If the law of your country allowed you to have 3 legal wives (max), would you practice this?
Hello,
I watched a drama last night and this question came to mind.
Let me expand my question a bit, you’re happily married to your wife and have kids. Then soon the government of your country announces that, the bill to allow 3 legal wives has been passed.
Would you consider bringing another wife, now that you’re allowed to or would you rather stay with your current partner?
I do not have any ill intention with this question, I just want to know how people would react to such situation!
Regards!
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47 Answers
Why only wives? Would it not make more sense to allow multiple spouses?
No I’ll keep who I have. Always been happy. Never really intended to be married anyway but it happened and it’s worked out well. And why can’t women have multiple hubbies in your scenario? Seems a bit sexist to me.
I’m not married, so just a guess, the average wife or any spouse would probably not be ok with this set up, so then you’d be looking at divorce or major strife from the first spouse.
If my husband wanted to he’d better be ready to “bye” to me. However, he worked too hard to get me to do that!
What a horrible idea.
The sex variety might be fun, but I cannot imagine how the three women would get along, and I think that the male (assuming the only one) would be having to deal with the neuroses of all three women – probably at the same time.
Three wives would be a chore. Some one of them would always be whining.
As a religious practice, it’s interesting to me, but for myself for fun, no thanks. Like @elbanditoroso way too much work/hassle just for sex.
Fuck no! I love my wife to death, but three!?!
And, it should “spouses”, to which my wife would also say “NO”.
Look back at the TV show Sister Wives—that man had more drama than he had fun. I guess that is unless he enjoyed drama. Even if each wife agreed to the arrangement, there’s bound to be a personality clash somewhere along the way. This guy ended up with 4 wives. Wife #1 got along with #2 and #3; however, she and #4 butted heads frequently. He didn’t care enough to consider the big picture of his family unit and it slowly died
The idea sounds very selfish to me and I don’t want to spend my life with a selfish man. Marriage is a partnership and one person selfishly fulfilling their own needs is not a partnership.
I have my hands full with just one!
@elbanditoroso Sounds like being married to you would be very unpleasant.
Right @canidmajor? There would have to be a reason he would choose neurotic whiners, and it can’t be a good one.
Actually, @Dutchess_III, I doubt he picks neurotic whiners, I bet being with him produces neurotic whiners.
My ex almost put me there. So much gaslighting. I GTFO.
I am a female, and unmarried. For me romantic relationships need to be confined to only the two initial people in the relationship. Adding other people into the mix causes pain, confusion, and unequal balances of power. Someone is inevitably bound to get hurt.
I wouldn’t.
No way would I want to cause my wife that much or that kind of pain.
I could see her bursting into tears if I expressed such a desire, which in turn would break my heart.
To us, it would be like legally sanctioned cheating.
I think that the OP isn’t asking us to put this in the context of today with today’s spouses and situations.
Rather, I think the questions pertains to an alternative world where 3-wife families are the norm and have been forever in that civilization.
That’s a hard one to speculate on because all of us come from this world and not an alternative one.
But think about this situation (I think there has been science fiction written about this) -
Imagine that there is some terrible virus or disease that kills half of the males in the world. Women are immune, but men are susceptible to it -and die at a 50% rate.
Do you thing that monogamy as we know it today would still be the norm? Or would the world move to multi-female per male society? My guess is Yes.
@elbanditoroso Rather, I think the questions pertains to an alternative world where 3-wife families are the norm and have been forever in that civilization.
That’s not what the OP is saying at all! Reread. Let me expand my question a bit, you’re happily married to your wife and have kids. Then soon the government of your country announces that, the bill to allow 3 legal wives has been passed.
And btw. . .but I cannot imagine how the three women would get along, and I think that the male (assuming the only one) would be having to deal with the neuroses of all three women – probably at the same time.
Three wives would be a chore. Some one of them would always be whining.
. . .is highly offensive, misogynistic, and sexist, and it appears a number of others have the same opinion. You’ve really surprised and disappointed me, elbanditoroso.
