Why would a 35 year old woman want to be “best friends” with a 71 man?

You may be right; however, NOT all women are golddiggers!!! When i was 38, I dated a man who was 89 & I truly ENJOYED his company. He was smart, had a GREAT sense of humor, & he knew how to ENJOY life!!! He helped to enlighten me on some of the finer things in life & showed me different ways in looking at things!!! He had grand kids older than me & his family felt that I was the golddigger. I truly did NOT want him for his money…I ENJOYED the time that we spent together!!! So, don’t sell yourself short. You may have MORE to offer than you realize!!!

I think she, or it could be a he, is trying to suck you in for some reason. Ridiculous that they said you were their best friend after a few messages. It’s very suspicious. Sounds like a scam for a money request. I would unfriend and block them especially since your mutual friend couldn’t vouch for them.

Cross-generational friendships can happen in person but this situation is too fishy.

Your instincts in this particular case are probably spot on, the nature of social media lends itself to these kinds of scams.

But this statement of yours: ”I think that the only reason that a young woman is interested in an old man is getting money.” is just a silly generalization.

Everyone has their reasons. Why not ask her straight out?

Sure, it could be malevolent, but it could also be something more profound. Maybe it’s the daughter of someone he knew, and she had a childhood crush on him.

I’d say – let it go a little further.

Scam. She (he or they) are using someone else’s photo to catfish. It may not be a woman, it may be a man. It is probably someone setting you up for some type of scam (lottery ticket scam or going to ask you for money for the journey or some other bullshit).

I was befriended by someone high up in the military who had two mutual friends (this is on FB). The two mutual friends were people I know personally, people high up in the organization I was a member of, so I figured the person friending me was legit since he obviously knew them. Turns out it was a scam account and I unfriended him after about an hour. Luckily we didn’t chat much where I gave out any personal information. Obviously, this person who friended me used a photo of the Army General as his profile photo, and I believed it, partly because of him having mutual friends that I knew.

Beware of any stranger that gets too chummy. The lesson I learned is be very wary of any strangers who want to become too friendly too fast.

This could be a love scammer. Some guy in Nigeria trying to trick people. Well done on the instincts. Oh and be sure to unfriend her.

Kinda hard to tell. I have had good friends that were twice my age. But I tend to figure if it doesn’t feel right, you are probably best off avoiding.

I’m less concerned about the age gap than her claiming you’re her “best friend” after so little contact.

Seems shady.

I don’t think age really matters in regards to friendship. But social media is a totally different beast. I’d steer clear of this one.

Yes, it’s possible for a young woman to be friends and even best friends with an elderly man, but that would probably be in real life, maybe spending time together, helping each other out with rides or going out to eat, advice, etc. That relationship would grow organically. For someone to befriend an elderly man on FB and after a few chats, call him a best friend and say she wants to visit, is reeking of a ripoff.

I think you’re being a cynical old geezer about it.

I would doubt that she’s a ship’s captain and I doubt that she is on her way to Australia. I also doubt that you are her best friend or that she is lonely or that she even knows your mutual friend. I am pretty sure that if you join her on her voyage, she will spin you a sob story long before you make landfall. It could be fun, but be forewarned.

@gondwanalon Maybe she knows you’re an oarsman and will ask you to row over and rescue her?

Really – it all stinks of scam.

I think you’re right. I still get those from time to time myself. Has SCAM written all over it. They just think all old codgers are rich. Think again. And need I say it, she was scantily clad and from the Middle East? Muslim women don’t dress that way, I’m not a moron. Facebook should get a handle on that crap. But say something negative about a certain political mindset and you’re shame and disgrace and suspended for three days. Stop sweating politics and do something about these online hookers. Or whatever the hell they are.

Whether it’s a scam or not, you aren’t comfortable with it, so just block the person.

I am mostly leery of the fact that you only had a couple messages with her and now you’re her BEST friend?! That was kinda fast! I would be very skeptical about this and maybe ask her how that could be so soon. Much more talking is needed here.

@RayaHope Ditto that. I mean it’s his deal but Facebook sure as hell won’t do anything. Unless some conservative gets butt hurt over something political that he said. They’ll be all over it like flies on poop.

@Nomore_Tantrums laugh out loud (I can’t txt speak anymore)

It’s true though, @RayaHope.

Possibly looking for a “daddy” to take care of her ( if she is as she states).
As many answered her sounds opportunistic for her (?) to get one involved in getting her out of a bad situation perhaps.
Makes one wonder hoaw amny others that person is presently scamming especially when saying to wait three months!
Delete her of your FB acct.

Sounds sus. Unfriend and block.

Blow her out & she’ll sail away.

She’s probably just capitavted by your FB profile – Like all of us.

I mean, this is you. Isn’t it…?
https://postimg.cc/cK0ymkFL/4f9d3328

^Too funny!

