Social Question

Dutchess_III's avatar

Ladies, have you ever had a guy ask if you were on any type of birth control before you had sex?

Asked by Dutchess_III (47140points) May 9th, 2022

Not once, in my entire life, has a guy asked if I was on birth control before we had sex. Not once.

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16 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

Since my days of being concerned about contraceptives date to the 1970s and 1980s, I did get in the habit in college of asking girls if they were on the pill. Since most of my adventures pre-date the AIDS Crisis, there wasn’t as much focus on safe sex or condom use.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I’m thinking of pregnancies @zenvelo.

canidmajor's avatar

Yes, a few times in the 70s and 80s.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Maybe twice. I was primarily active in the 90’s, so we were very aware of AIDS and STD’s.

JLeslie's avatar

Yes.

Either ask, or also the first time I had sex my boyfriend knew I wasn’t protected and he was concerned about it. His solve was to not stay inside me too long and asked me to get birth control.

Men unfortunately were not very worried about STD’s and HIV, they were mostly focused on pregnancy.

Dutchess_III's avatar

You are so lucky you didn’t wind up pregnant @JLeslie. That’s a terrible form of birth control.

JLeslie's avatar

@Dutchess_III That first time I was lucky. It was the only time I had unprotected sex when it was a risk of having an unwanted pregnancy, and even during that encounter I knew I was likely not anywhere close to my ovulation. I always knew when I was ovulating and with my husband I used that time to get pregnant or avoid getting pregnant and I never got pregnant when I didn’t actually plan it. I got pregnant very easily when I planned it until many years later after surgery when it no longer worked. Probably scarred from the surgery.

JLoon's avatar

A few times – but probably fewer than 20% of my male partners bother to ask.

In most cases I’m the one who brings up condoms & sexual health, and the reactions from guys tend to be mixed. It’s clear about half of them would rather have me without a condom, but they almost always cooperate when I ask. And generally I hear similar experiences when I talk to other bi and hetero female friends.

Dutchess_III's avatar

My first time was unprotected too. I was 15. Got lucky. Plus it was lousy sex.

After that was a boyfriend in school. Lots of sex for the following year. Fortunately he was amenable to sex while I was on my period.

Next was a BF in college. I was old enough to get birth control and I decided 3 months in advance that we would have sex. I got on birth control then and just counted down.

Then was my husband. We wanted to have kids. We tried for 3 years before it happened.

Then Jerry.

Then Rick. Not one of them asked if I was on birth control.

anniereborn's avatar

Other than my four fully committed relationships where it was fully discussed first, condoms were just a given.

SergeantQueen's avatar

Yes. But I wouldn’t really count it as fully a good thing, they were roughly 30 years older than me and it was fully to protect their image.

Or they ask because they “don’t like condoms” and they are “uncomfortable” for them to wear.

So once again, just pure selfishness and nothing to do with making sure I’m protected and safe as well.

RocketGuy's avatar

I always asked. Getting someone preggers is a huge negative in my book.

Patty_Melt's avatar

The majority of my activities predate HIV being made public.
I was asked.
After HIV condoms were a must no matter what.
The only way to be certain of safety regarding pregnancy or disease, is keep all activities without a partner.

HP's avatar

This is a great question. It never even occurred to me to ask. It was the 60s & idiot that I was, I just assumed any girl interested in sex of course “on the pill”. In fact, I was dumbfounded when a woman 5 years older than myself asked if I had any rubbers.

Pandora's avatar

Oh, my that was too far back to remember. I don’t think my husband ever asked and I was a virgin when we got together.

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