Do you think I would like where you live?

You would hate my state. It’s so boring with very little to do. The concerts we get are mostly country music bands. While there is nothing wrong with country, give me some good old rock and roll!
There is only one semi museum, and it hardly ever gets anything new.
The people I know don’t care about sexual preferences, but I think we are in the minority.
Why did I stay? That’s for another question.

Hawaii is paradise, and I can guess you’ve been here. The weather is perfect all year long. It’s the most liberal state in the country. There are pockets of backward thinkers, but they are easy to steer out of the way.

Each island has its own personality. If you want shows, then Oahu is the place to be, but it’s accessible from any island. However, the cost of an overnight stay in a hotel is often high for people.

Jobs are a completely different kettle of fish. The easiest place to land a job is Honolulu. The state of Hawaii is a good employer, but getting through the application process can be daunting.

Rent is high, but it’s not different from large mainland cities.

The culture is honestly different than the mainland. It’s much more Asian, and Asian cultures are predominant. Traveling to Asian and the South Pacific is very easy from here. Traveling to the West Coast of North America is easy, and many airlines have direct flights from other points on the mainland.

The best thing about Hawaii are the people. The spirit of aloha is real. It’s written into our state constitution. We are honestly friendlier than anywhere else I’ve ever been.

Come and check us out. I’ll buy you a cup of coffee.

@Hawaii_Jake Hawaii would be my first choice but the logistics of moving and working is so daunting. I like Maui best, then the Big Island, but I don’t think I could make a living on either of those 2 islands. Oahu is too similar to the place I live now and I didn’t enjoy it much. ¯\(ツ)/¯

You probably would hate where I live. This town has a population of 1,000. It’s 20 minutes to Walmart and fast food. There are no oceans and no mountains.
With all that I love it here. We can put you up in our camper if you want to visit!

You would like where I live in Contra Costa county between Oakland and Walnut Creek in Northern California.

We are a half hour from Mount Tam, a half hour from downtown San Francisco. ten minutes from restaurants and entertainment in Oakland. My town is semi rural, although expensive.

You would like Bend, Oregon. I would.

You wouldn’t like it here just now. We have just been through a very cold snap and with the thaw we have about three inches of slushy snow on the roads and pavements.

However, there are plenty jobs in the retail and restaurant and transport industries and there is a good choice of live entertainment. There has been a lot of immigration into my city in recent years which partly explains the broad international choice of restaurants, cafes and fast-food places. I wouldn’t say it is LGBT friendly as it is friendly to everyone and being LGBT isn’t an issue.

It is a very walkable and cyclable city with a good public transport network or at least there will be when the slush melts away.

I suspect you would like it here, in the short term at least, and in the summer rather than the winter. The countryside round about is very beautiful.

I don’t think you would much like like Connecticut, primarily because of the weather, but I think you would love love love Seattle, where I used to live.

I think you could adjust to my location quite easily.
The weather is very similar.
Your food choices would be the same, although if you like any of the restaurants in Pasadena, it would be a longer drive.
We’re closer to San Fran and HI, so you would find it to be even more LGBTQ friendly!
Also, you could keep your job, and the commute would only be about 6 or 7 miles different. ;)

Depends. How good is your German?

”no weirdo conservatives who want to take us all back to 1950” LOL! good luck with that one. I like it here in Virginia and not too many weirdo conservatives who want to take us all back to 1950 but they are everywhere.

Parts of Georgia – particularly Atlanta – would check off every box you have, including LGBTQ friendliness.

Outside the metro area… well .. we have our share of rural hicks.

You might like it here in San Jose. I’m an East Coast transplant, and there are some things I’ve never gotten used to in 4½ decades, but it would probably be different for you.

San Jose has been called the L.A. of the north, and not in a good way, but it does have its pluses. We’re about 45 minutes from San Francisco in one direction and Santa Cruz in the other. We’re close to Palo Alto (Stanford), Mountain View (Castro Street shops and restaurants, theatre), Felton and Ben Lomond (woodsy, tie-dyed sixties vibe), Los Gatos (upscale), and several modest communities. Also Mount Hamilton and the Santa Cruz mountains. And the Pacific Ocean.

Even though it’s the tenth largest city in the U.S., with a developing skyline and everything, SJ is still trying to grow up into a real city and not just be a bedroom community for SF. It does have arts groups, museums, live theatre companies, large concert venues, some fine downtown shops and restaurants, nightclubs, several nearby shopping malls, plenty of hospitals, several universities (SJSU is practically downtown), the Sharks, public transportation (still working on that), green spaces, and an actual (if small) river. Widely varied ethnicities, lots of accents, lots of cuisines, assorted festivals and fairs.

