing is, no one understood what I was going through. Everyone either thought I was just complaining about nothing, or I deserved it. The only people closest to “friends” that I had were two abusive friends. One didn’t care about anything except her own problems and my money, and the other only kept me along because she wanted to look like a saint that helped “reform” a weirdo in front of her friends. I was forced to stick to them because otherwise I had no one else to depend on. At least they gave me attention.

It’s amazing I am still alive right now.

Probably having to call my parents at 18 years old to have them come bail me out of jail. It was nothing serious. We were caught with alcohol underage while camping. It certainly felt serious at the time though and it was a hard phone call to make.

I also used to be a serious hypochondriac. I would not wish that on anyone. The anxiety from it is crippling and for me it lasted a year. I think all the worry and fear circuits in my brain are completely burned out because I’m just not afraid of anything anymore.

Three things, all equally horrible and dealing with death. Probably the worst was when my wife’s dad passed away. He was elderly but she and her daddy were close and the way it happened was bad. He went in to insulin shock and her mom had found him under the bed the next morning. The funeral was bad too, my wife was incolsoleable and cried and cried. I almost started crying myself, but I was trying too hard to hold her and hug her and just muddle through. Runner up # 2, same type of deal but maybe worse. A female friends baby girl passed away not even six months old. Crib death. Had to appear at the funeral and be there for her, ditto the crying and trying my best to comfort her, to no avail. Runner up # three, same dang thing again. I was working the hospital one night when a female friend came through the E R and told me her teen son had passed. We knew the boy had brain cancer but I don’t think she knew how far it had spread. Not her fault, she got the best care for him she possibly could have. And once again, even though she had her mom and dad with her, she started sobbing in my arms and I just didn’t know what the hell to do, except hold her. I hate dealing with death and situations like that. I’d rather craok myself than ever deal with something like that again. Ever. I know that makes me sound like an uncaring ass, but I’m just no good at the consoling people business. My wife I had a duty to do it, the other episodes were just crappy luck and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Getting the call from my dad on the bridge right before he jumped.

@Blackwater_Park …hypochondriac. I would not wish that on anyone

Hypochondria is so misunderstood. People think the condition is a choice, the self-pitying decision of someone in need of attention, rather than the crippling mental illness that it truly is. I’m happy to know that you’re doing better now.

@Love_my_doggie It’s like just finding out you’re about to die and you never get over the initial shock. You can’t even get to denial, anger or acceptance.

Probably the combination of crippling tooth pain, mixed with no insurance, plus rural levels of dentist access. I spent months nursing that awful thing, unable to think about anything else.

My parents’ divorce is a close runner up, though its effects were more like a 20 year long slow motion car crash.

^Tooth pain has to be the worst.