On any given day, are you only as happy as your saddest adult child?

Pretty much, yeah. And I think we never quite get over the feeling that we can fix (or try to) what’s wrong. It’s a special kind of heartache.

I hope your child’s hurt is not forever, and that they recover quickly, @janbb.

No. My oldest is always out of sorts, but her negative outlook on life does not affect me. I love her though.

I certainly feel the sadness when one of my children is sad. It affects me. I can say that I’m not as affected as when the sadness directly occurs to me. I can say that none of my children are as described by @snowberry. None of them are constantly down. I don’t know how I would react in that situation.

My kids are still young.
Though that sounds about right.

Hope things get better for you guys. [hugs]

My happiness/sadness is not in direct correlation to my children. We are all individuals and responsible for our own feelings.

That does not mean I am not supportive or empathetic when one of them is having a tough time. My son had a tough semester at law school and had a 2.495 GPA, missing the contnuing enrollment level by essentially one multiple choice question. He took the necessary steps to talk to the Dean and repeated one class, and has done well ever since. Id di not get “sad” but I did offer him as much support as possible.

I only have one child. She is a very young adult (19). I am affected by her emotions, but she lives with us so I’m pretty attuned to it. I’ve gotten a bit better at not letting her feelings affect me, but it’s hard.

I suspect when she eventually moves out (10-years?), I’ll be less affected by it.

As you want your children to be happy so your children want you to be happy too. Reflect their moods, you can’t do otherwise, but don’t just reflect, add a little of your own light and don’t let them feel they have disappointed you.

Absolutely, instinctively so.

Just wanted to say: as an adult child, this is part of why I keep certain things from my parents (for better or for worse), because I know that their happiness is tied to mine and I don’t want to upset or burden them.

I think that is a fair characterization.
All three of my kids are stressed. I ache for them.