Airport, light rail, train station, buses, and 101, 880, 680, and 280. And more.

There’s also, of course, the whole Silicon Valley thing, with clusters of A-list companies all within or close to the city, among them Adobe, Alphabet, Apple, Cisco, Google, eBay, HP, Intel, LinkedIn, Meta, Nvidia, Paypal, and Zoom. And, sort of, Twitter.

There seem to be pockets of LGBTQ haters just about anywhere you go, but SJ seems on the whole to be friendly enough. Over the years the quadriplex across from me has been occupied by from one to four lesbian couples at a time, and I’ve never known them to see any trouble here. (I find their presence very comforting because it means they feel this neighborhood is safe for them.) In general, the gays and lesbians I know seem to be treated like anybody else, with no particular noise or fanfare. Same for people with all kinds of piercings, leatherwear, hair color, etc. I see couples in public who don’t seem to attract any special notice, and I have never seen anybody being harassed. I also happen to know there are some clubs and dungeons in the area, for those whose tastes run to kink, or at least there were before covid.

There are also some gay choral groups around here that put on wonderful programs. I’ve attended many of them, partly because I had friends in the choruses.

The rents are high, though, in most areas. Unfortunately there are a lot of homeless sites also, and some very low-income areas. And lately the tech companies have been staging massive layoffs. So there’s plenty of uncertainty, but there always has been. San Jose may still be worth a place on your “maybe” list.

@tinyfaery There are no good jobs outside medical on Maui or the Big Island. As a rule, jobs in Hawaii don’t pay as well as the mainland.

Northern California is not for me, unfortunately.

Is it humid in Atlanta?

Maybe I’ll look into Seattle. I work in legal so I can work anywhere.

Seattle is just awesome. But there are smaller towns surrounding it. Kent,Renton, Tacoma, Auburn.

@tinyfaery, are there any other places on your no-go list?

I am glad to know you’re ok.

Given your criteria and what I know about you as a Jelly, I think you’d love the Boston area — except for the weather. Not sure you’d enjoy our winters.

Sequim, WA has an annual rainfall of about 16”, and the population is about 6,600.

I don’t know what the job situation is or how progressive the town is.
I like to think it’s like Berkeley, CA, but I might be wrong. ;p

I’m sorry Honolulu is not to your liking. I feel like there are jobs in the legal field here.

I live in a very secluded area, half way up a currently snow capped volcano.
Lots of GOP. Lots of potheads.
Prices are cheap.
Restaurants, movies, supermarkets, and hospitals are 25 miles away.
Not for everybody.

Yes.

Everyone would like it here.

That’s why I’m not telling anyone where it is.

Besides, there’s just one bathroom.

So try Florida.

Or Bangkok.

And bring your own towel.

Madison, WI has everything you would want except the weather I suppose.

Our winters can be cold but have so much beauty that can’t be ignored. You couldn’t pay me to move.

You know Jon and I would show you a good time and be good neighbors. You’d also be close to our Canadian friend. :)

I’m about 40 miles northeast of NYC, an hour and a half by train. The town I live in is rural and cozy, with a lake and horse farms, and lots of trails (horseback trails and walking trails). This is the area where Bill Gates’ daughter had her wedding this past summer. I live right next to a fairly large city in CT, and the downtown area is ten minutes from my house. CT is where I do all of my shopping and most of my dining out, and the Litchfield hills are about 45 minutes – another gorgeous area, and I’m geographically located in the Hudson Valley tourism area. I feel I’m in a great spot as far as access to lots of recreational activities, nature, culture – in all directions. I’m a history major and I love that there are a lot of historical sites all over, including old cemeteries, a Vanderbilt mansion about 45 minutes away, lots of stuff like that within an hour, in all directions.

Access to world class medical care is all around, too. You can very easily get to Yale or NYC if the local medical care doesn’t suit you or you’d like a second opinion.

It’s a two hour ride to Boston and a two hour ride to Newport Rhode Island from here. Gorgeous places for a long weekend trip. Sometimes we do the Boston thing to see a show and stay a few nights, and just change it up. Recently we’ve been going to NYC every weekend – Christmas weekend will be the 4th time in 4 weeks Typically we don’t go there more than a few times a year.

The weather here is not for everyone. It’s fairly cold from December to the end of March. I have my winter clothes out from October to May. Summers are hot and since I live on a lake, it’s kind of like a vacation here just being home in the summer. The little complex I live in used to be a summers-only place in the early 1900s and became full time in the 1980s. Prior to that, you were not allowed to be here between Labor Day and Memorial Day.

