What did you learn this year?

Interesting! I was about to post a very similar question. I was just thinking how I’m really getting good at nurturing myself lately. I had decided I was going to stay in my bathrobe this morning and read my book in front of the fire and just did that. It’s having rituals like that and getting really adept at figuring out what I need that has been making my life better lately.

It’s hard to articulate in a thoughtful and cogent manner, but essentially I’ve had to reevaluate some of my assumptions about the global balances of power and the degree to which nations can act against their own self-interest. Also I fear that the war in Ukraine has demonstrated the effectiveness of swarms of kamikaze drone ships. The implications of this tactic could radically undermine the security of US carrier groups and ultimately our role in the world. Supercarriers may become relics of the 1900’s.

I learned that it’s time to get moving! Every day needs to count – even if it is in a small way.
I’ve also taken to heart the message that evil succeeds if good lets it. Stand up and do something.
On a much lighter note: (in the key of C and Cm)
I have been playing with my harmonica(s) and have gotten over the hump with learning chords.

I leaned that at age 71 I don’t need awards.
I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

Went to world canoe competition in London last August. Made it to 2 final races and came in 4th place in both. 4th didn’t bother me as I put everything I had into all the 14 races that I completed in. It was the thrill of the fight and meeting people from other countries that I love.

Last September I raced with a 6 man canoe crew in an 18 mile race finishing in Kona, Hawaii. I went to the awards ceremony only to support my wife (her team came in 2nd in class). When they called my team up to collect our 3rd place medals (65 class) I pretended that I didn’t hear and kept talking to my friend. My team mates were out drinking beer. They later asked me why I didn’t collect our 3rd place meddles? I said something like, “It didn’t seem important to you and it certainly wasn’t important to me”. Also I told them that if someone wants to know how we finished then they can look it up on the official race results.

“I’d rather lose a race by a whisker than win by a mile”. – me

That Russia is not the near peer adversary that everyone, including themselves, believed them to be.

I learned that I can do things that I didn’t think I could. My friend made go kayaking this summer. I didn’t think I could do it. Not only was it easy, I had a blast. I need to try new things without outright dismissing them as things “I probably can’t do.”
Good New Years question!

I never learn.

But that means life is still a discovery.

Like @janbb, I learned the importance of nurturing myself. I was entirely too stressed and took 6 weeks off work. It was a very good idea.

I also learned the importance of firm boundaries where paramours are concerned. Self-centeredness and dishonesty are good reasons to say goodbye.

I started a moderate exercise routine that I’m pleased with, and I’m going to add some moderate strength training to it. I already can tell the difference. I’m turning 60 next year, and I want to remain easily mobile for many years to come.

Hau’oli Makahiki Hou!

I finally figured that my career goal is to make resource material for career counseling. Seeing that I had fun doing career tests.

@SavoirFaire, thank you for a thought-provoking question. “What did you learn?” is one of my favorite questions for many situations.

I learned, or hope I learned, two very important things:

1. Stress and anxiety were my greatest bane in 2022, and (mostly) not actual crises. That means that most of what made me miserable this year was in my mind, thoughts and emotions. Not imaginary—no!—but there was no blood or flames, although there were a few 911s. And there were some real losses. But stress and anxiety are at least theoretically within my control. So I can have a better year just by refreshing my attitude.

2. I really and truly can’t control what other people do, and so I am not responsible for their choices or actions. Not when they’re bad and not when they’re good. (And they can’t control mine either.)

Still working on detachment and boundaries.

Those lessons were about 12 years in coming. Some things take a while. I hope I can catch the next ones on a little shorter timeline.

I learned I needed hearing aids, well audiologist’s tests proved I needed hearing aids. They should be here next week.

I learned that I need to learn MORE!

In 2022 I learned how fragile and uncertain life can be and I will bring into 2023 my attempts to accept and to cope with that.

Very late in the year (Christmas) I learned I really am getting apathetic towards my husband’s family, which is actually a good thing. Sad in a way, but good.

