Which rights/freedoms should be up to the states to decide and which should be determined at the federal level?

Should there be a federal law banning abortion or legalizing same-sex marriage? What would stop states from citing the 10th amendment and not enforcing such laws?

If SCOTUS decisions like Obergefell and Roe are “overreach”, then the alternative is a federal law (which states could refuse to enforce and could also be seen as overreach) or a constitutional amendment (nearly impossible to pass—hence the point, I guess).