What did you learn about Jewish people growing up?

My mother lived in a boarding house in Berkeley while in school, and there were a half dozen Jewish women who lived there who became her lifelong friends, so my siblings and I grew up knowing a lot of Jewish people. Top that off with my elementary school having a significant Jewish population, and I was well versed in Jewish culture and beliefs.

We knew they did not believe in the divinity of Christ, and that they celebrated Old Testament holidays and traditions. I even attended a Seder at a friend’s house.

And, when I was 9, Fiddler on the Roof opened with Zero Mostel on Broadway. I was living in Westchester County at the time, and one of the local radio stations played Broadway hits every afternoon. I heard “Tradition!” at least twice a week.

My tolerance, admiration, and respect for Jewish people has not changed since 3rd grade.

Church was my first introduction to Jews. Jesus was a Jew and died for His beliefs. Jews are God’s chosen people biblically.

I do remember my mother dating a Jewish man from her college when I was a young teen. She mentioned him being Jewish but nothing else, so to me it was just a different religion like Catholic or Muslim.

As a late teen, the gang told me Jews were the Devil. It directly contradicted my religious upbringing, which is a major reason I eventually (thankfully) realized I had no business associating with those people.

I have worked with a few Jewish people who were not religious and did not go to Temple but identified as Jewish.

I admit the religious component is one I have not studied much about but I would like to.

Being Jewish seemed to me just a normal fraction of the community I grew up in.

A friend I met when I was 3 years old was Jewish, as was at least one family my parents were friends with, and some fraction of my grade school (20–25% maybe?). I mainly learned things during Kindergarten show and tell exercises, which were usually basic background with some ancient stories (Jericho) and Hanukkah and dreidels (game and song), and we got some reading and synopsis of The Diary of Anne Frank.

But mainly Jewish people seemed pretty much the same as all the other people I knew. Maybe more likely to have dark brown hair. The main difference was that if I knew someone was Jewish, that made them notably more religious than most people I knew. Almost no one I knew made any mention of being or doing anything religious, except maybe a grandmother, or a very few people who mentioned going to church. Well, and the non-commercial mythology of Christmas and Easter, which were just like less interesting, more belabored, uncompelling fairy tales. (I knew some people, including my parents, got forced to go to church or church school, which sounded like an absolutely terrible tyranny of fake and dumb beliefs and joyless oppressive restrictive rules and wasted time.)

I learned about the Holocaust in books and movies about World War Two, perhaps starting with my first visits to the War section of the school library when I was 5 or 6 years old.

Some of my teachers were Jewish, though I can only think of one who I know was. Mainly it was indistinguishable from “white” for me, unless/until someone said something about it. I didn’t have many particular celebrity favorites, but I knew many, and didn’t know which were Jewish or not. So I was mostly unaware of ethnicity unless someone was obviously partly of Asian or African descent, or something.

And then in 5th grade, the class was going to paint the windows for the holiday season, and some (parents?) objected to any Christmas imagery, and some kids (IIRC) asked why we couldn’t just also put Jewish and other religious images up, and we didn’t get a good answer, and I think even pine trees weren’t allowed, so we had to just draw snowflakes or something.

I read and saw The Merchant of Venice, and got that that was a cruel stereotype. I knew anti-semitism was in the USA and other courties, though I didn’t really see evidence of it, except in some other dramas.

I think it wasn’t until I went to college in Chicago that I noticed encountering any signs of more cultural differences, stigmas, or separated communities. Mainly from one of the companies that owned an apartment building I rented in. They were the first Jewish people I met who seemed to fit some stereotypes about Jewish businesspeople that I was barely aware of at that point, and I think they may have been defensive about it and I imagined maybe they expected me to have a stigma towards them. They seemed particularly focused on business, money, and rental contracts, seemed to have a kind of know-it-all condescending and sour air about them, and if I’d seen them in a dramatic production, I’d have thought it was an unkind overdone cultural stereotype.

Chicago in general felt like a place where (as an overall trend) all ethnic and cultural identities tended to be much “thicker” than where I grew up, and people in general seemed more suspicious or mean to each other than I was used to in Seattle.

