What effective ways have you seen for a person to break out of messed up mindsets?

One of the more common ways, is “hitting rock-bottom”, whatever that means for each person. Often it’s prison, or drug rehab, or homelessness. Sometimes that’s the one thing that finally forces a person to get out of their mindset and build anew. Some criminals end up with a lot of integrity and well-being, especially if they find the right people to associate with.

I beat alcoholism, I was an alcoholic but am no more, through prayer. Whenever I had an urge to drink, I prayed instead. It worked well.

My step daughter got into drugs and destructive relationships. It led her down the rabbit hole. She got out of it through a very arduous path that had strong negatives against the damaging path and strong support for going the right way. But in the end, we had to figure out the root of her damaging behavior. In her case it was a matter of self-esteem. She had poor self-esteem. We worked through that, letting her get “wins” and then celebrating them. We reinforced the good about her. We showed her where she was strong where she felt she was weak.

I’ve seen a strong social network do a lot of good. Friendships that lift you up are precious and can do miracles. I’m close to someone suffering from social anxiety, and their friends really drew them out. Once you find your people, it’s easier to feel loved.

Cognitive therapy/schema therapy was very helpful to me, personally. I learned to categorize or question some thoughts, behaviours, or feelings. Mindfulness helped a lot, too. I know that’s a bit of a buzzword, but it really just means noticing the moment, and that you’re safe (hopefully). It can work well for people who tend to spiral into feeling overwhelmed.

Other ways I’ve seen work for myself and others include various techniques for gaining new perspectives on oneself, and being able to choose to leave the old mindsets and habits, and build new ones. I’ve found and tried many of those, and they eventually worked for me.

Just one might work for someone, but many people may need to try several (and/or several sources/teachers/etc) till something clicks for them, and I’ve gotten something out of all of them, even after I considered myself in good shape.

They include:

Focusing (q.v. Eugene Gendlin’s book etc.)
(Psycho)therapy – (slow and expensive, but see Focusing for what seems to do most of the important work in therapy)
Feldenkrais
Holistic Peer Counseling
Meditation of various types (e.g. prana breathing – see Reginald Ray, satsangs, etc.)
Micheal Meade (a bit heady, but great, especially in retreat format)
Landmark Education (3-day-long intensive barrages of many things that tend to be quite effective)

Talk therapy worked for me. I’ve never been a substance abuser but traumatic events and low self esteem needed to be worked through.

Whatever the person’s strength is, ask for help inthat area.