How do you cope with a pet having to be put down?

I’m so sorry, @SergeantQueen. It’s one of those life passages that anyone with pets may have to face. You’re never quite the same afterward.

For me, the first time I had to make the decision, it felt like a transition to adulthood. Leaving home, getting a job, moving away, getting married—none of those things really made me feel like I’d crossed into grownupland. Putting my old cat down did it.

She needed me to do for her what she couldn’t do for herself, and so I had to do it.

I held her and cuddled her and talked to her quietly while the vet brought the syringe. It still makes me tear up, and this was like 30 years ago.

Saving a memento may be comforting, but your memories are the best thing. And the knowledge that you did it out of love because you had to.

We just had to put down our 10 year old Lab-German Shepard cross in February. It is tough !

I’m so sorry, sweetie. Big hugs.
In those situations its best to do it quickly so they arent suffering. Be brave for them, pet them as they take their last breath, so they know you are there. We took our boys favorite blanket for him to lay on, one of us on either side of him.
Once they inject it, it takes like 1 minute so its quick but very emotional. My boy had cancer too.

How do you cope? It’s not easy or pretty. Basically, I just got through it and cried for days. I do really take comfort from the fact that I was with the ones I could be with, that they could hear, see, feel and smell me with them.

There are lots of sites dedicated to the loss of a pet, even places you can write about them. Many humane societies have grief groups to help people cope. I went to a number of them and they were helpful. At least I could talk about it and bawl my eyes out and everyone understood. And I cried with them, too. It’s comforting, and it helps knowing you’re not the only one feeling so strongly.

Above all else, don’t try to avoid or ignore your feelings, or drink them away. Stuffing them down will simply ensure that they never lessen, they’ll stay as strong as they were in the beginning. Facing them by talking to your pet, out loud if you want to, writing if you like doing that, drawing – whatever outlet you like – and letting the tears flow when you feel the urge is what will ultimately make it hurt less. I talked to my Pepper for about a year, daily. It helped. The pain never goes away entirely, but that’s ok. It just means that you loved deeply. I’m so sorry.

Everyone has bad times, and good times, and everyone dies.

I mourn, but I cherish and think of the good times.

When a pet has died, I have been comforted to think of how much good I did for the pet, and what a good life it had with me. Of the lives a pet could have had, mine have had exceptionally good ones. That makes me quite happy and satisfied, even if I miss them now. But overall, it’s clearly a great life they had, and not something to be sad about.

If you care about them so, I’m sure you gave your pets great lives, too.

I am still recovering from losing two dogs and a cat over ten years ago.

I hate that this is happening to you. I’m so sorry you’re suffering, and I feel for little Bruno. I know he means so, so much to you.

I grew up with a dog too, and she helped me through some really difficult times, including human losses. So when she died, I didn’t just lose a dog, or a family member – I lost my source of stability and comfort, the one being that was always there. It was awful, and I imagine it might be similar for you. Is that right?

For getting through this day: you can think about how to honour him. For my dog, I have a small wooden box with mementos like her favourite toys. When she died, I put lots of little slips of paper in there, on which I’d written her special places and people. You could add a bit of fur. Maybe you want to give Bruno a proper burial or have a “party” with people who loved him. Or you can go to a place he liked and privately light a candle for him. You can do this often, if you like. I did it once a week for a while.

For keeping yourself safe, as Bruno wants you to be: there’s research saying our brains show signs of physical pain when we’re grieving, so it will help to think of yourself as injured. You can apply gentle warmth (hot water bottle, bath, (weighted?) blankets) or cold (cool showers, moist cloth on your face) if that feels good. You can treat yourself to lots of rest, some feel-good TV, maybe gifts to yourself like a pair of extra-soft pyjamas or snacks you love. Whatever feels a little luxurious to you. Treat yourself as well as you’d treat an injured Bruno, and let yourself know that he is at peace. You can imagine he’s just sleeping in the next room, if you need to.

You’re at risk of reverting to your least helpful coping skills, so make a plan now. Call in all support from friends and professionals. Spend time with dogs, if that helps. Have a standing appointment with a crisis line or a friend who understands. Call every day, if you like. Talk to your friends on Fluther. Go to therapy or any free counseling you can get. Use your self-help books and write a list of skills you have that were helpful in the past. Especially for panic attacks. Use those skills, even if you don’t think they will help at all this time. Maybe get one of those bracelets that you can add a soothing smell to, such as lavender or lemon.

It’s been five years for me, and I am in no way “over it”, but I do feel peaceful when I think of Nerina. Mostly. And rather than the giant hole of loss, there’s lots of love and tenderness (like when she was alive). You will feel that, too. Hugs.

