Has anyone ever participated in an intervention for an alcoholic?

I have been involved in a couple. One was an abject failure, the person threatened to call the police to get everyone out of the house. Another the person agreed to seeing an addiction counselor, but would not go into a treatment program.

essentially, family and friends confront the individual with how their alcoholism is affecting the relationships and the people around them, and then each conclude with “if you don’t get treatment, I can’t see you again until you get well”.

Success/effectiveness depends on whether the person is close or on the brink of breaking their denial. If they aren’t ready, the intervention will not work, although it might plant a seed for future recovery.

Exactly as @zenvelo says. I was part of two, got punched in the eye at one, and at the other the person simply disappeared for a couple of years.

But I have heard of excellent successes, again, as @zenvelo says, only when they were willing to understand what they needed to do.

I have not, but think I have a moderately relevant story. We thought my father was an alcoholic at one point. He came home, pounded beer and liquor and wine all night before passing out on the couch every night. We were thinking about interventions and such.

But then, he decided to quit for awhile to lose weight (he drank most of his calories)...and did so cold turkey. For many months. So…that blew away any idea that he was an alcoholic.

I think before intervening, one should be really sure that they really are alcoholic…not just someone who likes to drink alot. It’s not the same thing.

@Entropy A period of short sobriety is not an indication that an individual is not an alcoholic. People with drinking problems often use that excuse to dismiss concerns of close people. They quit for weeks or months and believe it proves they do not have a serious problem.

To answer the question, in my active years in AA, I sat with many people on the brink of making a decision to quit drinking. The difference with an intervention is that these people all willingly called AA asking for help. I don’t believe that is the case with interventions as far as I understand them. The idea I have of an intervention is that the desire is to shock the person into realizing they have a problem.

If a person is not ready to admit they have a problem, you can talk till you’re blue in the face and you can try many different ways to shock them. It will all be useless. We have a member on this site here who tells us difficulties with drinking and then refuses to admit a problem. They are undoubtedly an alcoholic. It’s useless for us to preach to that person. They have to decide they need help for themselves.

Not personally or formally, I’m more of a one-on-one kind of person. I’ve had discussions many many times with addicts and alcoholics with very few successes.

There is a show called Intervention that professionals are involved in that would show you how it’s done. I believe it’s on Hulu.

Not me personally.

My impression is what is more effective long term is a big scare or hitting bottom. My friends and family of friends who went to rehab because family begged, if they did go to rehab, they went back to drinking very quickly.

My friends who dried out because their children were taken away (happened to one of my very closest friends) or who put themselves in rehab at a very young age, they are the ones who were better at staying dry. None of them had it stick the first time and done though.

No guarantee of course. The sister of a friend of mine lost custody of her children in a divorce and still couldn’t stop drinking. She died recently.

Several of my alcoholic friends from childhood, and alcoholic family members of friends have died now. In their 40’s and 50’s.

The way I see it, but my opinion really doesn’t mean much, almost nobody quits forever the first time. So, getting into rehab is a first step. I think the initial reaction is alcoholics don’t see themselves as the same as the other alcoholics in the room.

I have. The intervention specialist met with all the participants (except the subject of the intervention) and went over the process: he would ask each of us to speak, in their own words. This was the message:

• I care about you.
• I’m worried about you.
• I want you to get help.

We could come at that any way we wanted, but that was the message to convey. No threats, no accusations, no ultimatums, just our own experience with him and feelings toward him, and an urging toward help.

The plan also included how we would respond to his reactions and who would go after him if he ran.

We didn’t have to certify that he was an alcoholic. All we had to know was that there was enough of a problem with his drinking to cause serious concern.

The final part of the plan was to have a facility already lined up so that if he agreed to get help, the interventionist would take him right then and there.

The participants were no strangers to 12-step programs, and neither was the subject, so it wasn’t about waking him up or fixing him. It was about creating a kind of bottom to get him unstuck and move him toward treatment.

So: he came into the dining room, saw his closest family and his girlfriend and one stranger gathered around the table, and said, “Holy shit, it’s an intervention.”

He did sit down. He did listen. I was the first to speak, whereupon he stood up and said to the interventionist, “Okay, let’s go.” The interventionist said, “Wait, let’s hear the others.” So he listened, and then he packed a bag and went.

That wasn’t his last first trip through rehab, or his last, and many people do need more than one. But he did stop drinking.

Unfortunately he took up weed, and from there he went to stronger and more dangerous drugs.

Around Al-Anon, they say, “No one ever stopped drinking because his mother wanted him to.” But his mother can help him want to.

^^^ That wasn’t his last first trip through rehab

I haven’t participated in one, actually, I was the one they intervened on.

@Jeruba is right on target.

Here’s a similar thread from 11 years ago, when my memory was fresher. Relieved to see that I basically agreed with myself. Other comments on that thread are also valuable.

@Jeruba Thank you for finding that old thread. It’s always so heart wrenching.

@Hawaii_Jake, it was linked under “Related” in the sidebar.