Are you hesitant to be where targeted groups gather?

I’m always scared when going outside alone. I am probably the only Canadian who locks their door when inside.

I’m hesitant to go anywhere anymore. A grocery store, church, a library, even a movie theater. A distant relative pulled a gun at a theater here in my state. Actually fired a bullet. He was drunk, but that’s no excuse. The police arrested him. The judge let him off with a warning and gave his gun back.
Lawmakers aren’t doing their jobs.

Great question.

I still carry with me the remnants of my upbringing in a small town in Oklahoma. That means that since I’m a white cis-male, I rule.

I live in a community without a racial majority, and I like that a lot. Still, when I walk down the narrow aisles between desks, others let me go first.

I mention these things to say that I rarely think about risk when I move about in my surroundings. I’m not a woman and didn’t ingrain the ever present careful guard women must maintain. I’m white, so my minority status is not on my skin.

However, I do think about my minority status when I’m with my boyfriend in some areas of Oahu where we might attract unwanted attention. I also think about being a sexual minority, because it is so important to me that we must gain unflappable acceptance in all aspects of society. Anything that keeps me from being as openly happy as a cis-heterosexual person is homophobia, and it must be eradicated.

The day after the Pulse massacre, I went to Hula’s, our most famous gay bar, as soon as it opened. It was important to be with my tribe. I have been chatting much more the last 2 days with my tribe this time.

I’ve never been to a black church, but I wouldn’t hesitate to go if invited. I have been to synagogues and enjoyed them very much.

Thank you for reading.

Every group is a targeted group, no matter who they are. Stay away from groups in general if you want to feel safe.

I go to NYC every few months, this upcoming holiday included. I do think about it whenever I go to NYC, not because of targeted groups, but just because of the crime that is rampant there.

I do think about it when I am in a large crowd now, like a concert or theater, not because of targeted groups, but because of mass shootings, in general.

As far as targeted groups specifically, NYC has a lot of targeted groups but I just go and try to stay vigilant and hope for the best. The alternative is we don’t go but the problem is not going away so I might never go there again if I tried to avoid it because of targeted groups.

I think that is nearly impossible to avoid. I go to school and schools have been targeted horribly as we know. I am always on guard whenever in public no matter where I am or even who I’m with.

Not yet. I only worry in a couple of scenarios: at outdoor gatherings that are close to streets, and at big box stores in America.

@kritiper Are you saying all gatherings are potentially dangerous? Or that all groups are equally dangerous?

I’m always aware of surroundings.

I’ve been in African-American churches, gay bars (I knew the owners through a mutual friend, I’m straight) and synagogues. All that was 50 or 60 years ago.

Not today! !

Isn’t it interesting that LGBTQ people aren’t shooting up straight night clubs. Blacks aren’t shooting up white grocery stores. Latinos aren’t shooting up WalMarts. Jews aren’t shooting up Christian churches. Nope. It’s always a white radicalized man.

@Hawaii_Jake, excellent point. Maybe the people who feel threatened aren’t the same people who are threatened.

Well, I’m a very defiant and stubborn person, so no, I’m not going to be deterred from visiting places where “targeted” people congregate. I won’t live in fear.

There are many situations I feel more on guard, like when in a big city compared to a suburb, or if it is nighttime compared to daytime, and I understand why people mention schools and movie theatres, but for me none of those compare to when I perform at an advertised Jewish event (I will be doing that on December 18th and 22nd) or when I am in a synagogue on any day.

I haven’t been to a gay nightclub in years, but I used to go almost every week. I never felt more at risk in a gay club compared to a straight club years ago, but now I would. I would feel at high risk at a gay pride parade also.

I would not feel at risk at all in a white Christian church, it wouldn’t occur to me that I was a sitting duck there, probably because statistically it is not anywhere close to the risk of sitting in a synagogue if it at all. Not in American anyway. Sure, anything bad can happen anywhere, I completely agree with that, but I would not feel specifically in a location that is targeted, or in a place where the people are targeted. To me being in a Christian church that is primarily white would be the same as being at a supermarket. Something I do on any given day without thought.

Any advertised event I guess I would feel some increased risk. Like the Boston Marathon, New Year’s Eve in Time Square, Macy’s Day Parade, and so on.

I asked mostly because I have my performance coming up, and every year I hope some lunatic doesn’t show up and shoot up the place, and I just wonder if the people who aren’t Jewish who come to see the show and celebrate with us and the performers who aren’t Jewish even give it a second thought. I know I am not the only Jewish person who thinks about there being some risk at the Chanukah event. There is always police presence, but that doesn’t change for me that I still have to deal with even thinking about it. I don’t obsess about it, but the thought crosses my mind.