@JLoon HA! Good one!
Yeah it’s likely some clown in Nigeria.
The following is one of the two messages “she” wrote to me this afternoon;

“You are really Amazing and a very wonderful person and I am very proud to be associated with some one like you and having you as a best friend is a dream come true. I am very happy and proud to have a kind man like you at this very stage of my life. Honestly I will always care for you because you are such a caring man and you needed to be treated like one, At this stage of my life and Career all I needed is happiness and I believe with my best friend I am complete and I am sure you can take very good care of my empire.
Ever since I read your message, I have been thinking with affection of the moment we will see each other, and satiate all this desire that has taken over us as best friends in such an intense but wonderful way.”

@JLoon I’ve never had such beard envy in my life! My god, it’s like he’s had a hair xenograph with a grizzly bear.

@gondwanalon You have to know that that’s crap – and poorly written to boot. I have a cousin on FB who must make public posts because she’s always getting friend requests from “men” who say stuff like that.

Aside from anything else, what would your wife feel if she read this crap? Ditch this catfisher fast.

“You can take very good care of my empire”!!!

@gondwanalon Beware anyone who randomly capitalizes words mid-sentence willy-nilly—unless they’re German. :P

This person is really laying it on thick. I would block without saying anything, no explanation, no excuse.

@JLoon I’m gonna pretend I didn’t click on that link. lol

@chyna that’s what I intend to do ASAP.

Thank you all for your answers.

You are really Amazing and a very wonderful person and I am very proud to be associated with some one like you

No joke. If someone I have never seen before randomly came to me and said something like that, the first thing I would say would be “are you a stalker?” This is creepy enough without knowing what she would say next.

Facebook: Scammers from Nigeria took some guy for his life savings? Yawn. Hookers constantly sending “friend requests” to old guys? We don’t see an issue. Some semi nude “Moroccan Princess” trying to scam a one way plane ticket to America for her and her mom? Move on, no biggie. You said Orange Man on one of our forums? “Your account is suspended for two years after multiple warnings. Any further comments of that nature you will be suspended for the rest of the decade”. Reason: rude crude socially unacceptable. You have 15 seconds to challenge our decision. Time up!

Just an FYI, if you’re ever wondering if the person in the photos is the real person you’re talking to, have them put a fish on their head and hold up a current newspaper.

@gondwanalon: Such a flowery way the person writes, it’s so obvious it’s bullshit. I don’t even want to refer to her as a “her” because in all likelyhood it’s a him.

Someone like that will pm hundreds of people, and if just a few respond, they will “work” on those people. I am guessing this person tried to assess whether you’re flirty, in which case they would go the “sexual relationship” route, or if you were not open to that, they are going the “best friends” route.

Think about it. If this person were really a captain of a ship, she would have so many real life encounters with people, potential “best friends,” she would not have to make a “best friend” with a stranger on the other side of the world. It’s a ludicrous and preposterous notion, really.

In case you need more research watch the movie “the cable guy” with
Jim Carrey and Matthew Broderick

Why not play along with her? What have you got to lose? Arrange to meet at a restaurant or some other public place. You may also say that you are experiencing financial problems and see if she still maintains interest.

^If he is married, his wife might not see that as funny.

I blocked the ship captain’s (“Emily”) last night without responding to last message. I didn’t unfriend Emily because that way Emily can’t send me another friend request.

@LostinParadise & @Chyna I don’t like playing games because there’s always a winner and a loser and I’m always the loser. HA!

In previous messages I informed Emily that I’ve been married for 31 years to my best friend and I would never do anything to my wife that would hurt her. That did not faze Emily at all.

So glad this is over.

Thanks again to you all!

Good health!
Lon

@gondwanalon: If you blocked him/her, they wouldn’t be able to send you another friend request because they would not be able to see you/find you at all.

As I guessed, when “Emily” found out you were happily married, they took the messages in the “best friend” route.

@gondwanalon: One more word of caution: if you gave out your personal information to “Emily” like your full name, where you live, birthday, etc. be wary that she/they might use your information to steal your identity. This is why it’s best not to communicate with these people at all, even if just for fun.

@jca2, and @gondwanalon – Definitely possible and potentially dangerous. In fact it happened to me in almost the same way complete with hackers, stalkers, phone calls, personal confrontation, and attempted assualt.

I had to call in police & delete, cancel, and drop Facebook, twitter, Instagram, and every other social account that was compromised – but it’s taken years to feel that I’m finally in the clear.

The risks are real . Be careful.

@jca “Emily” asked me for my phone number but I didn’t give it.

So sweet that that’s over.

I accidentally accepted a friend request from an unknown woman on fb a few years ago. It turned out to be my long lost cousin. She shared a lot of family pictures and other information. My two older Sisters were absolutely delighted.

@JLoon Glad you didn’t drop Fluther. :-)

@JLoon Me too! What a nightmare. Glad you’re ok and feeling less fearful of psychos.

@gondwanalon – if she starts talking about cryptocurrency, she’s a crypto-rom scammer. She will want to sweet talk you into putting your Bitcoin into her “high profit” exchange (where you can’t get your coins back out).