Does it make sense to you for people to say we're going to wear masks in the house, part of the time?

I agree with you. Eating doesn’t stop you from transmitting viruses.
If I were you I’d skip the eating part

If you are visiting with someone for 2 hours, then taking your mask off for 20 minutes to eat is a far smaller exposure to breath droplets than if you happened to have the masks off for the entire visit. I can see the logic of wearing them for the majority of the time and removing them for a time.

The other consideration is the person you are visiting probably has very limited social interactions due to their illness and necessary isolation. They may be very excited to have the chance to visit with people for a period of time. They may be starved for company. Therefore, it’s very nice to wear the mask for the visit and only take it off for the period during the eating.

I think it is a good idea to wear the masks as asked and then to remove them to share in the meal.

The only thing I could see to do is to sit six feet apart which may not be practical. Or only take the mask off when you put something in your mouth which would be kind of strange and put it back on while chewing. I know if she is immunocompromised she is VERY susceptible to getting the virus, as you know. I would not want to take that risk.

In combination with opening the windows during the meal, I can see the viral load dropping down to a negligible amount. That said, in your situation, I would not eat. I’d be too worried about this presumably very vulnerable person.

Someone once explained to me that we use different layers of protection when fighting diseases. With Covid, one might be your masks. Then there’s distancing, airflow, vaccinations, rapid tests, etc. All of those option have holes, like a slice of cheese. But by laying them one over the other, we end up with a solid shield of cheese to protect everyone.

It makes perfect sense. It’s reasonable
compromise that’s saying no one’s being paranoid about getting the virus along with not being too cavalier about it either.

You might consider sitting at a distance from each other or even outside for the eating part.

On the surface, I think it doesn’t make sense.

Maybe when you are eating the woman with cancer will purposely sit at a distance from others. Or, maybe they feel the exposure will be a shorter time. Maybe the woman with cancer won’t eat when you are eating and she will have a mask on? Maybe you all will eat outside?

Or, maybe it really doesn’t make sense, but they somehow think it does. During the height of covid people would eat together and wear masks otherwise, and that’s why restaurants and family holidays were high risk, but many people seemed to not understand.

My friends who are extra careful, we don’t unmask when inside, which means we don’t eat together inside. If they are being very careful we simply wouldn’t eat together period.

It would make more sense to have you take a test before coming over as an extra measure if you are going to eat with her.

I go through similar things with some family, and I have to admit that none of it makes any sense to me. In my case, it feels like doing what they want is simply alleviating anxiety. I also think that this applies to things that we did as a larger society during the pandemic.

Maybe it will be just nosh and not everyone sitting at a table for a meal? Just some appetizers on end tables, and that sort of thing. Then you only lift your mask for a few seconds at a time.

I don’t see why people always feel the need to eat when visiting for just a few hours. I know it’s a social norm, but it’s not necessary.

I think we’re all a bit paranoid about how the virus spreads. It’s through coughing and sneezing, not through simple breathing.

@Dutchess_III Incorrect. Breathing and talking count.

I have three main suggestions.

1) Wear a GOOD mask, not a cloth mask. N95 is preferable, surgical mask is acceptable if you take care to make sure it’s fitted well and doesn’t have big bulgy gaps…which most people wearing surgical masks do. Studies claiming cloth masks as being effective were mostly testing with cloth masks that are FAR more elaborate than what people actually buy. We’re talking 5 layers with multiple layers of special materials. But even that is poor compared to an electrostatically charged layer which no cloth mask has because they wouldn’t survive washing. Surgical masks have this, and N95s have it via the carbon filter.

Understand that the mask is reducing the number of particles you put into the air. It’s doesn’t reduce them to zero. So wearing it, even though you won’t when eating, reduces the total exposure you’re bringing into this environment. So it still has value.

2) Test shortly before you go. If you test positive OR if you exhibit ANY symptoms, just don’t go. Far better protection than a mask is just NOT ENTERING THE HOUSE if you’re sick.

3) When eating, don’t sit in close proximity to the immunocompromised person. Virus particles live in moisture droplets. Most of these droplets are heavier than air and won’t go more than a few feet from you. The few that can float will have a low viral load. Viruses aren’t magic. They need a certain viral load to infect a new host. Covid is so infectious because it needs a much lower viral load than most, but it’s not magic.

@Entropy It’s the person with cancer who is setting the rules, and she’s ok with people removing their mask for eating.

All masks work pretty well at not releasing the virus into the air if it fits well.

Yes, it makes sense because wearing a mask will reduce viral load.

That said, my neighbor does COVID tracking for her job. And the two most high-risk every day situations are shared meals and car rides.

So if they are immunocompromised, I would skip the indoor meal even if they are okay with it.