How to deal with unrequited love?

Your best bet is to move on as quickly as possible. They may eventually change their mind about you one day, but it’s not anytime soon.

Don’t try to win them over, that’s just creepy.

Get involved in a relationship where the other person likes you back and work on your “being in a relationship” skill. That’s a useful one to have and it’ll make you more attractive to future parters.

Time

You have an obsession. You keep thinking the same thoughts over and over again. Here is a simple technique that I have found useful for overcoming obsessions. Get a notebook and express your feelings in writing. Write down everything you can about the girl. List all the reasons why you love her. What I have found is that once a thought is written down, there is less incentive to keep thinking about it. You have it down in paper and ink, ready to be reviewed any time that you need it. Then you are in a better position for moving on.

If you truly love someone than set them free. If they never come back then they where never yours.

Just a saying that my mom told me he as a child. I failed to put into practice, and paid for not using it in time.

Another friend said therapy or jail.

Therapy or jail.

You might start out by being honest with yourself!!! In place of looking at all the reasons that makes you love her, start looking for ALL the things that irritate the crap out of you!!! I bet she’s NOT as perfect as you’ve made up in your head. IF none of that works, try distancing yourself from her. Make it a point to stay away from her. Do you really want to devote your life to someone who wants nothing to do with you??? Are you really ready to love someone who can’t love you back??? As a really last resort, tell her that you love her & she will take care of the rest.

I don’t know how to answer this because coming from the other side of this it sounds creepy and stalker(ish). She would feel fear and possibly panicked if she has no feelings for you. Please consider her side of this before you act on it. Simply ask her and if she has no feelings for you please walk away and don’t bother her again.

I might not been clear enought. That person know my feelings, had some feelings for me few times. We couldnt be together, once, twice and now its all over

^^Well this isn’t exactly unrequited love if you two had a thing at one time and she had some feelings for you. There is a lot more information needed to even consider a proper response to this than you provided here.

I mean it does feel like this, I might used wrong words

If she or he has decided that it’s over, it’s still over. You can grieve but don’t obsess. @LostInParadise‘s idea is a good one. Also, getting busy with other things and other people even if not looking for a romantic relationship.

@Koxufoxu I’m sorry for your loss, but I do believe you may need to move on. I will be hard to do but you don’t want to force it if the other person is done. They will not come back to you if they don’t want to. Please don’t make this worse.

Give it time. There’s nothing else to do.

Or you can take care of yourself, and live a happy life.
My mom said that the bulls just can’t stand a happy cow chewing her grass.
Her future husband nabbed her because she had plans to travel to Europe, and to apply to the police academy, after high school. She had her sh*t together, and to some that is attractive.

Feather your nest, and get a good job, and others will chase you.

This is known as infatuation
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infatuation

How long does infatuation last?
Between 18 months and 3 years
https://psychcentral.com/relationships/love-versus-infatuation

A crush is supposedly a shorter more intense form of infatuation. Or in my mind they’re the same thing.

I’m not sure if this is established, but without reading up on it it seems pretty obvious that such a thing would have a functional aspect in human nature and way of life. It seems to be the initial glue or velcro if you will that later leads to more lasting bonds towards the imperative of procreation and rearing offspring.

I’m no longer overcome by it because I see it for what it is. I experience it all the time and just don’t do anything about it. It doesn’t bother me. Recently it was quite intense. It involved someone from my highschool days who I wasn’t infatuated with back then because everyone else was. All of a sudden I started dreaming of running into them and then actually constantly running into them. I personally do belief in metaphysical phenomena or at the least deeply subconscious mentalist phenomena. Even now the lingering feeling of their almost ethereal appearance in to my mind and perception is still there but it just never bothered me at all because I recognized how close to impossible it would be for us to be together nor has romance been at the forefront of my mind in recent years. Plus I know its function.

Now all of that said, if you are decidedly looking for that kinda thing, unlike myself, then I have something to share with you that I came across that I feel I have a duty to share. Unfortunately the universe is against me because the site that I think hosts the resource I want to share isn’t working so I’ll have to try from memory.

In the scope of spirituality, specifically self-realization or finding and fulfilling the ultimate meaning of your life, I have seen it written that:

The very reason why you exist is to experience a certain divine union between yourself and the one you are devoted to (love). I’m very much paraphrasing but bare with me. When you find this person, it is a life long bond. Your system is built for this. You are made for this. At a certain point the bond grows so strong yourself vanishes in the other and a kind of union is experienced and self-realization occurs the way it was intended to. The natural way. Through love. And it is the most powerful and the greatest experience a human being can experience.