As a child, I was in the “completely unaware” category. The predominant ethnicities where I grew up in eastern Massachusetts were Irish and Italian, so mostly Catholic. Kids would ask each other “Are you Catholic or Protestant?”—no third (or other) option—and I didn’t know what either one meant, so I said I was Catholic until the mother of one of my friends told me I was Protestant.

This was the 1950s, and the Holocaust was only a few years past. It was a meaningful context for many of my friends and of course their parents, but I didn’t know that at the time. I knew nothing about it.

The fact that I was kept so ignorant is in itself a kind of answer to your question.

I had Jewish friends—and I had a crush on Bobby Goodman in third grade—but I didn’t know they were Jewish. Not until sixth grade, when an enlightened (Gentile) teacher included Hanukkah themes in the classroom alongside Christmas themes. She chose Bobby Goodman to read a Hanukkah poem aloud to the class, and it was the first time I’d heard the word “Hannukah.” So up until that point, I was just plain uninformed.

There was the occasional random mention and casual joke, such as my father’s customary wisecrack about food restrictions when someone ate too lightly at our dinnertable, but I had no idea what they referred to, and I never asked.

It troubles me to this day that my father, an ordained minister and a professor of philosophy and religion, didn’t educate his own kids on the existence of other faiths and our points of commonality. In those days as now, it was us and them: in that case, it was us and the heathens, all of them. Only our churchpeople understood the requisites of salvation correctly and were going to heaven.

In Sunday school and church, there were frequent mentions of the Jews (e.g., “king of the Jews”), but they were all in a Biblical context. When verses were interpreted, we were always told that “Hebrews” or “Jews” meant us, because we were God’s people. I can’t imagine now how they had the nerve to do that.

I never got it that when they said Jews who didn’t accept Christ as the Messiah weren’t going to heaven, they were talking about my friends and neighbors and not some long-dead guys from Bible times.

I do remember some anxious questioning of Sunday school teachers: What about Abraham? What about Moses? What about Ruth? (I was especially fond of Ruth.) Weren’t they good and faithful servants of God? Weren’t they in heaven? How could they have been condemned for living long before Jesus was born? I can’t remember any of the answers, but I know that I was dubious.

From seventh grade onward, I was very aware. A third of the youngsters in my classes—in the immediately post-Sputnik burst of interest in accelerated learning for bright kids—were Jewish. We had an antisemitic math teacher who liked to call attention to the seats that were empty at the holidays. My group of friends was about half and half. The only times it made any difference were when they had special things to do or not do.

So what I learned about Judaism I learned directly from my Jewish friends, at least through high school, including bar mitzvahs and bas mitzvahs, visits to the Jewish Community Center, holiday talk, and visits to their homes. Later on I did supplementary reading and asked questions. I first learned about the Holocaust when reading The Diary of Anne Frank at about age 11, and I was simply stunned. I’ve read a lot since then, including The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, and I still can’t take it in.

I had a Jewish boyfriend for eight years and learned plenty from him. I’m still learning.

Three of my friends in grammar and junior high were Jewish, recruited two of them for our YMCA group for basketball, flag football and dodge ball. Went to 2 Bar Mitzvahs; got a buzz on at one and ate some great food.

@Tropical_Willie, so what did you learn about Jewish people growing up?

I learned nothing about Jews as I was growing up. I wasn’t aware of a single one in the town I grew up in. There were a few Catholics and they seemed a strange breed to us.

The first Jews I became aware of were Jerry Rubin and Abbie Hoffman in the late 1960’s. They were anarchists with a sense of humour that appealed to me. I was appalled to learn later that Rubin had sold out and become a business man.

I often heard Rabbi Hugo Gryn speaking on BBC’s Radio 4. I admired his humanity which came, I think, from his Jewish beliefs. Torah is the best merchandise he used to say. He reminded me that not all Jews speak like Israeli political leaders.

