Social Question

DeLorean24's avatar

What Do You Do With A Customer That Won't Give Up?

Asked by DeLorean24 (317points) March 13th, 2022

I have this friend that stops by his local grocery store on his way home from work, usually 2 to 3 days a week. He spots a female cashier who wore a pair of Jordan sneakers that he likes. He goes to her register to get his things paid for and has quick conversation with her. He asked what does she do outside of work, and he claims that she’s going for her Bachelor’s Degree. Being a Bachelor’s Degree, Presumably this girl is in her early 20s, where as my friend is in his early 30s. He also complimented her on her sneakers and asks where she got them. She mentioned her brother got them for her birthday. And this was the first time he saw her.

A week later, he stops by the store and sees her again, goes to her register to pay for everything, have short convo, and that’s it.

Another week later, he sees her again, visits her register to pay for everything, and invites her to hangout – not for a date or romance, but just as a friend, getting each other’s friends together and going to the movies kind of thing. But when he asked her this, he claimed she had a dazed and confused look in her face, like someone was trying to poison her or something, when all he was doing was showing genuine interest in her because he thought she was cool. Although it was risky to put her on the spot like so. And he doesn’t like to miss an opportunity if there’s one there.

He’s been seeing her every week, and was just being nice. But later hasn’t seen her lately, for whatever reason. One week when he hasn’t seen her, he leaves her coworker a note mentioning how he feels and that he’s not rushing romance and that he doesn’t want to deal with gold-diggers. He also mentioned in his letter that he has the same Jordan sneakers she has and that they have matching sneakers. I’m worried now of what may happen now that he gave her coworker the letter.

I give him an A for his effort, but I’m concerned about him as he’s trying too hard, and I even told him this. I guess it didn’t matter because he already sent the letter, even after I told him try looking for another girl. If you were the female cashier (in their early 20s), what would you do in this scenario?

Also, if a male customer that admired you, came to your register, had the same sneakers you had on, and gave you that letter, what would you do?

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14 Answers

canidmajor's avatar

I would tell him to stop, I would have my manager tell him to stop, and I might inform law enforcement that I felt harassed.
Tell your friend he is being creepy and to back off, he is likely freaking her out. She is at work, she has to be nice to him.

I have worked in retail and bars and had to deal with this stuff. It’s creepy and scary.

LadyMarissa's avatar

I’d tell him that I don’t fraternize with my customers & I’d appreciate it IF he’d back off!!!

chyna's avatar

I have worked in retail also and had similar things happen to me. It’s creepy and unwanted attention. One guy even left a note in my car. I was upset that he knew what car I drove. I think she has let him know she’s not interested and he needs to stop. I bet she has either changed her shift or changed jobs.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I agree. Creepazoid.

kritiper's avatar

Oh, the curse of being a beautiful girl!
I have a friend that thinks that just because some beauty is nice to him, he thinks she likes him and that he might have a chance to go out with her. And to him, a date means sex!

chyna's avatar

^ I wasn’t beautiful. I was female.

DeLorean24's avatar

@kritiper: And a date doesn’t mean sex to him. Like I mentioned, he’s not rushing into romance, which obviously includes sex. Nor does he want gold-diggers. His expectations are yea high.

kritiper's avatar

@DeLorean24 This friend of mine isn’t normal. Any time I had a date I never automatically expected sex. I doubt any normal male does, unless they’re gay…
Your friend may not be rushing into anything, but she doesn’t know that, and all women have to constantly have to look over their shoulder to see if there is anyone behind them. Men, especially white men, don’t have that problem. And she has most likely had her share of run-ins with creeps.

Response moderated
Inspired_2write's avatar

Tell him to give up.
I had unwanted advances as a clerk behind a counter and felt cornered by men who think that is an ideal time to get personal information etc

One man after years of shopping(?) finally stated one day..
” Are your ever going to go out for coffee with me”?

I flatly told him NO.
He asked my why?
I told him that I worked THREE jobs and had responsibilities at home and DO NOT have time for ‘dates” with anyone.

I told him that I get this unwanted attention every firiggin day and if thats the way HE gets dates, there is something wrong with that in the first place.

In a small Town I saw this happen repeatidly and all females did NOT date anyone who approached them ( cornered) in that way.

Better to meet women in common surroundings such as mutual events, interests etc

canidmajor's avatar

Here’s a thought for your “friend”. Just don’t. Really, leave her alone. She’s working. I don’t care how interested your “friend” is, how pretty he thinks she is, how much he likes her shoes, he should just back off. Shop somewhere else. Leave her the hell alone.

LadyMarissa's avatar

Even IF I was interested in him, I would NOT be inclined to discuss it at work!!! I’d find it offensive that he was making me look bad on my job & I’d be having a long talk with my supervisor on how to keep him away from me. Creepy guys NEVER understand that they are being creepy!!!

JLoon's avatar

I turn off the “customer is always right” BS, and make it clear that their transaction doesn’t mean a downpayment on my ass.

Sorry, but your friend has made just about every wrong move possible. It’s too late to repair the damage and things can only get worse from here.

Just because a female has a job working with the public and treats someone with courtesy doesn’t mean she’s “available”. And a note to her co-worker?? WTF?! He’s one step away from a visit with the cops.

I’ve got no idea if this person is mature enough or smart enough to learn from his mistakes, but you should. Don’t be this guy.

Ever.

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