How much of your personality belongs to you?

All of it?

It may have been shaped, in part, by other things or other people. But the end result is all mine.

All of it.

@raum

So when you say shaped by others what do you mean?

I was thinking a lot about my mannerisms and how I “mirror” people (someone used that phrase and I liked it)

I pick up on certain phrases because people I know say them a lot.

I never used to squint my eyes when I smile big until a close friend did.

Things like that. I sometimes will learn other people’s interest so I can relate more, even if I don’t care that much.

Is that what you mean? So does that mean my personality is my own? Sometimes I feel as if I have no personality because I get them from others as you said.

My comment was just about the nurture aspect (nature vs nurture) of how personalities evolve.

Though have you heard of masking? It sounds a little bit similar to what you’re describing.

It’s a social survival strategy where autistic people copy or mimic neurotypical behavior.

I’ve done it my whole life but I don’t think I’m autistic.

I just get paranoid I’m not a full human because I can’t think of a thing I do that I didn’t learn from someone

None of it.

What you see is what I’m renting. ;)

We are all pieces and parts of others. And about that; nothing is more important than one’s ability to discriminate.

I am proof that it is possible to go through life with a borrowed personality and stolen words,

You choose people and mannerisms to copy so you can find better ways to express your personality, but no one created your personality, not even you.

At this point in my life, I would have to say it is all me.

I’m claiming all of it.

Can any of you fathom there might be more of me out there? No, I believe I am a self-made man when it comes to my personality.

Noo disputing that!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirroring#:~:text=Mirroring%20is%20the%20behavior%20in,of%20close%20friends%20or%20family.

@kruger_d yes, that is what I was referring to, but a little different

I don’t do it so much as the article describes, as in. If I’m having a conversation, I don’t tend to copy what they are doing as I am almost never looking at them. I may glance but I have to force myself to try and make eye contact. (And then when I do I basically zone out and panic about “am I looking too long?” Etc.).

I also don’t feel forced or obligated to laugh at a joke others are laughing at or such things.

So it’s not really mirroring in the moment, it’s more… Someone I know does a thing often enough that I pick up on it and also do the thing?

So mirroring behaviors in the long run, not in the moment.

All of it. If I am a cantankerous absent minded old coot, then that’s on me. No one has a gun to my head forcing me to be unpleasant. People need to accept responsibility for their own actions in the world.

My personality is all mine!

I have the receipt to prove it!

It’s impossible to pick a percentage. Some people say I’m like my mother, but my thinking and how I react has always been mostly me. I’ll give an example. I prefer to do things without needing to rely on others. I learned that from my mother, except I’m not so dug in that it means I can’t accept help or ask for help when I really need it. My mother always has to pay you back for the help immediately. Even her children. I do not. I understand we all need help sometimes and it’s no shame to get it. I think some of that is from my dad. But I clearly remember as a child not even feeling that way. It wasn’t later till I realized that there are people in the world who would take advantage of generosity, or do things with expectations did I come to see why independence is necessary. So there is where life itself shaped some of my personality.

It’s like a basket of mixed nuts. I’ve also learned valuable life lessons from teachers, strangers, workmates, and relatives. But here is something people don’t think about. We can have two people learn the same life lesson differently. So part of that has to be nature. I didn’t think like most children when I was young. I knew that then and I know it now. I enjoyed observing others and studying people just as much as I enjoyed observing animals and nature.
I was a little shy but I also could be very friendly and a bit of an extravert when I thought a person safe. That part is all me along with other parts that still remain. Like, I love being silly. I can make myself laugh. I still enjoy nature and animals and love learning. All those things are me, but my serious side has been shaped and changed over the years. That part of me isn’t the core of who I am. That is constantly in flux only less so as I age.

What I thought were certain in my 20s became uncertain in my 40’s and now I’m sure I was wrong in my 20s. Time and knowledge and the ability to change, changes who we are.