I have owned a copy of Joseph Baron’s “A Treasury of Jewish Quotations” for many years now. There is a profundity and a beauty there that is inexhaustible.

I was from a smaller town, so I didn’t know much, except that they were a minority that was discriminated against a lot.

I didn’t pay attention in school, but I learned about WW2 in high school. I didn’t even know about Israel when I was young, so I just assumed all Jewish people moved to America. In highschool you just assume all Irish and Jewish came to America which is obviously silly lol.

More details continuously came in, especially after Schindler’s List.

The rest were just dumb jokes made by dumb people.

I think in my early twenties the whole Israel-Palestine issue started to come into the media more, so I did some light reading on that.

I stay out of that debate, but I totally understand why things ended up like they did. I feel Jewish people got continuously backed into a corner.

They were gentile and kind people, went to dinner several times at my friend Ronny’s house. They were Kosher. His mom could cook!

The family was extremely talented musicians. Went with his mom and Ronny to a club they were playing and saw Lou Rawls do a “sound check” in the afternoon that was the 1950s.

I’m wondering now if my parents deliberately chose not to teach me discrimination against other faiths and cultures or ethnicities. Even though it meant I was shocked to find out how ignorant I’d been, I think it was good that I did not learn stereotypes, cruel nicknames, and righteous persecution of any who were other. I realized that I had heard gibes and taunts spoken by some schoolmates toward others, but I had no idea what they meant or why. Was I better off not knowing?

Further thought: I was in a very minority Protestant sect, and we got called names, but I didn’t know that was happening to others on account of religious beliefs. I didn’t know why they were picked on.

A friend’s Mom had been in a concentration camp. She had the number tattoo, and had been sterilized.

Wow, thank you all so much. I so appreciate the time everyone took to write out your thoughts. I found the answers very interesting.

I was raised in a very diverse place and we were all so many different race, ethnicities, and religions, and I didn’t have any stereotypes in my head growing up.

I really liked how so many jellies talked about how they didn’t really understand the differences between people. Like @Jeruba saying she was Catholic and being corrected.

@Zaku Maybe more likely to have dark brown hair. The main difference was that if I knew someone was Jewish, that made them notably more religious than most people I knew. I love the hair comment. When we were moving from New York to Maryland when I was nine years old my mom said, “there are a lot of blondes there.” My family tends to be obsessed with hair, I don’t know if that is a common Jewish thing.

I wonder if the Jewish kids you perceived as more religious really were more religious, or just went to Hebrew school, because that was the thing to do. So many Jewish people aren’t religious.

@Blackberry so I just assumed all Jewish people moved to America. In highschool you just assume all Irish and Jewish came to America which is obviously silly lol. So cute. We only know the world we are exposed to. By high school I knew there were still people in other countries, but I can completely understanding thinking everyone came to America. Even when people would explain things to me, when I was young it didn’t always really sink in.

I don’t think I understood Israel as a country and how it came to be until my early 20’s. My family rarely talked about Israel.

@Jeruba I think it’s better not to hear a lot about different groups at very young ages. I say this all of the time, but I often get blasted by liberals, because there is such a push to “learn history” especially regarding bigotry and racism. My opinion stems from knowing from a young age that my people were tortured and murdered in recent history. Luckily, I didn’t grow up with any obvious antisemitism around me. Not until my late teens did I understand that even some people I interact with view Jewish people differently, but I think most of my peers didn’t view anyone differently.

I saw Tyler Perry (the actor/producer) on The View about a month ago and he said his children still just see a sea of people without attributing any stereotypes or history to anyone, not even to their own group. He said he doesn’t want to ruin their innocence until they start asking questions. So, what happens if teachers at school start pointing it out as part of classwork? Are they disrupting the innocence? Bringing on the questions sooner than necessary? I’m very glad I didn’t learn about the Holocaust until 8th grade. I wish I hadn’t known some of the terrors at a younger age.

By the way, I’ve asked people who grew up in the 50’s if they were taught about the Holocaust and the consensus was no. Most people I asked grew up in NYC in very Jewish neighborhoods. Jewish and a lot of Italian Catholics, some Irish too. I think it was too soon. Too soon because people were still being told, or simply knew, not to mention it, not to talk about it.

