Am I depressed or just grown up?

Maybe you’re just changing. Our interests tend to change over time. That’s how life is.

Now, you very well MAY be depressed over the changes you observe in yourself. Only YOU can determine that. Chances are, however, you’ll probably feel less depressed if you choose not to interpret those changes as problems.

Are you happy talking less?

As I got older I appreciated alone time more. I would say I was actually blissful to be alone and not have to talk and not have to worry about what I looked like, and could do whatever I wanted. I still love being with friends and family too, but the amount of time I need with people shifted.

Do you have some of the other symptoms of depression? Sleeping more or trouble sleeping, crying easily, not finding much joy in the things that usually give you joy, no feelings of hope about the future, or feelings of helplessness.

I find that as I grow older that I’m MORE selective as to who I want to interact with, so maybe talking less to others is your way of weeding out those you don’t “need” in your life!!! NOTHING that you said sounds like depression to me except maybe you feeling that talking less is actually a problem. Since I don’t see it as a problem, it doesn’t depress me & it shouldn’t depress you!!! I’d rather have ONE really good friend than have 1 thousand people “pretending” to be my friend!!!

It’s also possible that you’re just going through a “stage in your life” where the way you look at things will simply shift. People who were relevant in the younger you, are no longer relevant in your new way of thinking. Just keep meeting new people & see IF you don’t find a few who have something to say that interests you & engages you enough to discuss further. I have been cutting a lot of people out of my life lately because they have NOTHING to say that I want to hear & I’m NOT interested in debating to try & change their mind!!! So, I’m thinking that you’re just growing up & not depressed!!!

I can’t tell at a distance but it sounds like you may be depressed if you’re isolating and not seeking new close friends. I’ve had to make new connections at various times in my life due to disruptions and it is not just aging to want to isolate completely. Of course, as someone matures, you begin to find the right balance for yourself between socializing and solitude and that is different for each person. But it doesn’t sound to me like you are particularly happy with where you are right now.

@janbb I’m not isolating myself intentionally. It’s more that I’m much more cautious around new people. It doesn’t help that the new people that I’m interested in doesn’t stay for long. It bothers me because I was a much friendlier person and I could warm up around people easily.

@JLeslie I don’t think I have other symptoms of depression. I don’t have trouble sleeping or my emotion. There are still things that I find joys in doing. I’m a bit worried about my future though.

It is good that you have taken notice of this.
When we age, we mellow. Are you happy and okay with this change? Are you searching for something else in your life that you can’t attain?
Keep a check on it.

@Mimishu1995 You know, I think this is just a natural part of growing up as an introvert. I did the self isolation thing about your age too. It’s a great time to remove outside influence an figure out exactly who you are. Wanting to be alone is fine. I’m often happiest when spending time alone, it’s emotionally restorative. Extroverts won’t get that and will often try to make it sound odd because….it threatens them. Being alone drains them. I don’t believe it’s possible to really know who you are with others constantly influencing you. I worried about it being odd too, but I’m glad I embraced it. Other people can’t make you happy. You have to find your baseline, then you can easily see good influences and bad influences. Not so easy without that baseline. In that way, introverts are often much more self aware.

I’d vote for grown up. It always puzzles me when people, and particularly young people think it necessary to shop for friends.

Thank you everyone for answering. I’m just concerned that I have become less approachable and open to new experience because of these changes. I like people at heart and I don’t want to become an unkind person. Maybe @LadyMarissa is right that I’m just more selective of people I want to be around and I haven’t found the right person yet.

It seems you started a nice conversation right here right now!

Try it again.

Ok, I’ll try again:

What is your favorite way to prepare coffee? :P

@Mimishu1995

“It’s harder for me to make new friends like I used to.”

What are your relationships with the friends that you’ve already made?

@Brian1946 I’m still friends with them, though I’m seeing some changes in a few people or rather, changes in me. There are things in them that I no longer identify with. This is something that is bothering me a lot.

Don’t let it bother you. It’s a sure sign that you’re growing. You are expanding your perspective and sharpening your discernment. Good for you.

@Mimishu1995

What are some of the things in them that you no longer identify with?

@Mimishu1995 You’re probably a bit smarter than your friends too. You’re here talking to us. I doubt conversation here is boring to you. It probably is with your friends. Your close friends need to have about the same IQ for conversations and time together to be really meaningful. I hate to say that but it’s mostly true.