Do you think being a really good person is a bad thing?

Sounds like there’s more going on than “being a really good person”.

I agree with @raum that your example is not an example of “being really good” – there’s a lot more going on there.

No, being a good person is a great thing in this world, for the most part.

Being foolish, vulnerable, defenseless, unable to respond appropriately to undermining, unable to speak up for oneself, etc., would be different things.

And the forgiveness that you specifically asked about, is also a different kind of thing. Taken by itself, forgiveness tends to be a good thing. But again, the situation you’re talking about is more complex, and suggests you may have forgiveness conflated with some sort of victim syndrome, or something.

Sometimes really good people end up working in really shitty places.

When that happens, quitting & moving on is usually quicker and healthier than wondering what your life means and why the world isn’t fair.

I remember a drunk guy in a bar once saying to me that Jesus couldn’t have been as good as he made out or they wouldn’t have crucified him. So there you have it, do you believe in the goodness of one man or in the goodness of humanity.

Maybe they just don’t like her because she smells bad.

This is actually a really common kind of stories that people use when they want to make a point about something, either the power of forgiveness, the inherent goodness of people, or just a touching story of a perfect person. The problem is that I have yet to see this happening in real life. I heard of that one story about a man forgiving his son’s killer, so a scenario like that isn’t too far away from the truth, but I really suspect that there is more to the story and the person telling it omitted details to make a point about forgiveness the story was told in an article about forgiveness and the story was a small part of the article.

So, I can’t judge. Unless there is proof that something like that actually happens in real life, I don’t think I can pass judgement on a story that is likely to be fabricated.

Who gets to decide who is a really good person and who isn’t?

@SnipSnip I get what you are getting at, but would anyone say Hitler was a good person?

@Mimishu1995 Eva Braun probably did.

Being a good person is not a bad thing. Unfortunately our society doesn’t like good people because it reminds them of their own short-comings. Good people are often targeted for ridicule. Efforts are made to tear them down, even if stuff has to be made up.

But I think the question is really asking if her forgiveness is apt or not. I’d say yes. Let’s say everything happened as the question says it did. You have a lot of not-nice people setting about to tear down one that is nice. They succeed. So what is the nice person to do? Well she could lash out at the people which would likely be used as proof she was as bad as they made her look, or that she isn’t a nice person…which is what they want. She could just stew about it and let it eat at her until she is bitter and cynical. But that hurts her even more, giving the not-nice people more control over her. Or she can forgive them.

The act of forgiveness is not saying they are good people or what they did was acceptable. It is a way of saying “I’m not giving you any power over me. I am better than that and will not afford you one more second of my life.” It is probably the best response she could have.

“We have a female in her 30s, she’s a nice girl , working in a company, but everyone around her is jealous of her because she’s perfect in her work.”

Being good at one’s job isn’t bad.

Being envious of another for working hard and succeeding is bad.

Bad is where this woman is getting flak for working hard at her job , instead of them trying harder to succeed as well.

I don’t believe that she needed to “forgive them” as it makes her some off as smug instead..like a Holier than thou attitude, which would aggravate them more so

@Mimishu1995 Most likely, yes.

Thanks for the answers.