I’m generally not concerned. I go where I always have gone.

@snowberry You’re always in places that are specifically for minority groups that are targets of hate?

Not at all. This question has set me to wondering which places I might frequent I should consider targeted, and why I would have reason to be there. It’s a tough combination for me to match. I’m personally so innocuous in appearance, that regardless of where I might find myself, I’m too bland and uninteresting to qualify as a deliberate target. And when it’s a matter of being confronted by the unbalanced, what place is immune?

@JLeslie The town where I live is generally not a “safe” town. But I go to the grocery and to the polls, and minority groups go there too, and because I’m a Christian, that would mean my church is also a potential target. Our church has a trained security team, with policies in place should the need arise.

Bottom line, I don’t go out much, but I go where I’ve always gone. I’m not worried about my safety. That’s God’s problem. I have discovered that if I take care of His business, He will take care of mine.

@snowberry How is being in a white Christian church a target? Assuming it’s mostly white. I don’t fault them for having security there the same as any school, supermarket, but a Christian church is nowhere near the risk of a Black church, synagogue, mosque, just look at the data. https://www.statista.com/statistics/737660/number-of-religious-hate-crimes-in-the-us-by-religion/ Keep in mind there are 220 million Christians and 6 million Jewish people. The statistical chance of a Christian being a target of hate violence is around 1 in a million. For Jews it’s 1 in 10,000 if my math is right.

I’m not picking on you, other jellies say similar. I was just curious about your interpretation of the Q, I might not have worded it well. Mostly, it was about being in a minority place does someone feel more at risk.

Christians are being told over and over that they are being targeted and hated but it’s not true. Not in a significant way. It is true in other parts of the world, which is horrible.

Sexual orientation also has very high statistics for hate crimes against them.

@HP What about places you don’t usually frequent? Like coming to my Chanukah performance, which is outside in a town square, 300–600 in attendance depending on the location, or going to a gay club in Orlando?

Apparently, you’re really not safe anywhere in America. This just happened:

“Six people are dead and four are hospitalized from the Virginia shooting, while the suspect is dead from what is believed to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound, authorities said” CNN

@snowberry I think I overlooked that you are saying generally where you live is higher risk. I’m not sure why your town is higher risk, but maybe you are saying you are aware minorities are at higher risk. I might have misinterpreted initially.

@janbb But, what’s your answer to the Q? Are you more apprehensive in a minority situation that is known to have more hate violence against that group? You’re a minority, do you think about it as more of a risk?

Believe me, last night when I heard about the Walmart shooting I felt like it’s all around us I need to seriously be ready to leave the country. It’s not that I don’t count violence and murder in a Walmart, I do, but I’m not worried about someone targeting the Walmart where I live, I am worried about it walking into the synagogue where I live.

No. This is Texas, you don’t even need a permit to carry any more. I’ll give it right back at them, as long as I’m breathing. They can play with their guns in hell. And I’ll be happy to send them there.

@JLeslie That’s a valid question and I don’t really have a good answer. I think I’d feel fairly safe in New Jersey going into a synagogue although we have had hate crimes here. But guns are not as much a part of the culture. I might feel less safe taking part in certain demonstrations or in other parts of the country.

@JLeslie If I look at a crime map of the town where I live, The majority of it is red. It’s hard to go anywhere there without crime being a concern. Compared to many other places, there also are a high number of minorities in our town. Anywhere I am likely to go in my town might be considered higher risk.

Specifically you were asking about black churches and would I still attend since they are “more” of a potential target? Sure! So I go wherever I need to go as I always have.

@longgone All groups are potentially dangerous as a combined target source.
“Or that all groups are equally dangerous?” Makes it sound like the danger might come from within instead of from without.

@kritiper In the case of the Walmart shooting yesterday 11/22/22, it was an employee, a manager from what I’ve read, that shot employees in the break room. So I guess that counts as from within.

I work at a grocery store. Our exterior doors were just given numbers to help identify entry/exit sites if we have a mass shooter.

I fear about my son being a target because he’s trans.

@JLeslie I would come to your Chanukah performance without trepidation. In fact, I would show up out of sheer nosiness. Will you personally be singing, or are you an instrumentalist? And as for the gay bar in Orlando? If your performance were THERE, I would find the urge to attend irresistible. The fact that our society has devolved into one where the kooks are adrift in a sea of lethal weaponry is rarely foremost in my mind. I don’t (yet) feel at risk. I’m just not used to it. Sadly, that will change when armed guards are posted at the doors of your temples or the unlocked door of some family sitting Shiva. When you think about it, the risks to any of us personally are still minute. I would think even today you are far more at risk walking around as a woman than you ever will be as a Jew.