I should add that where I live is about 10 minutes from a Trader Joe’s and about 15–20 minutes from a Costco. I belong to FB groups for both Trader Joe’s and Costco, and there are some people who are such fans that they will travel hours to get to either store. I think it’s a litlte nuts to be so crazy about a store that you travel hours to get to one, but it’s a potential selling point if you like those stores. There’s also a Whole Foods about ten minutes away.

Based on your criteria, my place is a mixed bag. Employment isn’t that good unless you know where to look for or move far away from the city center. Live music and big shows are available, but they aren’t a frequent occasion. Not sure about the weather and food choice. If you like insanely hot weather and a lot of rain and big meals that take a long time to prepare then you are good to go. And no one is going to bug you about your weirdness. We don’t believe in getting into others’ business.

But first of all, are you prepared to face up with the language?

@JLoon SOLD! I’ll take THAT corner! And we can share your towel. ;}

Well @Jonsblond lives in heaven, I can tell you that!

I think you’d lovethe small city Ilive just outside of -Asbury Park. It’s a very gay friendly place with a great boardwalk, the ocean, live music scene and restaurants. Four seasons and generally not too harsh weather. And lovable penguins to visit!

We’ll never know. But, sure, I think you would like it.

I think you would love to visit where I live – if you came in the summer or early fall. It is beautiful. We have one of the lowest crime rates in the country. For years we were the lowest! But living here might not be the best for you. We have a zero walkability score. Unless you want to walk in nature there is not much within a few miles.
You should visit some time. See Niagara Falls, Finger Lakes wineries, and Cheese trail. Small farm stands selling produce on the honor system (take what you eant and put your money in the box.) That tells a lot about the community.
Put it on your bucket list.

Too cold where I live and too many allergy issues as well. When my son lived in Monterey California, he absolutely loved it there. I don’t know much about the place but my son said some years back that he wished he could live there permanently. He said the weather was perfect. I can’t answer the rest but maybe someone here knows more about it. I know its still in California but California is big enough that it will feel like you traveled to another state. Monterey is over 300 miles from where you live now, and if I travel that many miles in any direction I end up in 1 to 3 other states over, and weather and conditions and plant and animal life can vary. So I imagine California is about the same. I can’t stand the humidity in NC and really hate the humidity in the states below that. Virginia is somewhat habitable. The further north is too cold and the mountain areas can be nice but very small communities that are far from a lot of necessary stuff. The areas near water are jam-packed and crime is constantly rising and the cost of living is also more costly the closer you move towards the water. NC and South Carolina and GA and Florida are humid as hell and so much swamp land and bugs.

Oh, I take it back. I just looked it up. Homes are easily in the 1 million and up and apparently its 42 percent higher in cost than other places in California. To boot I kept seeing pictures of homes with dried up lawns. Looked like the drought has really done some damage. There does seem to be lots to do there but you may not be able to afford going anywhere after you buy your home. LOL

Monterey is on the coast and incredibly beautuiful but very exclusive. Gorgeous mansions and real estate. If you’re ever in the area, do the famous 17 Mile Drive:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/17-Mile_Drive

Man I wish I was an adult in the 60s. I’d buy up property in the PNW and California when they were dirt cheap.

@Jonsblond So how cold is cold? I can deal with sometimes snow but nothing like huge snow storms.

@janbb How’s the weather?

So I know that the Eastern seaboard and around it is accessible from a few states. Technically, I could live in one state and work in another, right?

@tinyfaery: Yes. I live in Massachusetts and work in New Hampshire.

@tinyfaery Gorgeous Spring and Fall usually. Summers between 80 if we’re lucky and some stretches in the 90s – can be quite humid. Winter varies from no snow to a few snowstorms, often one biggish one and some small. Temp can range from 40s down to sometimes a short stretch of 20s and below.

You can live in one state and commute. A number of people in my area work in the city – that would be NYC.

There is something else I need to add. Because it is not crowded here and the crime rate is so low, people are super friendly and driving is very easy. If you pull up to a 4 way stop it is not uncommon to have other drivers wave hello to you. If you are on the highway an need to move to another lane put your turn signal on an the car in that lane will slow down to let you in.
If you are in line at the grocery store it is common to talk with the cashier and other customers.
Stuck on the side of the road? Just wait a few minutes and someone will stop and ask if you need help – and mean it!
It’s wonderful.

I believe it bears repeating if LGBTQ acceptance is important, Hawaii is possibly the best state to be in.

This link is pretty interesting. I would not have guessed Nevada!