Can you give an example of a psychological/spiritual knot?

Superb question.

My adult life has been spent slowly unraveling the tight knots tied in me by my parents and their awful church.

There is a saying that we carry baggage. I had more. I had an entire freight train.

Through years of therapy, I slowly emptied many freight cars of their contents. I unraveled many knots and repaired my rope.

I have a large knot that doesn’t want to come undone. When I face a problem, my first reaction is to blame myself, and in so doing, I use very abusive language to myself. It’s really awful. I’m slowly getting better at combating that old voice, and I’m working diligently in therapy to learn strategies to counter it. I also use medication that helps. Some days, it’s necessary to take medicine and then try again.

I fully believe that our highest calling is to heal ourselves.

Although I have had many knots given to me at a very young age, I have tied many of them myself. I am my worst enemy when it comes to my own imperfections even ones that I have no control over. I punish myself in many ways, some intentional some not. I am working on untying them little by little but it is a lengthy process.

I’m constantly shocked that people blame me for things that are actually my own fault, and that I really did do.

Those kind of obvious facts trouble my soul and make me question my purpose in life.

If it weren’t for meanigless sex and overpaid work my feelings would be hurt.

And then there’s my ongoing stuggle against serious thinking. Fortunately I use psychological knots to tie my shoes. I realize it’s just a coping mechanism, but it keeps from being barefoot…in a spiritual sense.

Psychological knots are what make us real. Without our psychological knots and our struggles with life we would become psychological noughts. It is pain and the communication of pain that gives rise to some of the greatest achievements in poetry and painting. Don’t envy the blank canvas, it cries out to be coloured.

@JLoon You and I think so differently and so much alike at the same time it’s SCARY! I LOVE your sense of humor, you are so witty. I bet you are the life of any party and so much fun to be with!

@RayaHope – Let’s be honest. We need help ;)

I’d elderly now. I think that just surviving and retiring from 38 years of a high pressure and thankless profession has set me free from my psychological issues. Even though I reached a relatively high level of success including leadership roles I could never escape the feeling that I was faking it and at some point someone would find out that I was a fraud. My professional licenses and National Registries were all valid. But I felt like I was playing a role in a movie. I painted a facade for others to see. I was the person that I thought that people wanted me to be. It was exhausting. The day that I retired was a very good day for me. I felt so free. I could finally be myself. And who am I? Well that’s another story. HA!