As a kid I heard that some people hate Jews. Like the German Nazis in the 1930’s and 1940’s. Palestinian attacks on innocent Jerusalem Jews has been going on for many decades and hasn’t stopped. I never knew why. Likely for no good reason such as they are different. A different culture. A different God. Whatever it is it is pure evil madness.

Jews were a tiny minority where I was raised and I grew up without religion (but nominally Christian). In my mind the various sects – Jews, Catholics, Baptists, etc. – were all equivalent things. Mom’s business partner and closest friend was Jewish, and I thought Jews tended to be more cerebral than the average.

I was always a history reader and I knew well about the Holocaust, but I did not connect that to my friends and acquaintances. In the same way I did not realize the injustices my Black and indigenous friends were enduring in front of my face.

As an adult, most of the women I have dated and the one I married have been Jews. I don’t think it is a deliberate thing. I believe it’s just a circumstance of my circle of friends.

The Germans didn’t like them and (at least some of) the men wore funny hats.

I think most of my friends were either Jewish or “half-Jewish” in elementary school. I was always jealous that they got way more presents on the holidays (though it probably worked out to be the same). At the time, I think I assumed the demographic split was around 50/50 between Jews and Christians. My big takeaway was probably the food. I loved going to spend the night at friends houses and celebrate Passover with them or Friday evening Shabbat dinners. Then there were dreidels and gold coin chocolates and all kinds of cool things. I think I even asked my dad if we could become Jewish once.

I got older and moved to Virginia just before middle school. One of my good friends was Jewish. Her grandmother came into our school and recounted her survival of the holocaust as a young girl to our class. That was memorable, like it sticks with me today, memorable. Later I attended her bat mitzvah. I remember being super-impressed with her speaking Hebrew when she read from the Torah. I also remember thinking temple service was equally boring as church service.

I think the stereotype stuff came later, maybe high school? It must have been in movies or something. I remember watching a movie set in the 50’s or 60’s where one kid called the other a “kike” and having to ask what that meant. I think I was confused that antisemitism existed in the US, and had always believed it was a Nazi thing. I was never in an environment where antisemitism would have been considered acceptable. Anyone attempting to do so would have been immediately ostracized and called a Nazi or something.

I grew up in the Upper Midwest in a Catholic family. Other than the atrocities of the Holocaust, I learned zero.

I was taught by my parents that they were and in some instances still are, scapegoated by Christians for the death of Christ, and that that was wrong and evil. They were believers, I’m not. But I’m in agreement with them in that this is bullshit. From my own point of view, people scapegoat a whole ethnicity over what I believe is a fictional death of a fictional being. Even If you consider this real history then it still wasn’t their fault. Pilate had the authority to release him, but realized a revolutionary (Barabbas) in stead. End of Rant

There was a Jewish boy in my neighborhood, and I knew he’s the first person I learned the word from. I attended…something at his synagogue. I remember not understanding the little hats, and incorrectly thinking they were called ‘Yamaha’ for…just a really long time. That these little hats and a motorcycle maker had the same name just confused the hell out of me.

But his family moved away after a short time, IIRC.

“I wonder if the Jewish kids you perceived as more religious really were more religious, or just went to Hebrew school, because that was the thing to do. So many Jewish people aren’t religious.”
– Well, I only know some were religious enough to share about it in Kindergarten show-and-tell, and to at least have some traditions like Hanukah rather than Christmas. And I didn’t know many of my classmates well enough to distinguish religiousness from just having a cultural background beyond just “American”.

The requirement to show-and-tell SOMETHING may have been the most decisive factor in why they shared that, kind of like how we once had to write something we liked about every kid in class, and most of the class figured out they could say they liked how well every other kid played soccer, just because it made the assignment easy.

None of the kids I knew showed much sign of religion. A few of them had parents who made them pray at night, or say grace before eating dinner, and that seemed like an unwise parental folly, to me.