How do you turn on the charm?

I smile, shake hands if possible, and ask open ended questions to try and find a common link with the other person. I do the same whether at a business gathering or if at a party.

I just open the spigot and out it comes! : /P

There’s a little on-off switch just below the buckle.

But – you have to be sure that the charm has been charged fully or it won’t turn on.

For me it really is like a mental switch. Whether it’s an event, work or a gas station, it’s mostly big smiles, mild flirting (men/women) and little humor with lots of direct eye contact.

I was very introverted as a child and had very few friends through middle school. Was bullied quite a bit too.

Then, in the summer between middle school and high school, I met a kid from the next town over. Didn’t know me from a hole in the wall. Thought I was interesting and funny.

This ‘clean slate’, as it were, completely changed my perception of myself and my personality. I began building on the combination of having diverse interests, a decent vocabulary, and a pretty quick wit and, next thing you know — instant charm.

Works pretty well and has served me well since then. So glad I met that kid.

I smile, look people in the eye, tell them I’m happy to see them or meet them, or welcome them, ask them questions and listen to them talk.

It’s almost always very genuine. I am happy to see people, I naturally smile a lot, I enjoy meeting new people and I want them to feel welcome. Turning it on and off is a little like a show, but not in the sense of being deceptive.

@JLeslie: Yes, sincerely being interested in what others have to say is important. Listen more than talk.

I smile, stare people dead in the eye, for a minute.

I just be myself, you can’t fake genuine when it’s real. People respect that. I respect that in others also.

Say it with cash

I just use the power switch.
;)

“Oh I don’t know, what’s new with you?” “You are really funny and smart too.” “Do you think my skirt is too short?” “I bet you have a very nice car.” “You’re so tall and handsome.” “Did you roofie my drink because I’m saying the stupidest things…”

There’s a fine line between flirting and being charming. They’re not the same. Flirting is more about complimenting someone, while being charming is more… hmmm…sophisticated, subtle, usually involving wit and maybe a certain degree of innocence. The other thing I’d add is the ability to laugh at oneself.

Nice try, but I’m not giving away my dirty girl secrets.

Very bluntly.

I just open a box of Lucky Charms and have at it. The rest just happens.

You really should ask a narcissist for their take. They know how to turn on the best charm and then rip it away.