I don’t think this would be for me, but I have some close friends for whom it might be ideal. The four of them have been together and living in a single house for nearly two decades, but none of them want to get married because they don’t want to imply that any one of their partners is more important than the others.
I guess if I was already married and the law suddenly became that I could marry 2 more women, it would be much like the decision I had to marry again after I got divorced. Do I love the other women? Could I afford to support them? Would they be a good fit for my family? I won’t say I wouldn’t, but it would be something that I thought long and hard about before committing to that relationship.
If a woman wanted to have more than 1 husband she’d be called a slut.
@Dutchess_III only by some. If the law allowed extra spouses, I don’t see the problem.
I would be open to being a sister wife. I am not an option for sex, so nobody would have to be jealous of me, but I have things I could bring to a family willing to expand. I would be a strong asset for home schooling, for instance.
I would be scared to death. I can just imagine 3 copies of my current wife teaming up on me. Her, the daughter and that squad of her girlfriends have been rehearsal enough for that catastrophe.
An interesting take on the experience of participating in a plural marriage is The 19th Wife, a novel by David Ebershoff. I found the contemporary frame storyline unimpressive, but the close-up view of the sister-wives of Brigham Young in 19th-century Mormon country ought to give a vivid enough picture to shape your thinking about this question.
There were times in my marriage when I might have welcomed the chance to share wifehood with a ready second or third; but in the end I really did not want my husband’s loyalty divided.
I agree @jJeruba. It would have been nice sometimes.
No! I’m a Christian and we believe in only marrying one wife.
Absolutely not… I can’t imagine the amount of stress involved…
@KRD So if you weren’t a Christian, would you go through with it?
@KRD I’m not a Christian and I think having 1 wife is the best approach.
@Mimishu1995 I would still marry one wife even if I wasn’t christian I would still marry one wife.
@Dutchess_III I agree with you.
@KNOWITALL They may have allowed it back in the old testament but today christens only believe in marring one wife.
@KRD and why? If you weren’t a Christian and weren’t bound to religious teaching, what would be your reason not to do it?
It’s bad to mar more than 1 wife. Actually, it’s bad to mar even 1 wife.
@KRD 16 million Mormon Christians would disagree but okay. I’m not trying to upset you, but there are many Christians who believe different thing’s.
Thank you guys for your time.
Anyway as someone mentioned, I didn’t use the term “spouses” because I wanted to focus on one thing at a time (eg a man having multiple partners and not the other way around), since the same was being practiced in the TV show I watched (Big Love).
Thank you again for the replies..
@Sam4One Thank you too. This is a very interesting question that sparks a good discussion.
This question is proof positive I’m officially an old man. Were I much younger I’m sure I’d fantasize about having multiple wives. But having survived 3 marriages I can’t fathom the idea of having multiple wives at the same time. I’m exhausted even thinking about the potential pitfalls such a relationship might produce. Hard pass.
I do remember seeing a thing were this middle eastern guy said that he had 23 wives and was surprised when the guy talking to him only had one.
@SEKA
Yes I saw sister wives and the resulting children caused even more pain for them not to mention bad examples in ther young lives.
The only man in those relationships is demonstrating narcisstic tendencies.
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Idiot..looks like this started in the early 1960’s/70“s and would not be surprised if illict drugs involved.
In the 1960’s many communes were started which where participants were railroaded into doing manul labor while the leader profited.
Very much like that man on sister wives is profitting off those wives properties.
Answer to your question from a female perspective:
In this present age tht we are living in MOST women are independant and will not put up with disrepect where a man has ownership ,dominence etc over them.
The scenario tht you propose suggests that woemen are children and the man is taking the role of being there father figure..something that women grow away from when they are adults.
Your proposal suggests an ancient way that is no longer acceptable.
Hell to the no. One wife and family is enough. I have no desire to be driven fucking insane. “Don’t drink so much!” “I know, right?” “The need new kids need new shoes!”. “Are we there yet?” ” I have to go potty daddy!” I’m hungry daddy!” “My friend has x box 99 I want one too! They’re only 5,000 dollars”. Anyone for game of Russian Roulette?
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