I did my best. Now I follow some pretty out there teachings and teachers for my own personal reasons. And in this arena of exploring existence there is this certain place which is called no-self or the ultimate or the zero state or the end of everything or the second death or whatever. In this place where nothing has any meaning at all and nothing really exists. And I’ve observed people who very reliably demonstrate that they are speaking and living from this place of total emptiness beyond all of phenomena within consciousness. They have transcended life and death itself.

Now aside from the text which I failed to share here, I can confirm that the teacher I followed the most was very much teaching from this place of total emptiness beyond everything. And he consistently said that the only thing worth achieving in life is love. He described many grand experiences and states and revelations but none of them were important next to the awakening of love in the spiritual heart that is a very human thing. He encourage his students to not seek the ultimate or enlightenment or anything else but just love divine and then maybe whatever else they wanted to after. I’m trying to communicate that this is supposedly the very meaning of your existence. Even according to those who have gone totally beyond it.

So I hope I didn’t confuse you too much. It’s just that it’s something I’ve never experienced and it seems to be the sweetest and deepest desire in a person and also the greatest hurt. All of these are just claims and not within my experience but they ring true to my ears. The sensation of love is located in the chest. It’s overwhelming. It radiates with power. It sings like a divine bird. Or something. It silently screams and when it does sheer magic can occur. It is the most powerful thing, more powerful than suns. Ok enough of that. Happy crushing

You’ve admitted and accepted the reality—this person will never be available to you, and you need to move on. That’s the 1st, and most important, step.

You’re letting go of a part of yourself; it’s normal to grieve that loss. Also, you’ll find that yourself dwelling on “what if”; we tend to idealize and long for relationships that didn’t and can’t happen. As other Jellies have posted, please give yourself time, and stay busy with and distracted by the people around you and the activities that fulfill you.

Try to enjoy family and friends and, perhaps, do things that are new to you. I will not tell you that time heals anything….it never has for me. But if you are young I hope you will be able to open your heart to new possibilities. That takes effort….it doesn’t just magically happen.

Time, and moving on.
Just sitting and moping won’t help.
I am sorry.

There are better answers above, but my mantra has always been that the best way of getting over someone was getting under someone else.

^^ I like the way you think!!! ;-}

Love yourself. Consider that the time and energy you are spending on someone who does not care about you are precious time and energy put to waste.

If you are suffering that’s even worse imo. Why would you suffer for someone who doesn’t even care?

I agree with @mazingerz88. If somebody doesn’t care enough to be with me, I don’t “need” them. There’s some young lady out there just waiting to meet you & she will love you like you should be loved!!!

Unless there’s something else important that we need to know, look for your NEW lady!!!

@LadyMarissa Or man?

^^ YES!

@LadyMarissa Not all unrequited love situations are exactly the same as you know. But whenever I look back at those two years when I was mid-20s and suffered from unrequited love, it’s always what a total waste…all of that suffering for nothing. A month or two should have been enough. Lol

What finally ended the two year torture took me by surprise. My Dad saw the poor physical condition I was in and cried in front of me. That was it. Enough of this heartache bullshit.

It’s much, much harder to deal with unrequitable love. Unrequited? You just move on. Unrequited love is just a fact of life you have to deal with. Time to grow up.

Knowing this. You don’t know true love. Real love is actually what you feel when the feeling is reciprocated. I thought in the past that is what I felt until I loved someone who loved me wholeheartedly back. It is such a dynamic feeling. Unlike that of wanting,, lust, or a crush. This person will never be able to give you that feeling, and you owe it to yourself to look for that. Not pine on someone who will never be able to give you that.
So first rule. Love yourself more by moving on and enjoying the road you are on. This person may be one of many crushes. There will be others til you find the right one, unless you are intent on ruining your life.
And ask yourself this. Would this person ever shed a tear over me? No. So go forward and don’t look back.
Btw, not the person’s fault they are not into you. There isn’t always a solid tangible reason. You just can’t feel what you can’t feel. I had great guys crush on me when I was young but I just wasn’t attracted to them. Not because of looks but I just couldn’t like them that way.

You move on. There is no point in forcing yourself upon somebody who does not love you back. Keep your distance and do not disturb that person again. That is, if you are really in love with that person. Sometimes the best proof of love is letting go. That’s how you deal with unrequited love, my friend. Cheer up! The best is yet to come.

My Old Pappy used to say A woman is like an bus. Miss the first one they’ll be another one long in a few minutes. So heed the words of the smart people above and give it time. Don’t listen to Pappy, he wasn’t a well man.
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