Can Russia join N.A.T.O.?

That’s a terrible idea.
Russia would then have the ability to veto anything NATO wants to do.
Ukraine is a difficult issue, but we have to support them.
Back when the USSR was dissolved, we told Ukraine that we would protect them in the future if they surrendered their nuclear weapons. They did.

NATO was formed to guard against the USSR. Having Russia join is like using a fox to guard the henhouse.

No.

Because then it would be NATOR, and they’d have to redo all the uniforms, print new office letterhead, and come up another theme song.

Nobody’s got time for that.

Yes, why not? They could always get kicked out if they acted up.

If Russia wanted to cause trouble for NATO they can do it in the UN.