Social Question

Dutchess_III's avatar

Can I get a restraining order on someone I just don't want to hear from again?

Asked by Dutchess_III (47069points) March 20th, 2022

Or do they have to “do” something?
If the entire family wants one could we get it?
My youngest sister is on the attack. She started in on my oldest daughter today.
It’ll come back on me. Isn’t there something I can do legally to stop her just because I want to? She’s absolutely crazy y’all.

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36 Answers

jca2's avatar

From what I understand, the person has to have committed a crime in order to have a restraining order against them. You can google it, though to see what the laws are in your state. Temporary Restraining Order Kansas or Restraining Order Kansas or Order of Protection Kansas. Also, if it’s concerning your sister, it may be under the jurisdiction of Family Court instead of Criminal Court, which has a whole different set of rules. Google whether sibling issues fall under Family Court in Kansas or Criminal Court.

jca2's avatar

If she “starts in” on social media, block her.

If she “starts in” on the phone, block the number.

If she is coming to your house, or to your daughter’s house, the cops should be able to go to her house and tell her to stay away from you. If she persists, you can always get her for trespassing or harassment.

SEKA's avatar

I don’t think that you can do it “just because I want to”. I think that there has to be a legal reason. Anybody I’ve ever known that did successfully obtain a restraining order found that it wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on.

Most people who end up on the receiving end are control freaks by nature and the RO just succeeds in pissing them off so they will come at you twice as hard. I’ve lost several friends due to the impending violence that occurred.

Since the violating person is family, it’s probably going to be looked at similar to a domestic dispute. You might call your local magistrate’s office to ask what you can legally do. Cops won’t do a damn thing until a court rules on it and then they’ll do nothing until she physically harms someone.

Any chance she’s mad at you and taking it out on your daughter just to upset you?

jca2's avatar

@Dutchess_III: If she’s harassing you by phone or in person, send her a specific text specifying that you no longer wish to be contacted by her. Each of your family members who are getting harassed should do the same thing. This way it’s clear and there’s no misunderstanding what you are asking, and there’s a date and time stamp on it.

Dutchess_III's avatar

No. She’s just a wack job @SEKA. She texted my daughter demanding my mom’s paintings back….but my daughter gave them to me months ago. My sister just got nasty with her.
@jca2 is right. I’ll block her and if she shows up here and won’t leave I’ll call the cops. That’s unlikely though. She doesn’t know where I live, plus she’s in California.
But insane people manage to do the damndest things.

Dutchess_III's avatar

My sister hated Mom. I don’t know why she’d want any mementos from her.

jca2's avatar

You and your daughter should tell her please don’t contact me any more, and then leave it at that. If she contacts you, again, then block her.

SEKA's avatar

Good luck. You’re right, insane people do crazy shit. Just be careful

Nomore_Tantrums's avatar

Well dang, and I thought I had a whacko family! I still have a bit of grudge against my two sisters over the inheritance screw over, otherwise I’ve forgiven them. My brother will never let it go, but he just ignores them. Good luck with that Dutchy. At least your Sis isn’t a border line Commie. Keep us posted as to developments, ok?

jca2's avatar

Unless she’s really nuts and wealthy enough to afford the trip, it’s unlikely she’s going to travel from Cali to Kansas just to act up, so that’s a good thing.

Jeruba's avatar

I believe civil harrassment is grounds for a RO. Look it up on your county’s website.

One RO can protect several people.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, each of us 3 sisters got a little less than $200,000 from the estate so she has the money if she wants to waste it on causing trouble and feeling important.

Here’s the situation: My mother was an artist. When she and dad split up Dad took several of her water color paintings. He died in 2005.
His wife got very sick last year and we 3 girls all visited at different times. I was only there for 2 weeks.
My daughter, Jen, however, stayed to the bitter end, about 3 months.
When Beck went to visit she went looking around and found Mom’s paintings rolled up in a tube in the attic.
Without saying a word to anyone else, she took them home with her. My Dad’s wife was still alive at that point.
Jen was one of the few family members who was still speaking to her. She sent them to Jen “for safe keeping.”
Jen gave them to me!
Then Beck became disillusioned with Jen, and finally quit calling and texting her. Yay!
This morning Jen called me in tears. She said “Mom! Becky is attacking me!”
Becky was demanding the paintings back. Don’t know why. She hated Mom.
Jen told her to talk to me.

She is NOT getting those paintings back!

I sent off an email to my attorney to confirm that there is nothing Becky can do legally to get those pictures, that she STOLE to begin with, back.

jca2's avatar

Well, that’s Probate Law which is a whole different issue. She still may have to stop harassing you but as far as the paintings go, if she didn’t give them to your daughter and if they’re part of the estate, you may have to turn them over and then possibly divide them up. That’s something your attorney can advise you on.

Dutchess_III's avatar

All that is done. The estate simply said all pictures and decorations go to the beneficiaries, but it wasn’t any more specific than that.
Kathy named Lexy as the executor (which enraged Beck.) She spent weeks fielding requests and shipping stuff out.
She and her husband bought the house. Closed on it last week.

SEKA's avatar

Death brings out the worst in families

jca2's avatar

@Dutchess_III: See what your attorney says. Sometimes, what is logical is not always the way the law works, especially when it comes to Probate law. Maybe the pictures will have to be divided evenly or maybe the executor has to determine who gets what, and just because you possess them doesn’t make it a done deal.

It doesn’t make sense for you to bicker on FL about what you think is right or logical. What makes sense is what the law says and what may be determined by the Court.

Dutchess_III's avatar

It certainly does @SEKA. But Becky is the only one throwing fits. She demanded all of Kathy’s jewelry. She doesn’t wear jewelry!

Dutchess_III's avatar

That’s why I sent an email to my attorney @jca2. I’ll let you know what she says.

jca2's avatar

@Dutchess_III: I know, So let’s see what he says.

jca2's avatar

I hope he’s not charging you for his time, @Dutchess_III.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, she didn’t charge me when I asked her to look over the estate paperwork.

janbb's avatar

If it were me, why not just block her communication from everywhere? Your daughter can as well.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Already been through that. It she starts in on me I’ll do just that.
My daughter already did.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Have your lawyer send her a letter.
Then probably duke it out in the Courts?

jca2's avatar

Did attorney respond to your email yet, @Dutchess_III?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Not yet. I’ll let you know.
Good news, she isn’t attacking anybody today. Yet.

Dutchess_III's avatar

She replied. She’s leaving town this afternoon and won’t be able to get to it for 2 or 3 weeks. So, stay tuned.

jca2's avatar

I guess since she’s doing it for free, she’s not in a rush.

Dutchess_III's avatar

She’s going on vacation.
And there is no rush unless my sister escalates things.
If I have to retain her to actually represent me then of course I’d pay her.
Funny story…over the years I’d given her quite a bit of money, but it was on my kid’s behalf.
One time I was in her office and she said I was a good customer.
I said “You know, you’ve never represented me in any case!”
We got a good laugh out of that.
Though since then she has worked up a contract for some land we sold to a lady about 7 years ago. It was an owner carry deal.

SnipSnip's avatar

Only possibility is if it rises to the level of harassment; check your state code.

Inspired_2write's avatar

@Dutchess_III
Hope that she isn’t coming to your place to cause trouble?

Dutchess_III's avatar

I don’t think she knows where I live. But if she did I’d order her off my property and have her arrested if she refused.

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