Okay, this will sound silly but I'm gonna ask anyway... why don't we still have pirates?

Still plenty of pirates around:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piracy_in_the_21st_century

Nothing as romantic as some scruffy old sailors with wooden legs, hooks for hands, eyepatches, and parrots on their shoulders.
No, much more mundane and base.

Go with your luxury sailboat to the waters near Somalia, and find your answer.

Ahoy thar! Still plenty of pirates, just watch N.C.I.S. or sail around Africa.

Go to Somalia !

Plenty of pirates there !

They devolved into computer pirates.

Totally do. My friend’s boat was boarded by pirates in the carribean and they killed her dad. Pirate is just a word for boat criminal.

All that swashbuckler shit is 400 years and several cycles of romantic literature ago, but yes, the seas still contain villains. This is like asking why there aren’t thieves anymore. After all, you’ve never seen a sooty, artful dodger type in a busted silk hat stealing watches and silks, so there must not be any.

For one thing, transporting valuable cargo by sea is not the risky enterprise it used to be. In the old days there was no radio, no communication with land or among ships, no way to spot other vessels (friend or foe) in the area unless another vessel was within sighting distance, no way to signal an emergency or call for help except to other ships near enough to see distress signals mounted on board or sent up as rockets. You were “Alone, alone, all, all alone, / Alone on a wide wide sea!” (Coleridge)

There’s plenty of crime of all kinds still, but it doesn’t involve people dressed in romanticized Halloween costumes and wielding daggers and cutlasses.

There are pirates, though today they are often called thieves, hijackers, terrorists, and many other monikers.

I agree with everyone that there are still pirates around. Everyone has said everything that needs to be said about the existence of pirates so I can’t add anything more.

But it seems that you are thinking of the kind of pirates that are like those from Pirates of the Carribean. So what I will add is that it’s actually good that “the age of pirates”, as you seem to be thinking of, won’t make a comeback. Pirates back in those days were a sad side effect of a messed up society. Two biggest factors that drove people into piracy were extreme poverty and a greedy and cruel government. People came to piracy because it was their only choice, not because it was cool or romantic like you see in movies.

Imagine you are an average citizen in the early 18th century. You have no money because your family has been taxed to eternity by the King/Queen who needed more money for the luxurious lifestyle. You need to find a job, but everyone needs a job these days and all jobs are apparently taken. There seems to be a job that is in hot demand and seems to still have a position for you: a sailor for the Royal Navy. You plan to apply for the job, but then while you are sitting in a pub you hears from an old man that your old friend just died. He was a sailor for the Navy and he was killed by his own Captain as a punishment for falling asleep while on duty. It seems like your friend was constantly overworked and underfed, the stranger says, and one small misstep and he was gone.You start to hesitate, wondering if you will also be killed for a small mistake. The stranger suddenly mentions the name “Captain One-eye”. He then reveals to you that he is actually your friend’s friend and actually witnessed your friend’s death, and that Captain One-eye rescued him from the cruel Navy officer during an ambush. He then sings all the praise about Captain One-eye, about how he is the fairest person in the world and how he feeds and pays everyone equally. Excited by the prospect, you joins the old man. Immediately you realize that the pirate boat is not so bad. You get to be in a community with order and honor. Although you dislike all the killing and robbing and cramped space, it is the best job life can offer you. Between being an unemployed hobo, an abused Navy sailor, and a pirate sailor, you would rather be the pirate.

Over the last 40–50 years, pirates have raised their ugly head every so often…usually to their own detriment. As the world has become smaller, their ability to be successful has grown smaller!!! Hence, the pirate’s ability to amass great wealth has diminished over time, thereby making it not nearly as lucrative as it once was & definitely NOT as romantic as the movies portrayed it. More pirates than victims died leading to the job of pirate losing its appeal!!! As others pointed out, Somalia was a hotbed of pirate activity for a while & then the world governments stepped in & effectively shut them down!!!

Now that you’ve brought the subject up, it’s probably about time for our next attempt by a ragtag group of pirates to unsuccessfully overtake a ship.

We do. https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/modern-day-pirates-countries-with-the-most-maritime-piracy-today.html

Technology has improved since the 1800s.
1) Cargo ships have several GPS trackers working on both main Global Navigation Satillite Systems, GNSS.: US GPS and Russian GLONASS
They are tracked via an app similar to FlightAware . Any straying from the preplanned route sets off warning flags
2) Radios now enable ships to communicate with anyone instantly. (Ok not quite instantly it takes ~80ms to loop the earth.) It takes less than a second to call for help.
3) Radar now warns ships of incoming threats.
4) Even if the attack were successful, the “spoils” are marked in a number of ways.
5) Navies have helicopters and planes with stabilized firing platform to take out threats upon request.
6) The US has Navy SEAL with incredibly diverse skill sets. Read about the rescue of Captain Phillips of the Maersk Alabama. The SEAL rescue team silently parachuted in at night from high altitude onto the ship.
The team consisted of skilled snipers all aiming at their own particular pirate. When all had a clear view of their targets they fired, taking out the pirates within a second.
Pirates would need to be very desperate to make an attempt today.