Growing up in SF, I learned early on the secret to avoiding unwanted confrontations with street folks. This is going to sound really heartless and awful, so please don’t judge me too much.. but the secret is to avoid eye contact, do NOT engage them in conversation, and to ignore them if they speak to you when you pass by.
I know that sounds super cold.. hopefully you guys know me well enough by now to know I’m not a heartless person. The truth is, it works. I haven’t lived in a big city in like 10 years, having spent most of that time in the South, where I picked up that friendliness to random strangers. So, some examples..
I was a teenager in SF, a homeless guy asked me for change, I felt bad and decided to treat him as a human being, and said, “Sorry, no.” He then got up and chased me down the block, no joke. It was a bit terrifying.
I visited SF a few years ago, and I’ve been trained out of avoiding eye contact and such.. Hooboy.. I offered to buy a homeless lady a piece of pizza because she was hungry, she seriously stood there and kept telling me she wanted Chinese food instead, which was like 3 times as expensive. I also got approached by a crazy lady at the bus station that I stupidly made eye contact with, and then had to listen to a super-crazy tale of paranoid woe.
Lastly, growing up in the city, I learned to cultivate an attitude of “don’t f*ck with me”, which is amazingly effective. I kind of wear it like a coat, I exude it… I’m not someone to mess with. I hear all these horror stories of people getting messed with on the streets, and somehow 99% of the time, I managed to avoid it.