(NSFW) I walked in on him masturbating in the next room. He could have just asked me.. What do I do?

I’m confused by the problem here, he wanted to masturbate, so what? There is nothing wrong with that. maybe he just wasn’t in the mood for actual sex?

“We aren’t even fully dating yet because he will not make it official although I’ve brought it up multiple times and we act as though we are dating. That is another story, however.”

Sounds like you need to ditch this guy anyways, he is playing with your emotions. If he was into you like you are into him, it would already be official. And if he is never wanting sex from you maybe that’s also a sign to just leave this be.

Update: Well, I’m leaving out a lot of stuff.. He did blow up on me over little stuff like not doing things in his timing even when I was going as fast as I could, etc. It’s a lot to explain, but I think I just feel fed up because the behavior keeps being repeated. He does not seem to respect me and I was just a little hurt that he was masturbating while I was in the next room. He got upset that I sad I was too tired the other night. I can never say or suggest anything without him getting upset or taking it the wrong way no matter how nicely I phrase it.

I appreciate you trusting us with your situation. Thank you.

I’m sorry to say this young man sounds like he needs to mature some more. He sounds like he’s wrapped up with something inside his head and is not capable of giving you his undivided attention.

We don’t know the full details since we can only know what you tell us. From what’s written here, you could try to have a frank conversation with him to see if that might help.

Is he a Sagittarius?

Good luck.

@turtlebean yeah girl, leave him

This is about control. He’s trying to assert/establish dominance in the relationship. Best to get out quickly.

@gorillapaws Correct. But obviously OP is not going to realize that. She is going to stay and it’s only going to get worse from here.

@SergeantQueen I actually just ended it. Don’t act like you know anything about what anyone is going to do. Stay in your lane, stop being negative. Appreciate the feedback though! Have a great night

@turtlebean you came here for advice. If you supposedly left him, great. Stick to it. This dude is an asshole. 99% of women in your situation don’t leave.

Most guys don’t mature until mid 30’s to 40’s if ever. This is not speaking ill of men, but this is what research has shown.
To be honest, you both are young and should enjoy your youth without wrapping it up in a tight bow.
Enjoy life and if this relationship is not serving you, then move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

@turtlebean You come here asking for advice because you’re at a loss as to what you should do. Everyone who has taken time out of their day has been in YOUR situation somewhere along the way & had to deal with the consequences afterward. You asked for opinions & that’s exactly what you’re getting. You don’t like their opinion, that’s on you. I find it rude when you tell someone YOU asked to help Don’t act like you know anything about what anyone is going to do. Stay in your lane, stop being negative. when they are truly trying to help you get through a negative situation with the life lesson that they have already learned!!!

The guy involved here is trying to dump you & wants you to feel like it’s YOUR idea so he won’t have to deal with the drama of putting you out. He had another girl on his phone when he was masturbating. He was but it was with her not you. He’s ONLY going to respect you when you learn to respect yourself!!!

I don’t believe that you just broke it off with him, but that is exactly what you should do. Move on & find a guy that enjoys being with you & loves you just like you are. When you find the right guy, you won’t have to push him to “make it official” because he will want to let everyone know “it is official”..

I am seeing in other family relationships that those who start out controlling and demanding only get worse over time. I think it’s great that you ended the relationship and hope you stick to your resolve. You have time to find someone who will treat you better. Good luck!

This account is no longer open so I guess it no longer matters what any of us think

@SEKA: Not sure it mattered in the first place.

Just a lagoon full of sexy Jellies, trying to be helpful, but getting no respect, dammit.

Goooooo team! Person asks for help, offers intimate details, is written off, dismissively, retorts, gets piled on, quits. Yay.

^I don’t see it that way at all. OP was given advice on her question and the details she supplied. I don’t see that anyone was”piling “ on her.

I agree with @chyna. Read to me like she got some solid advice from multiple people.

And…not a single Jelly resorted to using phrases such as “snapping his carrot” or “waxing his dolphin”.

I think praise is in order for such levels of restraint.

Amen to the Cookie
The more she talked, the more I understood why he couldn’t make it official

People want you to be real until you say something real that they don’t like

Thanks for coming to a bunch of anonymous strangers for life instructions…..perhaps not the best plan.

The OP has left the building.

I obviously made some assumptions, which I shouldn’t have. I just think that in my mind, if she “knew” that she should leave him, she would have done so. Not posted a question asking for advice. It read to me as unsure and I felt it unlikely she would actually leave.

@SergeantQueen You did nothing wrong and gave her some excellent advice. Sadly, it was advice that she knows is correct but she doesn’t want to face. Sometimes the truth hurts

She didn’t break it off with him and will be whining about him for years to come. Had she taken your advice, she could have saved herself a lot of hearrache