And some more hugs. You will be okay.

I am so sorry to hear that you have to say farewell to your your pet dog who you obviously love to bits. I don’t class them as pets but beloved family members and it is extremely heart wrenching to have to say goodbye.

During my lifetime I have had the heartbreak of having to say goodbye to some of my beloved family and it does not get any easier.

The thing to remember is that when Bruno goes it will be extremely quick and totally painless. He will be given an overdose of aesthetic and will fall very quickly to sleep.

Although you won’t think so at the moment you will eventually get over your loss but you will never forget.

May I suggest you give some thought to replacing him very quickly, hopefully with a rescue pet. I found that getting another pet very quickly after does help to cope with the heartbreak of your loss.

I will be thinking of you and Bruno.

@SergeantQueen Recognize that all things die. You loved Bruno and he loved you. Remember that because it is the most important thing. Recognize that he is in pain and will only go through more pain if you do nothing. You have the power to do something to stop his pain. Help your friend through it. Then grieve him, remember him, and move on. Get another dog eventually. Not because dogs are fungible, but because you need another friend in your life. That dog will never replace Bruno in your heart, but it might find a new place in your heart.

I am so sorry to hear this. It takes time to grieve the illness.

Oh, @SergeantQueen, I am so sorry to hear this. I am old enough and have had enough pets to have gone through this a bunch of times, it is always awful. You grieve and hurt and ache and go on. Not helpful, sorry.

I always find a sympathetic ear to share stories of my dog, funny, sweet, helpful, all the wonderful memories. And then, as soon as it is feasible, I get another dog. Not to replace, they can never be replaced, but to start building that joy again that comes with having such a lovely friend.

I ache for you now, this is such a sad thing. <<hugs>>

It’s brutal. I’m not going to sugar-coat it. I lost my dog several years ago to cancer. He too helped me through a difficult time in my life. They’re never truly gone though. We keep them alive in our memories and the love never goes away. I’m so sorry you’re facing this. Sending you love and sympathetic thoughts. Also, I agree that drinking is probably the worst mechanism for coping. It’s a depressant and only amplifies the pain. You dog wouldn’t want you to self-destruct.

That’s terrible @SergeantQueen! You must be so sad. I’m sorry.

Of course it really takes time and living to get past something like that. For me personally, what helps is to think about what you would have wanted in their situation. I think all of us would want our pets to live happy lives after we passed, and many (not all) of us would not want to prolong our own suffering if we had a terminal condition.

So sorry to hear that. Please take care.

We got our previous dog before we had kids, so he was like our #1 son. He was the sweetest dog. He developed a neurodegenerative disease. We finally had to make the decision. :( I had a family friend come with me to the vet. Dog was very scared when we took him there. We stayed with him during the process until he became unconscious. It was really sad. We didn’t get another dog for 3 years.

My sweet little baby passed away about 45 mins ago. We were all in the room, and we all told him how much we loved him. He was not alone when he passed. It was the hardest thing for me to witness but I had to be there for him.

Today, we got him cheeseburgers from the place I work, his favorite food <3. We walked him around the neighborhood, and we played a bit of ball with him. He was very happy, and I know he loved us all so much. He had a wonderful day today and he will be missed so fucking much.

Rest easy my sweet little cuddle bug. I love you more than anything <3

Awww what a great, loving day you gave him. You were so brave, lady. (oo,) <sniff sniff>

Now be kind to you.

p.s. I think all of us would love to see a picture of Bruno and hear any stories you might want to tell us, if and when you want to.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Being in that room is so hard, but it’s the right thing to do. What you did took courage and strength. My heart goes out to you and your family. May he rest in peace, free from pain.

I am not sure how I can share photos, could someone tell me? I would love to share photos.

He was such a sweetheart. Always cuddled up to you. He rarely barked and would ignore dogs barking at him lol. Even when the other dog was acting all nutty. He didn’t care.

He loved Frisbee so much. He could run for hours. LOL and when you combined swimming and frisbee!!! Oh boy! lol.

A lot of people get a lil nervous around a big dog, especially one that’s a pit bull mix. But he was such a lil baby and everyone who met him was shocked at how calm and sweet he was. We took him camping, and the neighbors next to us told us how they were surprised he was so quiet, as they had been nervous.

He would take up my whole bed, so I was smooshed against the wall. And I have a full sized bed. He was the biggest cuddle bug. I really, really miss him.

I know I suggested it, but I’m not much help on sharing photos; in the past I shared one by using it as my avatar. Then you can see a bigger pic by looking at the profile. I know other people have better ideas; I think you have to use an account of some sort. Hopefully someone will see this and know what to tell you cuz I wanna see him!

