Is this child a brat or is she too young for me to judge?

Child rearing is different in each culture. In American culture, it’s common for a child of 2 or 3 to throw a tantrum. Some children do this often, and some only occasionally.

Different American parents handle these tantrums according to their own values. My son and his wife simply let their daughter yell while letting the child know they are safe. They will say things like, “When you are calm again, we’ll read a book.” They don’t chastise the child, nor do they give strong emotions mirroring the tantrum of the child. They remain calm.

I haven’t studied child development, so I don’t know why they throw tantrums. At that age, they haven’t learned good self control yet. That comes later.

It’s not a constructive thing to label a 2— or 3-year-old.

If the child is disruptive in the workplace, including interfering with the people who are there as clients or students, she doesn’t belong there. It’s not a matter of labels; you don’t have to call her anything. But if she is preventing employees from doing the jobs they are paid to perform, which don’t include babysitting a toddler, other arrangements for her care and supervision must be made.

I don’t think most parents would expect a 2yo to happily hang out at a reception desk all day. At that age, they’re also taking naps.

I think it’s inappropriate for a child to be hanging around the work place, and in some areas, it can be a CPS report (in the US), depending on the age of the child and the nature of the workplace. I understand that there are emergency situations where, maybe the kid is off school and the parent has no child care, so they would have no other option, other than staying home from work, so occasionally it might be ok. When I was little, I would occasionally go to work with my mom and she would sit me at a desk and I would do some coloring with pens and paper for an hour or two. However, on a recurring basis, with a young child who is active and needing a lot of supervision, it’s not ok, especially when it’s disruptive.

It seems like the child in your story is becoming more brave and comfortable being at the work place, and more demanding, wanting more attention. I’m surprised the boss tolerates it.

Noted: The child is the boss’s granddaughter.

@Jeruba: I still think it’s inappropriate for a yelling and demanding child to be in the workplace, no matter who she is related to.

Awww, she’s only 2–3 years old. If she behaved well initially it sounds like she does not have a behavior problem (yet) and is just unhappy with her situation. She is doing the only thing she can to try to communicate her discomfort.

It doesn’t sound to me like she’s a brat, it sounds to me like her parents aren’t providing what a child that age needs.

Why isn’t she in some sort of day school with other children and activities for children that age?

It sounds like she is acting her age the only way she knows. I do agree that a child that young should not be in the workplace and should be in daycare or at home with a relative. She is NOT a brat she’s a 2–3-year-old child in an unnatural place for her to be for an extended time.

I agree with others. Also, as @jca2 said, she may have been hesitant and unsure of her surroundings in the beginning. Now she feels more comfortable. I feel bad for her. Like others have said, it’s inappropriate for her to be there, not only because it’s a place of business, but also, and perhaps more importantly, because she needs the stimulation of a learning environment with other children.

I agree with @jca2. Completely inappropriate and a bit cruel for a nursery-age child. The family should re-think their childcare plan.

(Been there done that. Very uncomfortable for employee’s and children both.)

Is it commonplace for people to bring their toddlers to work? Maybe the parents can all chip in and hire someone to do activities with the kids if the workplace has a room they can offer. Set up a daycare there.

@JLeslie It’s very common here in the family-friendly Midwest.
I had one child fall and bust his head, another crapped all over the bathroom and ran thru the office naked. We had to put a stop to it, it got so bad. :(

^^I used to love when people brought their kids to work, but it wasn’t a daily event.

I’m all for parents being able to bring infants, as long as it doesn’t interfere with anyone’s work. Toddlers need more entertainment though. If a company is large enough I think they should have day care on property. It doesn’t have to be free, but the convenience of it for parents is so valuable.

The problem with kids at work is, at least in the US, it’s a liability. If there’s a day care set up at work, that’s different. At my last job, for local government, people might occasionally bring a kid in if there was a party or for a quick visit, but it was made clear that it wasn’t supposed to be on an ongoing basis. The problem with those situations is if one person does it, everyone wants to do it. In the work I did, with people going out in the field, it’s not really practical to have a kid at work if you have to go out in the field, because you can’t then leave the kid unattended at work and you definitely can’t take the kid out in the employer’s car, especially if kids might be removed from their homes.

Of course, the issue for the job then is that if the mom can’t find child care, and she can’t bring the kid to work, she (or the dad) just have to stay home, which means the job doesn’t have their labor for the day.

@jca2, of course. I said so too. My point with mentioning the family relationship was to respond to your remark, ” I’m surprised the boss tolerates it.” The boss tolerates it because it’s her (or his) granddaughter. That forces everyone else to put up with inappropriate behavior and disruption in the workplace.

Working alongside the boss’s daughter must be hard enough without having the boss’s grandchild underfoot and acting out.

It sounds about normal. I was running in the display cases at my local museum at 3. Also I was peeing on the meteorites and crapping in the potted plants. I was generally running amuck.
I was worse with my dad, and better with my mom.

What they said. The child is unhappy and acting out. All the blame is squarely on Mom.

@RedDeerGuy1, sorry, but that doesn’t sound at all normal to me.

Thank you everyone for responding. I admit I was a bit angry when I wrote the question. At that time my boss was having her hand full with paperwork and a client and she was looking for something at the same time, while the child was screaming for her mom and throwing a big tantrum. Seeing my boss so stressed out put me in a bad mood, especially when she was also trying to please the child and let her have her tantrum.

I plan to have a chat with the mom about this, because the child stresses out both my both and her. But I can guess the reason why a small child is there is because my coworker can’t find anyone to take care of her. She usually goes to work in the evening, the time when most nurseries are closed. Maybe she can’t afford a babysitter or doesn’t trust them. Anyway I agree that my workplace isn’t a good place for the child. She occasionally disrupts my class too.