If someone took you out for your birthday or other special occasion, would you be somewhat conscientious of the cost when ordering, or would you order whatever pleased you?

I would take the host’s circumstances into consideration. I would order according to what they could afford. If I know the host has limited means, even if they say to go while hog, I would be circumspect about ordering lavishly.

I would take a cue from what they were ordering for themselves. :)

I would be conscious of the host’s means as far as I was aware of it, but I would also not try to take advantage no matter how well I thought they could afford it. To the extent possible, I would take a cue from my host.

If I were the host and I really did want my guest to dine lavishly, I would lead the way: “Let’s start with some champagne. I’m planning on having the lobster. Feel free to order whatever you like.” If I were obliged to keep it modest, again I might set the expectation: “I’m having the chicken. What are you in the mood for?”

I would not order the most expensive items on the menu. For lunch I would never order three courses unless the host specifically said something to indicate we should get appetizers, entree, and dessert. I rarely order three courses to begin with.

I’d take my cue from the host, I’d let them order first. I wouldn’t order more courses than the host.

I don’t drink alcohol, so I’m generally a cheap date, but if the host orders a drink, I would assume it’s ok for the guest to do the same. In my case, if they have a drink, it’s probably the same as me ordering an appetizer or dessert.

Just that it’s lunch and not dinner indicates to me smaller meal and lower price.

If I know the person is wealthy and they picked an expensive place, then I would be less concerned about price, but I still wouldn’t be greedy about it.

Never order an expensive meal.

I would bear the cost in mind as I wouldn’t want to take advantage nor would I want to give the impression I didn’t think the host could afford it.

Like pretty much everyone else, I would order based on context of circumstances.

I would just ask if I can inflate myself tonight.

I would be somewhat cautious and take my lead from them.

What @janbb said.

No matter the occasion or circumstances, I always read my host’s cues.

If the host encourages me to have an expensive cocktail and appetizer, while making comments such as, “I’m having the lobster,” the person’s giving clear signals that cost isn’t a concern and we’re dining lavishly. If the host orders a single glass of wine or a soft drink, while choosing a moderately-priced main course, I’ll follow that lead.

This is simple etiquette and common sense. An invitation isn’t an excuse to abuse someone’s generosity.

I thought it was a Midwest frugality thing but apparently not, I’m pleased to read.
We never order much when someone else is paying, regardless of their cues or words.
And especially not cocktails, apps or dessert items.

Sometimes the answer is “it depends.” This is one of those.

I am always cost conscious, and would be that way even if someone else was paying. It’s one thing to order a cocktail and a dessert if prompted, but I would never want to over indulge anyone’s pocket book.

I don’t actually go out to eat anywhere, with anyone due to the ongoing pandemic, but back when I did, I was always very mindful of cost.

“Somewhat conscientious” would be an understatement. As an introvert I would prefer not to find myself in a situation like this. But if I did agree to accept such an invitation I’d certainly be mindful not to take advantage of whoever extended the courtesy to invite me out by being greedy. I’d probably order a light meal and pig out when I returned home.

Like many others, I’d take my cues from the host.

When I offer to pay for someone’s meal, I try to decide what I want fairly quickly and say, “I think I’m going to have the…” to kind of set the stage, usually on the high-ish side. I also encourage them to order whatever they’d like, because when I invite them I try to estimate how much an expensive meal might be and make sure I can cover it. When it comes to dessert, we usually end up looking at each other and saying we couldn’t eat another bite, or split a dessert.

I’d try to go inexpensive. Most places have good food on specials.

What @raum said.

I’d definitely be conscientious. I’d order something in the middle price range and a small dessert.

I usually don’t order much to begin with. Give me an iced tea and an entree. That’s all I need.

I might order a dessert since it is my birthday but it’s not something I usually do.

I think if you ask for anything else you are taking advantage of the situation.

I’d definitely take into consideration what the host could afford. Then I would order whatever would please my palate (usually not the most expensive item anyway) and not overstuff me in calories. Although for special occasions, I would allow the excess calories from dessert.