Funny, I don’t know why, but I pictured him as little. I love big dogs; gives me something to really hug. He absolutely sounds like a sweetheart!

I have used a flickr account in the past, and that was easy enough.

Bruno sounds absolutely amazing. I’d love to see him, too!

Here’s my Bruno

Lots of pics of him dozing and sleeping or cuddling up to me. He was such a cuddle bug.

Some pics you can see the bump on the left (In the photo, it was on the right of his mouth in real life) And that’s the tumor. I hesitated, but that’s still my cute little baby no matter what.

Ohmigod! He’s beautiful! He looks so mild-mannered and sweet. So cute in the last pic where he’s sleeping with his ?dolphin? My favorite pic is the 33rd one, the closeup of just his face. Thank you for sharing those.

I’ve been keeping you two in my heart since I read this, and am sending comforting thoughts. I know everyone here cares, and many have been what you’re going through. Here are a couple of sites that may help you through this:

https://www.petloss.com/

https://resources.bestfriends.org/article/pet-loss-and-grief-resources

Thank you so much! I guess I was wrong too, he was 6. Not 7. He would have Been 7 in August. We don’t really know the exact day.

I bookmarked the links, I submitted Bruno’s name to the Bridge list on petloss. I think I need to save the rest though, I read a beautiful story on there that made me feel happy but also made me sob like a baby.

He was such a gentle boy.

And yes, the last pic was the dolphin. I think I put it there tho lol!!! I couldn’t resist!!!!

That last day was so hard. He was still eating, and drinking, and wanting to play. It was so hard to let him go.

“It’s better to let them go a day early, than a minute too late”

We never had to see him get worse from the Melanoma, we never had to really see him suffer. I am sure he was in pain, just didn’t show it. His teeth were severely rotted and almost falling out, because of the tumor. It grew a lot in less than two weeks, and he was severely anemic from blood loss.

It was hard seeing him act like he always does. But I am glad that’s my memory of him

I agree about saving the sites. It’s like looking at pics from when I was little and seeing all of my family that are gone. The memories are wonderful, but it can be too much all at once.

btw, sobbing is good. ;)

I know :) I am doing my best to let myself feel all my emotions. That’s the healthy thing to do.

I’m so impressed! Seriously. Wish I’d begun doing that when I was your age. I wouldn’t have been such a mess from my 30’s into my 50’s. It really makes a difference. <<hugs>>

btw, when I share something, I’m not trying to turn it back to me. I’m hoping my experiences can help you.

They do help me, and I appreciate it! I have learned that bottling it up makes it worse. My bosses at work were very kind in letting me have some days off so I can be with my dog and kind of deal with everything alone.

There are no magical words that can help.I went through this over 8 years ago and in reading your story it bought back old wounds I thought had healed. It’s torment to put them asleep forever and torment to watch them suffer. I couldn’t watch my little one suffer knowing that keeping him alive a day or two could feel like an eternity to him. I wish they could live our life span but its not meant to be. Try to hold onto the good memories. There were so many for me. He attitude, his poses because he knew he was beautiful to look at. His clamoring the bowl when it was empty and his demand that I go to bed when he was ready for bed. I like to believe he is in doggy heaven waiting for me to love him once more. Your heart will be torn but in time there will be days you will remember having him and feeling blessed for having him even if it meant saying goodbye for now, because the thought of your dog being with someone else who may have not appreciated or loved him the way you do would’ve been worse. I have a new dog which I got a few months afterwards. I was planning to not love her but she made sure my plans would be ruined. The thought of going through this again one day is painful, but I try to remember to just keep loving her for as long as I can because I feel her love everyday. Its going to hurt like hell but its one painful day to ease your dogs life into the next and saves your dog pain.Ask what you would want done if you were in extreme pain.
I truly feel for your dog and you. I hope the good times for you out weigh the pain.

I know it’s hard. Been through it too many times with my cats.
Felt like my heart was ripped from my chest.
Best advice that I got for dealing with this came from my wife, “Stop crying about it and go to the SPCA and rescue another cat”.
Good health.

What a handsome dog. He looks gentle, kind, and wise. I love number 28, where he’s outside and looking up at you like “We should play, yes?!” I’m sure being with him soothed and comforted you more than anything. Big dogs that like to cuddle are a special source of comfort.

I think it’s great that you’re letting yourself feel the emotions. The only way out is through. You’re being really brave. Your pain is valid, and you’re in no rush.

I recommend doing a meditation like “this“https://youtu.be/hxCG_c4XYUs and putting Bruno in there. That way, you can visit him in your mind. It’s surprisingly helpful when dealing with loss.