Should you apologize to children?

Think of it this way:
If you do not apologise to children for the mistakes you make, and if you make fun of them for what happened to them, what are you teaching them? What do they take away from that?

That they can not trust you.
That when they have problems in their life, that you are not going to help them.
That if they make a mistake, they should not apologise either.

As a teacher I apologize to my students all the time. It’s much worse for my profession not to do so.

Yes. you should. For one thing, you are the adult.

Let’s see. I always did and my child (now 33) and I have a lovely relationship. My mother never did, and all three of us ran far away as soon as we were able. And now I am estranged from her, and both my sisters see her as seldom as is possible, while still being sure they are not written out of the will.

Yes. You should apologize to children.

You want to apologize to children because it show that you do care for them and you are sorry for your actions. Whoever said that you can’t apologize to children doesn’t care for them and to me it seem when parents are that way it to me doesn’t seem like good parents. I’m not a parent but I do know that parenting is to help kids not harm them.

You should absolutely apologize to children. This is no different than offering an apology to an adult.
We all need to own our “wrongs” and offer sincere apologies when necessary.
There is also a right way and a wrong way to apologize.

Right @Forever_Free. Putting a caveat in it is the wrong way to apologize. “I’m sorry but maybe you’re just too sensitive” is wrong.
I wrote to her “I am so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I did and I feel terrible. I love you.”

Your friend was a subscriber to a whole class of child-relations theory that I despise. My family pretty much entirely subscribes to an opposite philosophy, and it’s worked very well for us.

As a child, I dreaded and loathed ever being around parents or teachers who did any of that BS. I disrespected those people, and still do as an adult.

As a friend to their children, I know their children suffered and struggled and very often acted out with some pretty extreme and messed up acts, including stealing from them, secretly sabotaging both the parents’ and their own lives, and doing extremely mean and hurtful things to anyone they could get away with harming.

So while I think it’s possible that there is some wisdom that works for a few people in that line of thinking, basically my feeling is it’s a backwards and terrible way to relate to children.

@Dutchess_III That was a very sincere apology. Exactly that there is no room for excuses in an apology. Well spoken.

Of course. Especially if you want to set a good example, which you should.

Here is a picture of her reading the card.
Flowers are on the counter behind her.

If it’s warranted, yes. Decades-long youth leader here. Apologized to kids many times throughout.

If nothing else, it seasons the kid to both shoulder her mistakes, and express proper consideration for those offended.

I have a sister who steam rolls her way through people’s live, insulting them and offending them, but refuses to accept any responsibility for the hurt and anger she leaves in her wake.
“I am not responsible for your feelings,” is what she says.
Too much “therapy” if you ask me.

Or too little.

@Dutchess_III
You should stab her, then tell her that you are not responsible for her puncturable skin.

Kids learn more from the actions of the adults around them than they do from the words the adults preach at them. I feel that if an adult screws up, it’s their duty to say “I’m sorry.” For 5 years or so, Zoey has been telling you that she doesn’t find that moment funny. For the life of me, I don’t understand why you would have thought that having it happen to a random puppy would change her mind. She received the message that you sent. I don’t think that you did it to be malicious; but as the adult, you should have processed the idea better. I also don’t think that “sending” flowers and a card was the best apology although she seemed to accept it pretty well. I feel that you should have jumped in your car and drove straight over to look her in the eyes and tell her how insensitive it was of you to prank her like that and apologize face to face for making a huge mistake and then hug her tightly as you asked her to forgive you. Since you received a little grin when Rick delivered your message, think of the huge smile that you would have seen when you told her woman to woman how sorry and wrong you were

Let that embarrassing chapter of her life fall into oblivion. She’s 8 now and within a few years will start to become a young woman. Would you bring out her nekked butt baby picture to show to her new boyfriend? She’s seeing getting her head stuck just as embarrassing—let it go

Apologise if you’d made a mistake, to everybody that you’d made the mistake to, be they 4 years old, or 94 years old.
It’s the only right thing to do, in my book.

I just didn’t realized how strongly she felt about it. Of course I won’t bring it up again @SEKA. That goes without saying.

@ragingloli “Tough love.” Teaches them to dodge and parry stabbing attacks.

What you did was a kind apology. Even better though it to try and understand her feelings about what happened. Maybe you could try and ask her how she feels. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, let it go. But I have to agree with @SEKA for the most part.

I agree with @SEKA too. I’m going to let it go, but sometime in the future I want to ask if she remembers it, and how she felt at the time.

Kids are people two.
If you screw up then own up. Age should not have anything to do with this.

If you don’t apologise, what are you saying? That your feelings are more important than the child’s feelings. It is adding insult to injury.

@Dutchess_III: __“I’m going to let it go, but sometime in the future I want to ask if she remembers it, and how she felt at the time.“__

I wouldn’t keep asking her about the incident (the railing incident), if I were you. It’s like you’re pushing it on her.

I think it’s a good idea within reason. But so far, my parents still refuse to say they’re sorry for me being born.

I try not to take it personally though.

If I ask over and over then yes. It would be pushing it. I have no intention of doing that. Geez.

@JLoon sorry to hear that.

I’m not the only one who didn’t understand. Obviously her mom didn’t either or she wouldn’t have shown her the video. She was surprised at her reaction, too.

Every time I ask her if she wants to see it she is adamant that she does not.

Five years of “adamant” should have been the first clue

Since she freaked out, I’d guess that she definitely remembers and would prefer to forget

and therefore, @Dutchess_III, I would not ask about this incident again.

Edit to add, if she wants to discuss it, let her bring it up. If she doesn’t bring it up, let it go.

I certainly think one should.

I’ve even apologized to my cat.

If I saw a child or a non-human animal get their head stuck in or between anything, my first reaction would be to sense their distress, not laughter.
My second would be to try to extricate them from their situation.

However, I’d LMAO if I saw Putin, Trump, or some other annoying person in the same predicament. :-D

You should definitely apologize. I am wondering if it would be appropriate to add that you meant no harm, or if simply apologizing is sufficient.

Sure, if an apology is the right thing to do. Parents make mistakes or are just wrong sometime.