Well this question is kind of a case in point. Everyone is stuck on the meaning and merit of the idea of nihilism and even of me when that wasn’t what the question was about. I say that lightly, not arguing or anything.
Also when I said I shared these ideas which seemed nihilistic, I almost never tried to explain it myself because it’s not something I really know well in mind and not in my experience at all. It took the form of showing them either youtube videos or text like blog posts, reddit answers and stuff.
Since nihilism is specifically a philosophical term, I can’t speak on it as I don’t know philosophy but its description seem to closely match the ideas I’ve come across in spirituality, as I described in the first sentence of the question description.
The quick summary I got for nihilism from a google search showing the wikipedia description as: “Nihilism is a philosophy, or family of views within philosophy, that rejects generally accepted or fundamental aspects of human existence, such as objective truth, knowledge, morality, values, or meaning.”
I had been following certain teachers and teachings which seemed to have led me to the comprehension how there may be no such thing as truth outside of the mind or thought space. That truth was nothing more than a property of consistency in the mind or thought space and there was no real objective truth. Meaning one could find consistency in concepts any number of ways. And that truth could change and does change and in ways that exceed our ability to understand. But also in observable ways. But it’s all obscure now or was to begin with. As of now, I don’t see how to refute the truth of say a mathematical proof. If I do then that would do it but I’m not a mathematician.
The above paragraph is a description of one of many understandings I had which I no longer take seriously. Neither do I take nihilism seriously. Strangely, that in itself is kinda consistent with the description I just gave of truth. All the rest except for human existence seemed to also be of the mind and discounted as such. Human existence was discounted as being a divine drama or the play of one being incarnating as limited separate being in order to undergo a journey of self-discovery in the form of self-knowledge and self-realization hallmarked by the end of suffering in life before death. Again these are just ideas.
I stopped trying to figure it out. I’m currently trying to let go and have been finding strong faith in something mysterious and unknown. When I face minor crisis of doubt and confusion there is still the fact of the matter of how it feels to sink deeper into your being and so I know there must be something going on even if only rational, psychological and physiological.
After all is said and done, the question is still valid in my mind. These ideas seem to be a trouble maker of sorts at least in my past experience.
I would share some of those sources that got negative reactions except it would reveal too much about me. Instead I’ll share just one which is more recent.
https://www.reddit.com/r/awakened/comments/aigg5r/the_experience_of_ones_true_state_of_total/