I also further realize how worrying and being stressed out is just not worth it. I need to control it better. My BP was 160/80 to 180/100 for a few weeks, it’s just crazy to be killing myself over something that isn’t going to kill me. Know what I mean? Just so much better not to give a damn about losses and changes that aren’t really that important in the scheme of things.

I learned that it’s safe to trust that the other shoe won’t drop and that waiting for it to is a waste of mental energy.

@SavoirFaire, what about you? What have you learned?

Last year has been a wild ride for me.

Career-wise, this was when I finally got back to work after the lockdown. I got much much more responsibility at work that I haven’t got before. This was also the first time I actually had to work with small children. So I learned how to behave around them so that I don’t come off as too unapproachable. I have unwittingly acquired a soft voice around kids. I also learned to like their silliness too.

Relationship-wise, this was where I tanked. I witnessed people who I love go to the deep end and I couldn’t do anything about it. One of them had even hurt me in a deep level. I also witnessed people who looked nice on the outside but turned out horrible on the inside. As a result of all these trauma I have a feeling I become more sensitive to things and become agitated more easily. Maybe I already appear annoying and bitchy here on this site. If so then I sincerely apologize to all of you. I have not been feeling well emotionally for some time and my biggest fear is that I lashed out here and hurt someone. I never want to hurt anyone deep down.

I have joined a few support groups for help with my emotional problem. It is my hope that next year I will learn to regulate my emotion and deal with my traumas better.

I learned quite allot in the year 2022 and will not forget it.

1. I learned who my real friends and family were. None.
2. I learned to trust myself, and nobody else.
3. I learned what man needs vs what he wants.
4. I learned the sheer ogrish scale and depth of the problem of mans deceptive mind.
5. I learned about the spiritual process.
6. I learned about concealed aspects of the psyche and their role in integration.
7. I learned how to use cannabis.
8. I learned about prevalence of psychological transference and projection.
9. I learned that gaslighting is not obscure but a previously concealed in human behavior.
10. I learned that life is a teacher for the spirit.
11. I learned that society and civilization is artificial and not well suited for human life.
12. I learned that humans suffer because of they are locked inside of their heads.
13. I learned than self love is a real thing and rather important.
14. I learned how to listen to music.
15. I learned everything about making and using wood fires.
16. I learned about how monkeys live, think and behave.
17. I learned about the power of silence and solitude.
18. I learned about the power of stillness and relaxation.
19. I learned that the source of creativity is unknown, dark and empty and not in the skull.
20. I learned that perception goes deeper than thought
21. I learned how to breath.
22. I learned that truth is auspicious.
23. I learned what I really want in life and what I really am about.
24. I learned the value of self-honesty and outward sincerity.
25. I learned the power and peace of simplicity.
26. I learned that even the bravest of men can be cowards in front of the mirror.
27. I learned that without accountability, human nature would rip this world apart.
28. I learned that life will always be tough and there will always be ups and downs.
29. I learned that a miracle is shift in perception.
30. I learned that every explanation for anything ever is still just another description.

^^ I learned that and more from February of 2022 to about August and the rest has been revision.

Thanks to everyone for their answers. Some really good reflections there!

@Jeruba Last June, I injured my left arm. The damage isn’t permanent—and fortunately, I am right-handed—but I’m not expected to fully recover until sometime next month. Overnight, I went from the guy who opens all the jars, lifts all the boxes, and carries all the groceries to the guy who can’t pull open a cereal bag.

So I spent a lot of the year learning how to do things with one fully functional arm and one that could exert no more than the smallest amount of force in any direction. I had to learn to rely on tools for simple tasks. And to be completely honest, I had to learn how to ask for help. I grew up in an environment where asking for help was risky, which made it a hard habit to change.

It was frustrating at times, of course, but it had its upsides. My son loves being helpful, so we’ve been doing a lot of things together that I might have otherwise done on my own. And it has made me a better martial artist. One of my instructors told me it was actually the perfect time to relearn certain techniques since there was no chance I could rely on strength instead of skill.

It’s not something I’d recommend, but I’ve learned to live with it.

How to deal with anxiety and that I have Russian roots.