@HP I dance at the Chanukah celebration. Israeli folk dances. Everyone is welcome, I t’s outside in a town square open to the public. I dance with my dance troupe, and the choir from the temple sings some Chanukah songs and the rabbi tells the story of Chanukah and lights the menorah. They give out chocolate money and dreidels to the crowd. It’s in two squares this year on two separate days because the crowd was so big last year.

We also have tree lighting for Christmas in three squares, but I never worry about that, except for it being annoyingly crowded. That has a band or DJ playing music and they bring in food vendors and also performers throughout the night. We do that for St. Patrick’s, Oktoberfest, Halloween, Mardi Gras, Strawberry Fest, just to name a few. I only worry about Chanukah.

@JLeslie Serious question: Even if the Chanukah celebration is in one of the open squares in The Villages, wouldn’t it be unlikely that anyone from outside the area would make their way there with a gun to kill?

@janbb Obviously, I’m not totally panicked and paranoid about it, I perform in it every year.

How far away does someone need to come from? We have some white supremacists within 60 miles. You might too. They’re all over the country. We probably have a few right here in The Villages.

It’s unlikely someone from very far would come to see it, but a lunatic who wants to shoot up Jews and make a big spectacle? The Villages gets all sorts of press on the national news, it’s not just another town in America. The country always knows when Trump is here. Maybe the saving grace is that the nation perceived The Villages as a QAnon haven.

I do think it’s unlikely anyone outside of The Villages and the immediate surrounding areas bothers to look at our event calendar. We do have lots of people come from surrounding cities to our car shows, parades, and other events. Halloween is full of children from the local areas.

@JLeslie If I lived near you, I would volunteer free gratis to guard your events. As well as any gay / bi / trans events who need my services. Nothing could give me more joy than to take out one of these hate filled far-right gun nut maniacs. If I end up in prison oh well.

I honestly don’t know what groups aren’t targeted anymore.

If you live in a culture where everyone believes they have a right to own a gun, but no one thinks about responsiblity – then more and more people will feel like shooting at their problems makes sense.

So I’m a fatalist. And that makes me an optimist. I go where I go and do what I do.

@JLoon Dttto I’ll be damned it these fuck wads will control my life. I hate them more by the day.

I have always had a bad habit of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong, but it makes me feel good if people feel safe with me. There was an incident years ago, when I was working Safety management in a hospital, a Muslim lady in a Barka, or whatever they call those things, asked me to escort her to get a drink from the cafeteria for her mom, a patient. So, I did, took her down then back up. This was shortly after 9/11 and I could see she was nervous. At first, I was going to call security, but then I thought, well, safety is my JOB. I was happy to assist her and hopefully made her feel more comfortable. We did get a few nasty looks, but oh well.

@chyna That would possibly indicate that the danger IS ALWAYS there in any group at any time when it isn’t. What happened was from without because, under normal circumstances, there shouldn’t be any danger in a group. The gun, as an example, was not normally there or normally used to threaten anyone.

@Nomore_ You are a wonderful man! {{{HUGS}}}

My son was terrified to go to school his senior year, the first full year after quarantine lockdown. I received weekly emails about disturbances at the school involving students with weapons and police involvement. One boy was beat up by two others in a classroom not far from my son. My son ended up dropping out for his own well-being.

What a luxury it must be to be nonchalant about this subject.

@RayaHope I don’t know what I did to deserve that but thank you! For the hugs as well. I’ll
never wash my back again!

@Jonsblond can you tell us where the disruptions were so intense in the schools?

@Nomore_ For just being you…..ummm about never washing again..

Was the electrical outage in NC found to definitely be about some trans event that they wanted to sabotage?

I really don’t understand not thinking minority events are bigger targets. I think it must have to do with many people in minority groups feeling targeted our entire lives, while maybe the average white, straight, person, has only started to think about it in the last 20 years and somehow sees everyone as equally targeted.

@HP Where? In classrooms, common areas and outside. Literally the entire school building. Just being in school makes one a target these days.

(Am I misunderstanding your question?)

I was wondering where the school is as well as whether this is typical.

Downtown city high school in Madison, Wisconsin (population 250k) with approximately 2000 students.

https://www.pewtrusts.org/en/research-and-analysis/blogs/stateline/2021/11/08/covid-harmed-kids-mental-health-and-schools-are-feeling-it

I’d have no problem going to any of those places. Won’t let the bad guys win. Violence happens everywhere and can at any time, so one can’t stop living over the extremely, extremely low odds that something will happen like that when you happen to be there.